Hi there, my name is Dan and I've just rescently started searching for my grandparents because I'm interested in finding out who they were and what they were like. I already know they died and how they did and the year it happened but I'm still unable to find them or even they're orbituaries. I can't really get anymore info than that because my dad hates talking about it and gets angry when mentioned so I'm trying to work with the little bit of info I have. I know his previous name before he had it changed when he was a baby and I also know roughly were he was adopted. Any help regarding my current situation would be good.

Thank you,
Dan

How old are you? The fact that your father doesn't want to talk about it leads me to believe that you are under age.

Actually, regardless of how old you are, unless you have a medical reason to search, you owe it to your father to respect his wishes on the search.

I have ALWAYS felt that reunions after adoptions should involve the adoptee and the birthparents. Period.

While it may be interesting for you to find out information on your biological grandparents, it's obviously an open wound for your father. I can't condone a search that hurts someone else.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Synnen

Actually, regardless of how old you are, unless you have a medical reason to search, you owe it to your father to respect his wishes on the search.

I have ALWAYS felt that reunions after adoptions should involve the adoptee and the birthparents. Period.

While it may be interesting for you to find out information on your biological grandparents, it's obviously an open wound for your father. I can't condone a search that hurts someone else.

---

Well the fact is I am not under age but there would be no reunion because I know that both of them died when he was a baby, I would just like to find out who they were and what they were like because I feel like I'm missing something.

Without your father's cooperation, you're not going to get very far without spending a lot of money.

If you had grandparents that loved you, regardless whether they were related biologically or not, then you're not missing out on anything.

Your best bet would be to hire a private detective, but that's going to get pretty expensive pretty fast. Adoption records in the time of your father's adoption were sealed, and getting them UN-sealed is next to impossible.

You can try internet searches with what you know about them, but I'm guessing you've already tried that.

Yeah... I would like to know my lineage. I am far from being a minor (!) and my father has shown no interest, unfortunately. Both of my parents were adopted. I really didn't know THEIR adoptive parents due to THEIR already advanced age when my parents were adopted. (Hows that!) and I really would like to know more about my own ethnic background. I have also one grown daughter who is interested, and a younger one now! The mystery is consuming at times...

You know I as many many adopted people, merely feel the parents who raised them are their real parents, and the couple who had sex to make a baby have little claim to be called parents since they are not the ones sitting up late at night with a sick child, or there for a cut or for granduation and more.

My parents were German, so as far as I am concerned ( and proud of it) I am German,