If my parents are paying for my wedding and I want to invite my mom's parents, who she has not spoken to in more than 20 years, and I did not grow up knowing them, to my wedding? My parents feel strongly that they are not to be invited.

That's a hard situation. It is YOUR wedding. You should be able to invite who you want, although I can understand why they may not want you to invite them. Just tell them how you feel. If it is a money thing maybe pay there way. Your wedding day is your special day so you should do what makes you happy. Just remember if there will be tension if they come, that may stress you out more.

I have to ask, if you have not grown up knowing them and you know that your mother does not want them there - why would you invite them?

I agree that inviting them will create an additional source of tension at your wedding.

It is your wedding, but I do think you would be wise to respect sensitivities. Perhaps you can visit them on your honeymoon and show them the photos or the DVD.

I know its not the same situation but I may understand why she wants them there. I did not grow up with my dad or his family but I really wanted him there for some reason. Looking back now 13 years later I wish I didn't. At the time It meant a lot to me, although no one had a problem with it so it wasn't stressful.