Im gay and In a relationship with a possible divorce guy, How do I need to proceed?
This is very complicated situation. PLEASE DO NOT BE JUDGEMENTAL. Im gay and not out, 30 yo. I met a guy 4 months ago where I didn't know he was married after the second time we see each other and he told me he was. I kept seeing him after that. With him things were odd since he always was telling me how great I was and that he could kiss me forever. He always smiling and happy. But my problem started when I started devoloping feelings for him I knew I had to remove them from me because it wasn't right. So we kept seeing each other and the problem got bigger when he was actually falling in love with me since we met which I didn't know until then; like maybe couple of moths later. So it got to the point that he was constantly calling me and wanted me to see him almost everyday. He is 25 and married, religious and his fam treat him like a little kid. His mother constantly calls him to check on him. He is bipolar with squizo issues as well. He is a good person overall with flaws like anybody else. I care for him a lot. Things got out of control when his mother started realizing what was going on. Oh and by the way he wanted me to introduce me to his wife that way he could come to my place without them asking him where he was going with. Eventually met his mother. I know very extreme. He were playing board games and all that. He was happy doing that for some reason where I was unfortable but I did it anyway.
Eventually in one week everything changed. He came out to his uncle that is gay as well then he told his father that is divorced from his mother long time ago.
Since he is very close to his fam and worked at the same place his brother works he started telling his brother since he is his best friend that he was dating a girl and he was very in love with her. His brother conmdended it of course. Even when he knows that his brother cheated on his wife several times before. They are on a religion called Church of Christ or something like that.
Well he was feeling very bad one day and he asked me if we could move to another state I was like we need to think things through first.
I told him that I would see him at my house.
That night he basically came out to his wife and mother and the rest of the fam found out immediately. It was a emotional rollercoaster that night. It was horrible. He was doing okay for 3 days but I guess thinking of everything was hard for him. Especially his entire fam sending him emails saying that he was going to hell and that they wouldn't accept him like that. I really love him and he feels the same way about me but I feel terrible for his wife. Although I wasn't the only guy he messed with and not like that makes it better in any way.
The problem came after 4 days later when he almost committed suicice and he ended up in a psychiatric hospital. I felt horrible knowing what he tried to do. He was there for about 3 days; he called me constantly and I was in contact with him. By the way I need to mentioned that I put him on my ins as a dom partner which I heard from friends that it wasn't a good idea. After that I visiting him only in the evenings.
He said that the reason he did it was because he was hurting a lot of people and couldn't endure it anymore.
After the 4th day he got out and he found out that he wanted to be with me and that he was accepting the fact that he was gay regardless what his fam thought about it.
But of course his fam was still rejecting him. His mother kind of accept him and she accepts me as well but she still thinks that he is going to hell... I don't really understand that. I honestly do no want to be gay either but like my boyfriend, partner, whatever title fits, everything feels right and perfect with each other, it just does. Its hard to explain he says... but this Monday we went to bank to add him into my bank accts and was a very normal weekend; not fights or anything he even mentioned that I was his fam and that if his fam doesn't accept him then be it. I was surprised that he mentioned that. So this Monday after we did that he called me around 4 pm saying that he needed time. He didn't say that he took everything with him from the house he just left and gave me a call saying that. He said that his loves his fam and that he is in between them and me. So I said okay. At this point I don't know what to do... I have been waiting since Monday... and I don't know how long I should wait... texted him yesterday and he said that he was okay and that he told me that he needed time.
After this I tried to forget him but he ended up calling me after a whole week saying that he couldn't be without me and that he needed me. I was very happy but at the same time wary. I told him that I couldn't handle another situation like that. He asked me for another chance. We decided to see each other only during the nights and without his family knowing about it for the time being.
Two days ago his mother I believe was spying on him and found out that we were seeing each other. She confronted him and he got a little break down but his mother told him that she wanted to see him happy and that he needed to be completely on one side and not both.
So he is happy with me and we both have a very strong relationship as weird as that sounds. His wife for some reason called him yesterday basically asking to get back together. He doesn't want to he just feels like divorce shouldn't be a something a christian should do. Sometimes he gets confused and can't focused in the big picture. I was like do you love her? He said no not really I just think that the Bible says that God hates divorces and then I said but he doesn't like liers or cheaters and you have been doing that for the time you been married. He agreed and he knew that was wrong get back together with her. I don't want to interfere with his decisions but he knows what he needs to to I guess is just difficult for him to do all this.
Today he is going to get some therapy to learn how to handle all this.
I just don't know what I need to do at this point.