Dear Friends,
Just yesterday I found out that my wife had an affair with a colleague of hers. In her email I found sexually charged messages depicting their activities. It's the absolute worst feeling to ever have, to have in a split sec the perception of all that you thought your world was change to something worse on a terrible scale. I confronted her and she "convinced" me that it was just flirting that had gone too far and I was misreading the exchanges. She told me how sorry she was and that she loved me and wanted to make things right.
Things didn't sit right with me and later on in the day I did some more research and I found that she was having an affair with this colleague. She sent emails to her friend "bragging" about the affair and how "hot" it was to have a "Lover" teaching her new tricks. To go through this a second time, I wish this not upon my worst enemy. I confronted her about this with the more damning evidence and she told me that it had been going on for a month and really has only ended because I found out.
I don't know if I can forgive this. She told me that this occurred because of the neglect and unfullfillment of the marriage. I knew things weren't perfect for us, but didn't expect this in my wildest dreams. I find myself full of anger, saddness, betrayl, guilt. Its been the most terrible rollercoaster these last few hours and I'm scared as to where it will end.
I've told her not to have any contact with this colleague. She wants to change things as I understand and work on fixing our marriage. I'm just not sure I do. I'm a very trusting person and right now that trust is shattered. I'm constantly paranoid as to what is happening at work, whether they are still meeting, if she's late is she with him? Its just eating me alive.
Please help