Ask Me Help Desk - The No contact Rule/Special Case

Ok. Here is my story. He went on a cruise the 14th of this month and he hasn't called yet. He is 49 years old and Im younger. He called up until the 9th. Everything was fine until that point. He Called everyday. We Went on dates regularly. This has been an established relationship for a year and a half now. He promised to call everyday and even post some pics online for me while he was on the cruise. Nada. Zilch. I called on the 21st of this month (sept) and broke it off with him or should I say I spoke to his voicemail. I knew he was home because I found out from his nephew by the 22nd that he had been home. Do you think he will call by his birthday which is October the 12th?
He has done this before but it wasn't for this long. I will use the no contact rule as a game if you will, since it looks like he is playing them to see if it is over. Sh*t is really going to hit the fan because HE Won't BE GETTING A CALL/EMAIL/SMOKE SIGNAL FROM ME ON HIS B-DAY. I mean, I'm confused.:confused: The last thing he said was "I miss you. I really want you to know that. I will call you tomorrow." Now he is gone from gods green earth. (Not really, I know he is OK, because I spoke to his nephew. I used his nephew as a lifeline to find out he had been back for a day. So boom. So, let the no contact game begin). See its fresh so Im pondering if he is going to miss me? Or call? I guess we will have to see. But I was asking you what do you think the chances of him calling are?

Hypothetically speaking, I have intiated the no contact rule to take immediate effect as a result of the no communication on his part. In this scenario, he ignored me, then I left him a message and broke it off. Who would be considered the 1st person to call or break the no contact rule in this scenario. (No, Im not calling, I am just asking) Yes I said its over, only as a result of his actions.

Its only been one week since I broke it off with his voicemail. I do have someone else new in mind, but I don't want to be too hasty and use this guy for a rebound relationship. I have a habit of moving fast. Im just saying don't want to move too fast. :p

So your using mind games on a guy you don't really want?

You broke it off?

Why would he call?

No contact is not a game,what your doing is called mind games...

You already ready have someone in the pipeline,so why even bother waiting for the other man.

How much younger are you?

Quote:

Originally Posted by redhed35

so your using mind games on a guy you dont really want?

you broke it off?

why would he call?

no contact is not a game,what your doing is called mind games...

you already ready have someone in the pipeline,so why even bother waiting for the other man.

how much younger are you?

No. Im saying the reason why I broke it off was because he didn't call. Like a cause and effect scenario. Im saying that I don't want to use the new guy as a rebound.

So the question here is what we think the chances of him calling you are?

Honestly, I would not bother yourself with dwelling on this question. What kind of man, after a year and a half of dating, goes MIA and stops talking to you for weeks at a time? He doesn't seem to be a man worth wasting another second on.

And you say you don't want to use the new guy as a rebound. Well, don't. Don't date him yet. If you are concerned that he may be a rebound, take a little time off from dating. You don't always have to be in a relationship.

Sounds like you're doing all of this out of spite and pride. Meanwhile, it sounds like he just doesn't care. The tone of your post suggests that you've concocted your defense mechanisms to ensure that you aren't the one who's being dumped and that you "win" the breakup. Meanwhile, it sounds like he just doesn't care. I suggest you just forget about it and stop keeping score because he just doesn't seem to care.

Why do you care if he calls or not? You obviously don't really like/love him if you already have a prospective guy lined up, so just go with the new one. Sounds like the two of you just didn't care in the first place. If you have a habit of moving fast from and into relationships then the new guy won't be a rebound. Serial monogamists don't have rebounds.

You broke up with him, if he calls then he's a fool.

Give yourself some time and space, be on your own for a while. There's no hurry, love will wait, if it's love.

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaffected

So the question here is what we think the chances of him calling you are?

Honestly, I would not bother yourself with dwelling on this question. What kind of man, after a year and a half of dating, goes MIA and stops talking to you for weeks at a time? He doesn't seem to be a man worth wasting another second on.

And you say you don't want to use the new guy as a rebound. Well, don't. Don't date him yet. If you are concerned that he may be a rebound, take a little time off from dating. You don't always have to be in a relationship.

Thank You. It looks like you READ the entire post:)

This makes the most sense. I got the idea. Run like hell if he calls back and don't stress it if he doesn't. :p

Thank YOU!:D

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bunny D

Thank You. It looks like you READ the entire post:)

This makes the most sense. I got the idea. Run like hell if he calls back and dont stress it if he doesnt. :p

Thank YOU!:D

We all read the whole post.

This is what you wanted to hear, which is why it makes the most sense to you.

It happens all the time. Most people posting about relationship problems don't come
Here for advice, they come her for confirmation.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

We all read the whole post.

This is what you wanted to hear, which is why it makes the most sense to you.

It happens all the time. Most people posting about relationship problems don't come
here for advice, they come her for confirmation.

I asked more than one question in my post. Only 2 answers made the most sense. Not exactly what I wanted to hear. The one I responded to and the one that mentioned something about me building up my defense mechanisms and so forth and so on in that particular post. Those were the most accurate. If I didn't want advice, I would not have posted. I don't need confirmation for anything. But for what your two cents in my situation is worth, thank YOU nonetheless:)

:)