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-   -   He won't talk to me. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=399456)

  • Sep 24, 2009, 09:22 AM
    erin0991
    He won't talk to me.
    We've been datin for months, everything used to be great, now the new has worn off, and a lot has changed, he's not affectionate, and I've tried to talk to him about everything that I feel is wrong, and he acts like he wants to laugh about it and says I'm over thinking things, we live together, and we've separated into diff houses twice now, I love him with all my heart, and he says he loves me to, but I don't know what to do, he says he doesn't have any problems, but what about me? He also said he doesn't really know himself because he's never dated ths long before, what does that mean to me?:confused:
  • Sep 24, 2009, 09:25 AM
    tickle

    He is too immature to handle the situation erin. You would like open dialogue but he doesn't know how to even do that, can't express himself properly. You are going to be beating your head against a wall trying to figure him out. I don't know if you want to waste your time even though you know how you feel about him.

    What it means to you, well, like I said, how much time do you want to give this relationship with immaturity?

    Ms tick
  • Sep 24, 2009, 09:40 AM
    desertstar36

    My husband and I have problems too. He always says "I think things are fine". I believe in his mind they are. So I guess If things aren't fine to you(or me) then it is us that need to make the changes we need to make things OK again.
  • Sep 24, 2009, 11:27 AM
    jaime90

    It seems like this guy is telling you, "I love you, you know that, and I've lived with you, but I won't go any farther, and you should be happy with that." I'm not talking farther physically. A relationship has to work both ways, and it involves becoming a "student of your partner." You know, learning as much as you can about each other. That's why older couples get worn out and bored of each other- they aren't trying to discover new things about their spouse. I would suggest learning your love languages and putting them into action... Both ways! This guys is clearly immature (as said before) and isn't taking your relationship seriously. I think the two of you jumped into this way too soon if you've only been dating for MONTHS. Learn about each other, and then see if it'll work out. After all, if you're both not in this for life- one of you will leave, plain and simple- there is no other option. Either marriage, or a break-up. Relationships take work, I suggest you both get on it.
  • Sep 24, 2009, 11:36 AM
    I wish

    You really need to sit him down and have a talk with him. Communication is key. However, it's also the manner in which you present your thoughts. So when you discuss these issues with him, make sure you explain your concerns clearly and express your suggestions. If he's never been in a relationship for so long, he might need some relationship guidance.
  • Sep 24, 2009, 11:44 AM
    jaime90

    I wish is right. If you do sit down and talk, don't raise your voice, don't put up your defenses, repeat what the other person says, and say things as clearly as possible so there's no confusion.
  • Sep 24, 2009, 02:59 PM
    erin0991
    Listen to what I'm saying
    I have tried to sit him down to talk, he sits there and smiles like he thinks this is funny, but to me these things are important, we had problems before and he said he need to work more as a team, but it seems I'm doing everything, I told him that I feel that way, and he says nothing, like he thinks all I want to do is make him feel bad but that is absolutely not what I'm tryn to do, I want him to express himself and talk with me, he says everything is fine with him, but its not me, but he acts like he doesn't care if I'm having problems.
  • Sep 24, 2009, 04:15 PM
    troy70

    Sounds like a real winner. Move on, find someone more mature and on your level.
  • Sep 24, 2009, 04:37 PM
    Justwantfair
    Threads merged

    Please post your responses onto your original thread.
  • Sep 25, 2009, 10:06 AM
    jaime90

    He doesn't respect you. You definitely deserve more than this. You don't want to have to deal with this in a marriage.

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