Can you withdraw from a 401 to satisfy a divorce settlement without penalty?

No.

Yes. You need a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO) from the court, which specifies the distribution to your ex. Be careful - the QDRO must be properly prepared, or you run the risk of the distribution being taxable to you and also subject to a 10% early withdrawal penalty (which you woud haveto pay). Talk to your plan administartor to make sure all the correct information is present in the QDRO.

More details here: What Happens to your 401k when you are Divorced?