I have been with my wife for 13 yrs and married for 2... the past year my wife has come involved with her ex who is the bio to my step son... she secreatly texts him all the time and even spent the night with him in a hotel... yet they both say nothing happened... they say they only talked.
Now she told me that she has thought about him sexualy and she says it is like if she seen a guy on the street and thought he was hot..
I feel that is wrong cause I wouldn't be thinking about my ex's.
She says they are just friends
I NEED SOME HELP PLEASE WHAT SHOULD I DO:(

You are right, this is unacceptable. There is no way I would be letting my husband hang out "Casually" with his ex. I know they have a son and they should communicate but that should be the end of it. I would not feel comfortable with my husband being best buds with someone he has been physically romantic with.

I am sure other people will say otherwise that is just my opinion.

I would if I were you tell her that this is not what you want in a relationship and if she has a problem with her cutting cords with here ex then backing up her husband which she is supposed to be doing then a would highly consider rethinking the way the marriage has progressed and your relationship with her.

To me it feels as if she is cheating, no one should be staying in a hotel with another man when you are married, NO EXCEPTIONS!!

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Originally Posted by frostedheart

she secreatly texts him all the time and even spent the night with him in a hotel...yet they both say nothing happened...they say they only talked.

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So, she has sexual feelings towards him. She secretly texts him. They spent a night together in a hotel room, but say nothing happened. I think it's time to call her bluff.

She is being unfair to you by harboring these feelings towards her ex, and acting on them with texts and overnight trysts.

I have a hard time believe that there are no physical aspects when she's alone at the hotel with him. But let's say we believe her, she basically admitted to emotionally cheating on you.

The question isn't what should she do. She already did her part by cheating on you. Now the question is, can you still trust her? (no trust = no marriage)

Furthermore, it doesn't sound like she's willing to put the effort to repair her marriage with you. (no effort = no marriage)

Sounds like it's time to call it quits. Stop letting her mess with your mind. If she really cared about you, she would not do things that would hurt you. Clearly, her actions are hurting you and it doesn't even seem like it bothers her that you're hurt.

The only feeling she might have is guilt. Her own personal guilt for making you feel bad. But guilt isn't going to repair a marriage. It takes hard work and trust on both ends.

You better take a stronger stance in defining what is reasonable, and acceptable, and be prepared to back up anything you say.

Does he get his son, and if not, where has he been the past 13 years? How long has this been going on?