Hi,
This is my first time using this site and I am hoping you all can help. I have been in a relationship for one year and I have known Mike for almost 3 years. Mike is a single Dad of 4 (3 living at home) and I have one daughter. I have become very close to his children as he has with mine. We do not live together but do everything together-family vacations, etc. Mike has a demanding job (law enforcement). Within the first month of our relationship I became the surrogate Mom-dropping the kids off, picking them up, making dinner and other meals if needed to help Mike because I truly care and love him and his children. He would do the same if I was at work. He started working the night shift in May and things started to change-his mood, his attitude and overall outlook. I took everything in stride and have been understanding of his job. This summer my Dad (my only surviving parent) became ill and passed away-I was and am devastated. Mike did not come to the funeral because he had to work. I needed him to be there for me and he wasn't. I decided to look past it. One week ago my daughter turned 10 and I had a party for her with friends, family etc. Mike's daughters came with me to help prepare for the party. I had spoken to Mike the previous evening and asked him if he needed me to pick him up, etc. for the party as I knew he would need to sleep at some point (I suggested he sleep at my house). Mike said no I will be there. Mike never showed up or called. I had confided in my sister about how hurt I was and how I would never forget his children's birthdays, I was destroyed that he would have such disregard but nonetheless I gave him the benefit of the doubt-did he oversleep? Is he OK? I texted him the next morning and asked why he didn't come and if he was OK? Before I got a response I received a call from him saying he had overslept and truly forgot about her party. The next thing he said was that my sister called him and laid everything out for him-how he should have been there and how I would never forget something like that for his kids, he uses me for the benefit of his children, etc. I was shocked. I was upset with my sister for going behind my back but in a way she is right. We have talked but he is mad at me for "betraying" his trust and I should never confide in family or friends about our relationship-it is between us. I haven't seen him in a few days and the last contact we had was an email and he said he needs to think about if he even wants to continue the relationship anymore. I still took his children to school but have made it clear to him that if I don't have a relationship with him my relationship with his children ends as well. Do I draw a line in the sand and move on? Wait until he makes up his mind about us? I don't know what to do or think. I will be so sad-not only am I dealing with losing my Dad now I have to deal with this loss, possibly. Help!
