My boyfriend suffers from depression: how do I not feel personally attacked?
My BF and I have a great relationship, but every couple of months he begins
To show signs that he is going to go through a depressive period. This usually occurs
When he is under a lot of stress or he has had lack of sleep or he has had a night out and drunk too much. When he gets depressed he is very quiet and serious, he sleeps a lot and everything is a huge effort for him. I try and help him as much as I can, but it really hurts me because I feel like I'm not getting what I want out of the relationship (at this time) and then I feel guilty because I feel I'm being selfish- I need to consider his needs. I start to doubt myself and our relationship- does he still love me? Am I the reason he's down? Does he not find me attractive anymore? It is incredibly emotionally draining on me as I am constantly worrying about him and want him to be OK, want us to be happy and normal again. When he is depressed he isn't as affectionate to me as he usually is and I find it really hard as I'm someone who loves to be held and cuddeled all the time! I don't want to keep complaining to him and I don't want him to feel inadequate because I love him and I know he has a disease, its just hard! Its really waring on my patience. He is starting up his own business at the moment and I try and help, but he is very short with me and I can't help but feel personally attacked. When I approach him about how I feel, I come across selfish and needy- I JUST WANT TO FEEL CONFIDENT AND CONTENT IN THE RELATIONSHIP EVEN WHEN HE DOES HAVE DEPRESSION! I don't want HIS depression to affect us both to the degree it is now, it isn't healthy for our relationship. How do I help him and how do I help myself?