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-   -   Should I lay off for now? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=403330)

  • Oct 6, 2009, 03:08 PM
    jaxjaxer
    Should I lay off for now?
    There's this girl who I've been after for a month. I finally sat down with her and had a talk with her and told her how I felt. She said that she doesn't have the same feelings but that people grow on her and that I shoudn't try to get over her. She said there is a chance of this working.. but since we've only known each other a month she said we should take things slow and be friends now and see what happens later on. She seems kind of in between on her feelings for me. How do I know when to start talking about a relationship? She says anytime she isn't busy she would love to hang out with me. And she says she enjoys my company. Should I move on or should I pursue her to see where it goes? What should I do to make this work?
  • Oct 6, 2009, 04:16 PM
    rockie100

    You might be putting the cart before the horse here. The word relationship would scare her. Simply because she has already stated she doesn't have the same feelings as you. The only thing that she has oked is to be friends. She might be a busy person but most people will make time to pursue the other. Maybe you should hang back for now. There is plenty of time, why hurry.
  • Oct 6, 2009, 04:38 PM
    Fr_Chuck

    You have "known" her for a month, how about just dating for several months and see if anything grows
  • Oct 6, 2009, 04:48 PM
    jaime90

    Do what she said to do- just be friends. I don't understand your hurry. My one and only were friends for almost 3 years before we began a "relationship." We're now engaged. Look at it as building a foundation for a possible relationship. After all, isn't friendship what you want to build a relationship on- if you just feel like you're in love with your girlfriend, but you're not best friends with her- what do you have? So, start building the foundation on friendship- don't rush it. If you do rush and the mushy relationship feelings come down- you guys will have nothing to stand on- give her what she deserves- a solid relationship if that happens, and a solid guy that she can be confident in.
  • Oct 6, 2009, 05:02 PM
    jmjoseph
    Play it cool or you'll never get a chance with her. Do the things that friends do, and maybe, just maybe, she'll start to have feelings for you.

    Are you willing to do that? Most guys blow it by trying to "force" the girl into having feelings.

    How patient are you?
  • Oct 6, 2009, 05:11 PM
    itsamor

    Don't pressure or force anything on a girl, it's happened to me so many times and blown the whole friendship/s. But I guess the guys just wanted one thing. If you really like her as a person just keep hanging out and maybe test her. (sounds bad) but sometimes you got to do something to see how someone feels. For instance talk about another girl if she starts acting weird or changes the subject she probably likes you. If she wants to set you up with her then she def doesn't interested. Remember girls are very protective of what they want and very jealous..
  • Oct 6, 2009, 05:11 PM
    itsamor
    Isn't interested**
  • Oct 6, 2009, 06:05 PM
    jaxjaxer
    So should I just wait to see if she wants to hang out? Or should I continue to take the initiative and find time to spend with her? I feel like if I don't ask her to hang out she isn't going to ask me.. She already said she would love to go to a movie with me, but I need to find a time that will work for both of us. She just always seems to be busy.. I think I'll do an experiment and lay off for a few days to see how that goes..
  • Oct 6, 2009, 06:12 PM
    help_ful101

    See girls are diiferent all girls are there are abit of reasons for a lot of things... mostly because I think you rushed it or yea you grew on her quickly just don't give up and still chill and stuff use your charm she probably has a lot on her mind maybe she's scared or her ex or past love w.e it is just give her time she 'll come around
  • Oct 7, 2009, 06:30 AM
    I wish
    I know she said that she doesn't want you to give up on her, but it's a two-way street. You did your part by letting her know how you feel about her. So back off a bit to see if she wants to get to know you better. Let her make some effort by looking for you, otherwise you would end up in a one-way relationshiop.
  • Oct 7, 2009, 02:26 PM
    ItWasMe

    Would you rather have one less friend or one more ? It's simple she said she doesn't hold the same feelings for you, it's hard to hear if you really like this girl but sometimes the truth hurts.
    I would think having another friend is never a bad thing and you never know what the future holds, life has a way of surprising you. It will build you as a person and teach you that sometimes you just can't have what you want.

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