Hi everybody. Ummm... So this is very embarrassing for me. But, I have a problem with having an orgasm during sexual intercourse and I don't understand why. So my question is... Why can't I have an orgasm? I am losing interest in sex very quickly. A little about myself, I am a 22 year old female, not over weight, not on any medication, but I am very shy and have low confidence. Another thing... are women messier then men when the have an orgasm?

Most women do not have an orgasm during intercourse unless there has been a lot of stimulation of the clitoris.

How well do you know your body and how it works?

I am not very into learning about my body. Maybe I should be. I was wondering if its possible there is something medically wrong with me

During oral indulges, before an orgasm (or what I think is an orgasm) it feels like I'm going to urinate instead of get off. Very messy and uncomfortable. Kind of embarrassing.

I'm guessing there isn't anything wrong with you. Go to your public library and start reading/checking out books in the 612.6 area -- sex education. Get to know your body and what feels good and where. If you make an honest effort to educate yourself, I think you will be surprised at what you learn.

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Originally Posted by sweet_one

during oral indulges, before an orgasm (or what I think is an orgasm) it feels like I'm going to urinate instead of get off. very messy and uncomfortable. Kind of embarrassing.

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Is it urine -- or something else?

Have you ever brought YOURSELF to orgasm?

No one else is going to be able to do it if you can't, really.

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Originally Posted by Synnen

Have you ever brought YOURSELF to orgasm?

No one else is going to be able to do it if you can't, really.

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No I haven't

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Originally Posted by sweet_one

No I haven't

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Well there's your problem... if you do not know what makes you orgasm how can you coach your partner to give you one?

Practice masturbating alone (or with your partner whatever you like) and figure out what/how/when/where works for you

I agree that you need to get more comfortable with yourself. It also helps being comfortable with your partner. I at one time had the same problem. I have been married now for 13 years and my husband knows it isn't always easy but knows what he needs to do. You need to try different things and find out what stimulates you.