Hi I am a 19 yr old and my partner and I have together for 3yrs, I know that this might sound stupid to some people as I am young but we have been trying to get pregnant now for almost a year and nothing has happened. I have read a lot of things on the internet about different methods/positions and so forth to help people get pregnant but nothing has worked. Before this I had used several forms of contraception from the age of 13 and I am scared that it has ruined my body. Also I am epileptic and I am taking tegratol 400mg a day for this, I am also scared that this could be affecting me. I know it sounds bad but every time I hear or see that someone is pregnant it just makes me angry. My partner and his family are huge they breed like rabbits and are fertile as anything and as for my side of the family it only took my mum 6/8 months to conceive for me and she wasn't even trying for my older brother as she fell pregnant on the pill I am pretty sure. PLEASE HELP ME and my partner understand and start our own family PLEASE :(

Why do you want to start having kids at the age of 19? Coming up pregnant unexpectedly at that age would be expected more than intending to have kids. If you do, be a good mother, be ready both financially and emotionally (both of you, it takes two) and good luck to you.

Do not get pregnant while you are on medication for the treatment of your epilepsy, it will cause birth defects and being pregnant takes a toll on a woman's body.

I hope your not one of those people that gets mad cause you only want people to tell you what you want to hear cause no one in here (unless its an idiot) is going to tell you how to have a baby at your age. You have plently of time to start a family. Please don't make a huge mistake.

Why do you want to get pregnant @ 19? You need to live your life for a bit then settle down. You're too young to start & handle a family @ this age.
I mean...

Do you have a steady job?
Have decent health insurance?
Vehicle to get you & the baby (speaking in future tense) to doc appointments & er visits?

You and your boyfriend need to seriously think about this.

Let me also add that it is hard being a single mother. I know your boyfriend won't leave you, he loves you.

It is easier for a man to leave if he is not married. Divorce is much harder and much more expensive than just opening the door and walking out.

I hear you "he won't leave me, he loves me." That might change after the baby is born and you are hormonal and sleep deprived and the baby gets colic and needs to go back to the doctors.

You see there is much more to having a baby than just being in love. This is something that will bond the two of you together for life.

Read all the posts about giving up parental rights... read the ones about the girl is pregnant and her boyfriend just left her...

It is time to take off the rose colored glasses and look at the real world instead of trying to have a baby at your tender age without a marriage certificate.

Couldn't spread the love but what a great honest post J_9... honestly!

Definitely wait. You are only 19, you have just reached your good "partying" years. That doesn't mean necessarily actually partying, but just being on your own and being able to do pretty much what you want when you want. A child is FOREVER your responsibility. What if a friend calls you last minute and want to go out? You have to try to find a babysitter. Or you want to go shopping one afternoon but can't because your baby needs a nap. Or you have planned a vacation and your baby gets sick. These are just examples, but I think you need to being having fun and not be trying to have a baby. I don't have any children of my own yet, and sometimes the thought of a baby sounds fun. But then I go to work (I am a preschool teacher) or babysit one of the little ones for the night, and I am sure glad to go home or have them go home when I'm done. Don't get me wrong I LOVE kids, but it is a lot of responsibility I know I'm not ready for.
This is just an example but I'm sure all you moms can vouch for this. One night I babysat one of my two year old students. All evening we had fun playing, then it was time for her bath and bedtime. By the time she finally fell asleep I was exhausted, only to go back into the living room and find toys, crackers, blankets, clothes, and shoes everywhere! I just don't want to be dealing with that every night right now, and I am not much older than you.
I really hope you seriously think about your decision on this...

Every one is different, and that includes when the right time to have a baby. Some people have the need to go out and party, some to shop, some are ready to have a baby at 19 some not until their 30's you need to evaluate yourself and your situation, why do you want a baby? Do you have a job to support a Baby? A house to bring it home to? A vehical to get it around in? And a Family to Love and care for it? Have you and your boyfriend discussed stuff like how you want your Baby raised, how you will pay for all of the diapers, medication, and doctors appointments. I have seen women who have kids and never get out of the party mode because they were never aloud to just be free and then there are those who got their party mode out of the way when they were in high school and are ready to get on with their life. So I guess its just how you look at your situation, some people just mature faster than others some people are forced into growing up which just can't happen. I hear all arguments and agree I think there is a lot you have to think about,
Good luck,
Stace

My wife is epileptic and on medications as well. It is harder for epileptic women to become pregnant. Stress is a big factor as well. With you having epilepsy you should really think about getting a prescription for 5 mg of folic acid and take it daily. This should have been done even before trying to conceive. Do you see a neurologists? If you do not I would suggest you do. Folic acid is important in preventing spina bifida and other conditions and as you well know there is a risk in taking medications while your pregnant at the same time not taking the medication could have even a more severe risk. Another little tidbit, and I do not know you personally, but they do say that when the both female and male orgasm at the same time it helps carry the sperm further giving a better chanch of conceiving. Another thing to note is your blood levels whenever you do become pregnant should be monitored on a regular basis because the levels might have to be adjusted. It could take up to a year or longer for trying. Do you have regular menstrual cycle or is it irregular because many epileptics have problems with their menstrual cycle which would make it harder to predict when ovulation is to occur.

Last and not least. Even with all this information. Information overload maybe. I am sure you have investigated it. Looked at all your options as well. I think what you need to do is relax. Relaxation, is very important. Stress of any kind, even trying to hard to have a baby, might be the very thing preventing you from getting pregnant.

Try for a while more. Just let everything go. If you are still having trouble after trying for another year, then you should visit a doctor and they will check you over and do some referring to other doctors to check you and your partner out.

Best of luck to you.

Joe

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Originally Posted by michelle2

Hi I am a 19 yr old and my partner and i have together for 3yrs, i know that this might sound stupid to some people as i am young but we have been trying to get pregnant now for almost a year and nothing has happened. I have read alot of things on the internet about different methods/positions and so forth to help people get pregnant but nothing has worked. Befor this i had used several forms of contraception from the age of 13 and i am scared that it has ruined my body. Also i am epileptic and i am taking tegratol 400mg a day for this, i am also scared that this could be affecting me. i know it sounds bad but every time i hear or see that someone is pregnant it just makes me angry. My partner and his family are huge they breed like rabbits and are fertile as anything and as for my side of the family it only took my mum 6/8 months to conceive for me and she wasnt even trying for my older brother as she fell pregnant on the pill i am pretty sure. PLEASE HELP ME and my partner understand and start our own family PLEASE :(

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My mother is epileptic and she was on tegratol when she had my sister and my sister is an absolutely healthy 13 year old so don't let people scar you with the birth defect stuff!

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Originally Posted by jons_angel_2005

My mother is epileptic and she was on tegratol when she had my sister and my sister is an absolutely healthy 13 year old so don't let people scar you with the birth defect stuff!

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Well, this may be true, and that's great... but it clearly states that you should NOT take tegretol while pregnant as it COULD cause brith deffects... and any medication that states that it is a risk, should NOT be taken... just in case...

There are some cases of epilepsy that it would be dangerous not to take the medication. There is other medication with lower risks and it is important to weigh the risks of taking it to not taking it. It could be more series not taking the medication for both the mother and baby.

Joe