My husband doesn't want to go after his ex for child support. Can I go after her as the step parent who has been caring for the children for almost five years? The biological mother hasn't seen or talked to the children for about four years now.

In sme states you can seek damages against the NCP for contributions made on their behalf ( when they didn't pay ) but if there is no support order then your out of luck because there isn't an established order in place.

Is there a reason he doesn't want to go after her for child support ?

He doesn't want the hassle of it but in the meantime, we are struggling! Yeah, they never went to court to get the custody of the kids dealt with, he took it upon himself and told her to get lost basically... she did just that. I married him without really knowing the situation but now I am not happy with the unresponsibility he is doing in not getting some support from her financially.

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Originally Posted by caustin

He doesnt want the hassle of it but in the meantime, we are struggling! Yeah, they never went to court to get the custody of the kids dealt with, he took it upon himself and told her to get lost basically...she did just that. I married him without really knowing the situation but now I am not happy with the unresponsibility he is doing in not getting some support from her financially.

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So long as the children are under 18 ( 21 in some states ) its not to late to apply for it and most courts will help you with it through state child support collection agencies. The problem he faces isif he has never modified custody that will work against him till he does. The law has to follow the last orders of the courts so if the NCP can still show papers from the court granting them full custody or some other arrangement then they could come knocking any time and take the kids with the law on their side.

He needs to protect both himself and the children's interest. HAving a support order in place doesn't mean he will receive support but its best to have one in place.

Yeah, I agree. She could just come and take them and we couldn't do anything about it, right? Can we get custody of them without having to pay?

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Originally Posted by caustin

Yeah, I agree. She could just come and take them and we couldnt do anything about it, right? Can we get custody of them without having to pay?

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Mostly it depends on your court system. Some have sliding scales for court fees but it wouldn't hurt to ask. Some courts allow for reduced or no fees depending on the situation. And also its something he may be able to do himself or with a little aid from a paralegal to file the right papers.