I an a gay man who has been in a relationship for six years, even though I love my boyfriend and things go very well between us I have falling in love with a straight married man for the last year. I have not had any sexual relationship with this man, we know each other professionally and we know about each other private life. I know that I should stop this but I am finding it very hard and feel reslly down at times. I have recently left my job to help me to forget about him but it does not help, even though I feel I have made small progress.

I'm sure that you understand the concept of "Married = off limits"

If you are happy with your current boyfriend, don't mess things up for a straight married man.

It will not turn out well. Obviously the fact that he is straight is another issue. He won't return your feelings toward him.

I think the best thing that you can do is just DO NOT contact him. There's a sticky in the relationships forum that you can read to help you.

It's going to take time, just keep being strong about it.

You have a boyfriend who loves you. Think about that every time you start to think about this other man. It should help.

Good luck.

Pursuing this can only lead to heartbreak and sadness.

He is married. He is straight.
You are in a relationship. You are gay.

Do the numbers, they don't add up.

Sometime we can't help how we feel, but this sounds like a lose/lose situation.

You have done the right thing by leaving your work (I assume you worked with the married man). I would suggest you no longer contact him or see him. What's the point if it only makes you miserable?

I would also suggest that you focus on making things better closer to home. Clearly there is something that is making you unhappy or that is lacking in your current relationship, otherwise you would not be looking elsewhere. Focus on your relationship and decide whether you want to stay or leave.

Remember this... I've seen it time after time for decades.

Any person who will fool around on their partner to be with you...WILL fool around on you to be with yet another person.

Pick available people to play with... leave the attached people alone.

Just the fact that he's married is already a good enough reason for you to back away.

I'm glad that you decided to take some time off work to try to get over this person. It does show that you recognize that you need to get over this crush as soon as possible. So I applaud you for that.

Here are a few other suggestions to assist you:

1) Spend more time focusing on your current relationship. Use this time away from work to strengthen your current relationship.

2) When do go back to work, avoid unnecessary conversations until you've completely healed. Keep things as professional as possible. Personal conversations will add fuel to the fire.

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Originally Posted by juanmanuel

I an a gay man who has been in a relationship for six years, even though I love my boyfriend and things go very well between us I have falling in love with a straight married man for the last year. I have not had any sexual relationship with this man, we know each other professionally and we know about each other private life. I know that I should stop this but I am finding it very hard and feel reslly down at times. I have recently left my job to help me to forget about him but it does not help, even though I feel I have made small progress.

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Why are you in love with another man if you still have a boyfriend? How would your boyfriend feel about this?