I'm a 24 yr old guy, working as a shopkeeper. I had never been in a relationship god knows why? I mean I'm well educated, avg looking, financially sound but still I don't have a single girl in my life. I had some school friends but now all the communication has gone. Simply saying, nowadays, my life is shop to home & home to shop 7 days a week(no holiday). There is nobody with whom I can share something. My interest in shop & life is decreasing. I feel so low that sometimes I feel I'm useless or my life is useless. Can you help me to sort out things..

Hi, S_R_B!

Okay, well you've got a job. A lot of people wish that they even had a job! So, you're having a job is a good start and foundation for you!

What sort of things do you like to do beyond what you do at your job, please?

Thanks!

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Originally Posted by Clough

Hi, S_R_B!

Okay, well you've got a job. A lot of people wish that they even had a job! So, you're having a job is a good start and foundation for you!

What sort of things do you like to do beyond what you do at your job, please?

Thanks!

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I want to know what should I do to break this monotony. I mean there are lots of things I want to share with someone, but there is nobody. For the past 5 yrs, there is nothing new in my life(except I loose friends). I don't like to go to shop & home, both places bite me. I can't go anywhere else, as the responsibility of the shop

Is on me. I don't hv time to go some place where I can make some friends(no holiday), also now I find difficult to talk to strangers as I had not for almost 5 yrs. I don't what to do & more importantly how to do? Can you help me please..

I want to know what should I do to break this monotony. I mean there are lots of things I want to share with someone, but there is nobody. For the past 5 yrs, there is nothing new in my life(except I loose friends). I don't like to go to shop & home, both places bite me. I can't go anywhere else, as the responsibility of the shop
Is on me. I don't hv time to go some place where I can make some friends(no holiday), also now I find difficult to talk to strangers as I had not for almost 5 yrs. I don't what to do & more importantly how to do? Can you help me please..

If your stuck for time and don't have time for a hobbie,there is always question and answer forums,where you can share your knowledge and life experience,build up your confidence and become part of a community.

I'm a 24 yrs old guy, well educated,well built, avg looking, financially sound, can talk, have humour sense, etc.

From childhood, I know about love, I mean boy & girl, loving, hugging, kissing etc.. From then till now I starve for one just one girl in my life who can be my soul, who loves me, care for me, get tensed when I'm in trouble & be my support in adverse situations. I also want to be same for her.
But.
BUT!
It never happened even a bit.. I mean I hv a lot friends (girls) in school & college but not even a single one ever reach to first step.. they call me for a purpose or sometimes for fun but never like one who is attracted to me. Or I could say I'm never able to attract any girl.:-(
I don't know what's wrong with me.. I mean stupid guys also got someone, but don't know why no girl find me attractive..
I thought that I was not good looking but some real friends told me thateverything is fine.
Now can you pleease tell me
What's THE PROBLEM..
I will be greatfull to u..

I don't know what the problem is - if there is a problem. Maybe you just haven't met the right girl.

My other thought is that maybe you are simply trying too hard.

I have a lot of male friends. I've dated some. Others are platonic. (I work in a male-dominated business, by the way.) I have never sought out a "partner," it just happened.

OK, I got a bit. But I had been waiting for a girlfriend from almost 14 yrs..
Secondly, I had proposed a girl around 8 yrs back. I wrote a letter to her saying that if you accept then keep that letter in your bag, if not leave it there, & if you want to talk, then wait 5 min. for me I will come to you( I was hiding behind her). She stand there for 5 min.( but I'm such dud that I didn't go to her, just watched her), then she wrote that its exam time & also she think that she should concentrate on her studies. My heart just broke there. After that I called her but she refused to talk to me. don't know why.. if she doesn't liked me then why did she stand there 5 min. for me?
After that incident I was never able to even like any girl in that way, proposing is a far thing!
But I don't know why, any girl didn't looked at me in that manner, as she liked me. is I'm that bad. I think I hv everything but suddenly I feel I hv nothing because nobody likes me. I don't know where is the problem?

I also agree with Judy. Maybe you have not met the right girl. Maybe your approach is not right (maybe it is the girls that you are attracted to.)

Girls have a tendency to "read" guys from a mile off. If they feel that the guy that is approaching them has "the look" of I want a meaningful relationship and I want it now. It is a big turn off. The entire courtship should have a beginning, middle, and an end. You probably know this, but I have listed a few things to keep in mind.

The beginning should be about getting to know a person (hanging out, friendships, plain/honest talking) in order to determine if this is someone that you want to know more. No pressure should be involved.

The middle is about mutual attraction based on what you have learned in the beginning steps. Even in this step, you do not "push" the relationship but let it happen. During this step, if one pushes the relationship at a faster pace, it stands a good chance of failing. Deeper relationships take time to develop and ripen. This should be a time of "what is this person all about," "are we compatible," "can I see myself with this person forever."

The end step is the mature step; when you both have determined that you are ready for something deeper. You both have grown in the relationship; you understand each other to a certain degree; love has blossomed to its fullest and you are now ready for the final commitment.

There is nothing wrong with reading material about dating. You can find out a lot about yourself and how you can change, if there is a problem. Here is a recommended book:What Women Wish You Knew about Dating: A Single Guy's Guide to Romantic Relationships (Paperback)by Stephen Simpson At least you will be well informed. Also, maybe you are checking out the wrong type of girls. Do you go to church, the gym, neighborhood games.

Keep your field open. Maybe you are overlooking what is right under your nose.

I'm sensing that you exude quiet desperation.

If you have plenty of friends that are girls then you will know that they hate guys that are desperate. If you think of yourself as a loser, because you don't have a GF, then they will pick this up and think the same thing.

Proposing to girls you hardly know is not going to win you any friends, particularly girlfriends!

Treating girls like people not like potential girlfriends is the first step to success. Be interested in who they are, not in what they can offer you. Go out with groups of friends, go to parties, mix with everyone so that you can begin to feel more confident in the company of women.

Focus on making friends and getting to know people rather than finding your soul mate. Enjoy your life and develop interests and hobbies. Look for work that satisfies and stimulates you.

Once you take the focus off how desperate you are to find a mate you'll most likely meet people, including women, that you really like.

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Originally Posted by S_R_B

ok, i got a bit. but i had been waiting for a girlfriend from almost 14 yrs..!
secondly, i had proposed a girl around 8 yrs back. i wrote a letter to her saying that if u accept then keep that letter in ur bag, if not leave it there, & if u want to talk, then wait 5 min. for me i will come to you( i was hiding behind her). she stand there for 5 min.( but i m such dud that i didn't go to her, just watched her), then she wrote that its exam time & also she think that she should concentrate on her studies. my heart just broke there. after that i called her but she refused to talk to me.! dont know why..? if she doesnt liked me then why did she stand there 5 min. for me?
after that incident i was never able to even like any girl in that way, proposing is a far thing!
but i dont know why, any girl didn't looked at me in that manner, as she liked me.? is i m that bad.? i think i hv everything but suddenly i feel i hv nothing coz nobody likes me.? i dont know where is the problem?

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You proposed when you were 16? Is that common where you are from?

The most important thing for you to do is go places and do things that you like, and you will find someone that has common interests. Maybe have a friend,or friends fix you up on a "blind date"with one of their friends.

Good luck to you.

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Originally Posted by S_R_B

secondly, i had proposed a girl around 8 yrs back. i wrote a letter to her saying that if u accept then keep that letter in ur bag, if not leave it there, & if u want to talk, then wait 5 min. for me i will come to you( i was hiding behind her). she stand there for 5 min.( but i m such dud that i didn't go to her, just watched her), then she wrote that its exam time & also she think that she should concentrate on her studies. my heart just broke there. after that i called her but she refused to talk to me.! dont know why..? if she doesnt liked me then why did she stand there 5 min. for me?
after that incident i was never able to even like any girl in that way, proposing is a far thing!

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I'm a female. I don't like "boys" who play games and that's exactly what this was - "wait 5 minutes if you care for me." Then you hid, watched her and she left after 5 minutes and you can't figure out what the problem is?

Thank you.
I really find your advice helpful.

I'm a shopkeeper, my timings are 10am to 10 pm, 7 days a week. I find my life very dull, I mean, I hv no way to enjoy my life, its so boring. No excitement. Everyday when I woke up, I feel, oh god its morning again..

One of my friend told me that you should hv 1 holiday in a week so that you hv time for yourself.

Now tell me what is the importance of a weekly off ? Is it useful for me?

I don't know it's as much having a day off as doing something on a day off.

What are your hobbies?

I realize you do not have a girlfriend. Perhaps meeting someone would be helpful for you.