I'm in college and I feel like an outsider. I have a hard time connecting to the people around me, in more than an acquantince kind of way. I hear about all these parties that happen and I don't go to them because I don't drink and that's just not my idea of a good time. But I feel like... I should go to them because that's what people do and I don't want to be the person that ends up without a life. But I don't want to go to them. It's a battle that I don't know what to do about. I guess I just need to know if there are more people than just me that feel this way about the whole college party scene and are sort of weekday loners (on the weekends, I get to see my friends and family back home).

If someone did go through this or is going through this... I just need reassurance that I'm not a loser.

Nah, you're not at all. In fact you should be commended for not being a sheep and following the crowd. At my university they had a "quiet block" in the residences for those that didn't like to party and hear others being loud at all hours. Not sure if you have that sort of thing where you are.

Focus on getting a great education but also keep your eyes open to new socialization opportunities - being a recluse will take away a little from the college experience.

Good luck!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by scotchtape

I'm in college and I feel like an outsider. I have a hard time connecting to the people around me, in more than an acquantince kind of way. I hear about all these parties that happen and I don't go to them because I don't drink and that's just not my idea of a good time. But I feel like...I should go to them because that's what people do and I don't want to be the person that ends up without a life. But I don't want to go to them. It's a battle that I don't know what to do about. I guess I just need to know if there are more people than just me that feel this way about the whole college party scene and are sort of weekday loners (on the weekends, I get to see my friends and family back home).

If someone did go through this or is going through this...I just need reassurance that I'm not a loser.

---

I hope it all works out for you

You want to meet people... volunteer... you will meet interesting people with important issues... college is a great place to meet people with special directions...

Well I tell you what, its pretty dern refreshing to see college folk NOT falling into the "AROOGAH! GET DRUNK AND GET LAAAAAAAAAAAAID AT THE FRATHOUSE OMG!!!" stigma. No, you are definitely not a loser. By not partying you are saving the money you have, not having to remember (fearfully) what you did on previous nights (with who and what) and staying away from the peer pressure that goes on at some of those things.

Now all right, not all college parties are filled with drunkards and such (eyeroll, hehe) but you choose to be who YOU want to be; going to parties or doing what everyone else is doing doesn't and shouldn't define you. You define who you are, not a cup filled with 13 different liquors.

Check out the campus and look for weeknight activities that don't involve a beer bong or kegs. Oh, if anyone happens to have a problem with your preference of activities, they are lame.

I have to say GOOD FOR YOU!!

Other "kids" could take a great lesson from you.

You are definitely not a loser. In the end you will be the winner. You will be the one with a golden reputation, the one with a good head on her shoulders, the one who will get ahead in life!!

I wish there were more young people like you around!

I would say its your life and do whatever you like... and pllllsssss don't follows others just because everyone is following... Live your life on your terms and not of others... SO ENJOY WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND BE HAPPY WITH YOUR LIFE :)

You have my respect for not following the crowd and for staying focused on why your in college. College kids go crazy because this is the first time they are away from parents and supervision and so they party their butts off. What a waste. Keep doing your own thing it shows you control your destiny. The quality of successful people.

Thank you all for your encouragement. I oftentimes feel more comfortable around people older than me because they tend not to be the crazy drunk types. I can't wait until people my age get past the point of "let's get drunk all the time!!!!" I suppose that I'm just feeling like I have no life because I spend a lot of time online, reading, and watching TV. It feels sometimes that there's no hope in the distance, though I know logically that they can't keep this lifestyle up forever, even if they wanted to - their livers wouldn't allow it!

Trust me, both my parents worked at a state college -- my mother was a professor, my father was an administrator. I've heard all the horror stories. :rolleyes:
You're definitely on the right track. You are very right in that they can't keep it up forever. It may sometimes feel like you are missing out on something now, but believe me, life will reward you in the long run, career and otherwise.
Keep up the great work. Take care. :)

Thank you very much for the reassurance. The matutity level of people that are supposed to be smart (seeing as they're in college) just astounds me. I assume that some of them came here just TO party, and aren't really concerned about those pesky class things. I'll be sure to say hi as they bag my groceries 10 years from now. Ha. I suppose I'll just have to stick it out and wait for time to change things.