I'm 21 and I have been married for 3 years now. First of all, I've never had an orgasm. My husband will get me to the point where I feel it coming, but then it stops right there. I've tried masterbating, even vibrators and its all the same. It starts to get intense but it doesn't get past that. My husband does everything I ask him to, and it feels great but still nothing. I've been wondering if it's something that's wrong with my body until a couple weeks ago. I was really drunk one night and ended up cheated on my husband. Those of you who want to judge, go ahead. That's not what I care about. He forgave me and we're still together. But that night I had an orgasm. The guy did everything and ate me out a couple times while having sex. That's one thing though, my husband won't eat me out if we already started doing it because it's "gross." Does being drunk have anything to do with it? I thought that since I was able to finally have an orgasm it would be easier now to have one. But I haven't been able to have one since that night. After we got back together, we went out drinking and had sex afterwards and it felt great (probably the best I've had with my husband) but still nothing. It seems as though when I drink, I'm closer to having one. I hope that's just my mind because I don't want to have to rely on alcohol to have an orgasm...

I think you're fine... I think it's the "eating out" part that's making you orgasm. I don't think it's about being drunk, I think it's about oral sex. Why won't your husband do it? Do you give him oral? For some women, it's the absolute best guaranteed way to come. If your husband can't do this for you, maybe you should reconsider this relationship. Good luck...

You don't need to reconsider your relationship because lack of oral sex. I know he has hangups, but you do as well. A little look into your past relationships as well as your need for alcohol to improve your sex like would likely help all those involved

It sounds more mental than physical.

Another factor in your affair was the taboo nature of that one night stand. For some people the fear of doing something they know (even subconsciously) is wrong or getting caught can be a huge turn on. It can also be the thought of doing something 'dirty'. The oral sex was a matter of him doing something that you have come to think of as 'dirty'.

It sounds like you need more mental stimulation than you have been given. Try some role playing and allow yourself to get into it and see what that does for you. Share fantasies with your husband. Don't focus on trying to achieve the orgasm. Focus on the play and sensations.

Imagination is one of the most powerful aphrodisiacs and sex aids.

I'd talk with hubs and ask him why he thinks oral is "gross". Maybe you can slowly train him into it... take a bath right before sex, use flavored oils if it will help, etc. You know from your fling that you can orgasm through oral. If he refuses to do this, try stimulating your clitoris while he is inside of you.

Still, oral sex is one of those things that generally comes with the whole relationship package. Your sexuality is every bit as important as your husband's. You are so young and it would be awful to spend your life in a relationship where you can never "get off". If he won't work with you, try counseling. If that doesn't work, I still stand behind my first post. Good luck, and keep us posted...

Gee... 3 years into a marriage and YOU are cheating already... wonderful.

Doesn't matter if you were drunk... stoned or what. You should have had the maturity to avoid that situation.

Gee... the dream wife. :rolleyes:

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Originally Posted by aa627

I'm 21 and I have been married for 3 years now. First of all, I've never had an orgasm. My husband will get me to the point where I feel it coming, but then it stops right there. I've tried masterbating, even vibrators and its all the same. It starts to get intense but it doesn't get past that. My husband does everything I ask him to, and it feels great but still nothing. I've been wondering if it's something thats wrong with my body until a couple weeks ago. I was really drunk one night and ended up cheated on my husband. Those of you who want to judge, go ahead. Thats not what I care about. He forgave me and we're still together. But that night I had an orgasm. The guy did everything and ate me out a couple times while having sex. Thats one thing though, my husband won't eat me out if we already started doing it because it's "gross." Does being drunk have anything to do with it? I thought that since I was able to finally have an orgasm it would be easier now to have one. But I haven't been able to have one since that night. After we got back together, we went out drinking and had sex afterwards and it felt great (probably the best I've had with my husband) but still nothing. It seems as though when I drink, I'm closer to having one. I hope that's just my mind because I don't want to have to rely on alcohol to have an orgasm...

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Did you know:
•research shows that even after a few drinks sexual response is reduced.
•In large amounts alcohol makes sex difficult to impossible. While in moderate amounts alcohol can have an impact on engaging in risky sexual behavior, although this impact is not fully understood.
•As drinking increases both men and women will experience a reduction in sexual arousal, men may have difficulty getting erections, and both men and women may have difficulty experiencing orgasm.


I think your whole oh I was drunk and I cheated is a front. I've been drunk before, I've had guys come on to me, yet I said no. Even when I was too drunk to walk straight.

I've also had drunk sex before, If you were so drunk you cheated then it would've been pretty hard for you to get an orgasm.

What you should've done is get some sex books or tapes for couples to improve your sex life-- this is what people do when they love each other.

But you got an orgasm out of it-- so that's okay, also it's okay because you were drunk and you didn't know, it's also okay because your husband is still with you.

I don't see this marriage surviving, not only because of this but because of your age.

Marriage at 21 is kind of nuts.

Well go to couples counseling, you can't just put this under the rug.

Sarah

"I was really drunk one night and ended up cheated on my husband. Those of you who want to judge, go ahead. Thats not what I care about. "


WOW.

Is the first time you've cheated? Because it sounds like, to you, it's really no big deal.

Does your husband know that you orgasmed with this other guy?

Do you care if your husband has sex with another woman?

Ha ha ha. This conversation is over!

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Originally Posted by Buck2000

Ha ha ha. This conversation is over!

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??

I have a serious issue that you can't do it with sex toys or masterbating, If you can't find the spot on yourself, how can you show someone else.

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Originally Posted by Buck2000

Ha ha ha. This conversation is over!

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Great contribution to the discussion.

NOT!

You do know that this is the ADULT sexuality board, not the "I'm a bored teen" board, right?

You're marriage is never going to survive if your attitude is "oh well, he forgave me so that makes it not bad." Or "I was drunk so it didn't matter." Grow up and realize that life is not stupid high school mistakes and Saturday nights anymore. This is marriage. Grow up, act and think like an adult. Once you start learning how to make adult decision then you will no longer have to deal with situations like these. By that time it is my assessment that your marriage will be over anyway.

Oh yeah, and the orgasm might not be reachable with your husband's penis. Maybe it just can't get to the spot it needs to get to.

Your entire problem is based on 2 things:

1. You can't relax enough to give YOURSELF an orgasm.
2. You don't seem to think that cheating on your husband is a big deal.

BOTH of these things point to a lack of maturity.