Ok.. about a month ago I finally met this girl I been talking to for about a year.. but, we both were in a relationship, we hit it off right away and now I really like her and she says she really likes me we want to be with each other.. we agreed to finish with our other half's.. so I did and now she says she is worried about ending it with her 2 year boyfriend but she doesn't know why she's worried?. though she says she doesn't love him.. any ideas on what I should do or what she could be worried about? And no one knows about us apart from her mum and sister who both think it's a good idea to get with me

I'd say you've been given the 'bait and switch'. You thought you were getting a new girlfriend, and she decided to stick to the old one.

I would say that if she was unable to follow through with the plan, you are not in the picture. She is still with her boyfriend, and you have been given a false promise.

This isn't so much 'her' problem as you suggest, but your problem, as you bought into a future with someone who ultimately decided not to have a future with you.

I would say let her go, stop seeing her on the side, and move on with your life. Find someone who is available, or single and not in a relationship.

Good answer.. think she just worried about what he will do or he's reaction, because he treats her like and before now has thrown a glass bottle at her which busted her eye, think I will giv it a few days.. if not I'll do as you suggest :)

Since she seems to want to stay in a relationship that's abusive, that's an indicator that she's not emotionally healthy. That said, you're better off without her. I just hope you didn't ruin a perfectly good relationship for yourself on her account. It almost sounds like she manipulated you into dumping your current girlfriend for absolutely nothing. In the future you should make your own decisions and control your own situations rather than letting someone else decide for you.

S cianci.. thanks for your answer but it real isn't how you make it sound there.. it was my decition anyway no one else's.. she is emotionly healthy just to nice to dump her boyfriend lol.. jake 2008, what do you think ?

Harshness Alert!
Fact-You were going behind your partners back to explore more than a friendship with another female. That makes you a lying cheater.

Fact- When it looked good with her you dumped your partner. That makes you an uncaring lying cheater.

Fact-She wasn't ready to dump hers and she didn't, that makes her a liar.

Fact- She says she is in an abusive relationship, that makes her emotionally unhealthy because she stays, IF SHE IS TELLING THE TRUTH, as she has already lied.

Fact-She knows you an uncaring lying cheater so why should she take a chance on you?

Did I miss anything here?? Oh, she cheats on her boyfriend with you but doesn't leave him.

Your probably going to go back to the female you cheated on, and dumped, and beg her forgiveness. Hope she tells you to get screwed.

PLEASE NOTE- YOU DON'T HAVE TO JUST HAVE SEX WITH SOMEONE, OTHER THAN YOUR PARTNER, TO BE A CHEATER.

You probably broke your girlfriend's heart thinking that the grass was greener on the other side.

You reap what you sow.( you get what you deserve)

No matter how wonderful her family thinks you are, she is with someone else.

Does her family know the WHOLE story? That you are a cheater? I'm sorry, if the shoe fits...


If someone will cheat WITH you, they will cheat ON you.

Haha go mad on you answers.. no we haven't cheated lol.. not even kissed.. and I wernt happy in my relationship anyway so the grass is greener if or if not this cituation works out lol

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Originally Posted by denisoner

haha go mad on ya answers.. no we havnt cheated lol.. not even kissed.. and i wernt happy in my relationship anyway so the grass is greener if or if not this cituation works out lol

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How old are you?

"wernt"? "cituation"?

You plotted to leave your boyfriend/girlfriend, that's cheating all the same.

Sorry, no she is not emotionly healthy if she is staying with someone that was phsycially abusive, she shows from your "little" info, all the standard sings of accepting the abuse and feeling perhaps that she may even deserve it.

Next they often go back 3 or 4 times before they may finally leave, but often they will end back up with another abusive person.

It is possible that she sees you as a person who can 'rescue' her, and provide a stable, safe and loving relationship.

Something to consider is that abusive relationships involve two people. Her and her boyfriend are both involved in 'the dance', that ultimately leads to abuse. The cycle is never broken, problems are never resolved, and it becomes 'normal' to them.

Until somebody else comes along that seems like a saint, in comparison. That might be you.

Should you both find yourselves single at the same time, please give it time. You are not yet over your ex girlfriend, and it will take time for all concerned to work through the whole process. That is important, and without taking the time to figure out and work through emotions about the loss of a partner, you are not as strong or independent as you need to be to build a good relationship.

That this girl in particular may be able to get out of an abusive relationship, in no way means that she is ready to jump into another one immediately after.