I am 25 and still find it hard to get rid of bad friends I know are dragging me down. As in when I'm evolving and growing in life with my relationship and my career, their jealousy gets in the way and they start playing mind games. I try to let them go by ceasing contact or telling the I have no interest. But then my friend (I only have 2 good ones) I do like will have an event on occasion to occasion that will have those few girls around that I know are bad for my health. Or I'll have my uncle on my back as to why I'm not friends with such and such, trying to join us together again even though were not compatible. Most of my friends have always been guys because they're simple, easy to talk to and do not have this emotional sensitivity that most women I know have. Plus some people start thinking my male friends are my lovers which is difficult. But I want good female friends so I can get in touch with my feminine side time to time. Where can I find them.

I moved your thread because it's more appropriate in the Personal Growth section.

Do you have any hobbies? A good way to meet new girls is to join an activity, cause in that case, you'll be sure to meet someone with something in common. For example, cooking class, art class, volunteering, etc.

The really interesting thing about the sort of people that we attract into our lives is that in some way they are reflections of ourselves.

Now, don't go getting all offended...

Perhaps you keep attracting bad girl friends because you're not able to be a good girlfriend.

Perhaps you don't actually like females as friends and you're too critical or too patronizing or lack understanding of what real friendship between women entails.

Perhaps you've not accepted your own femininity and you find it difficult to relate to women and they sense this. Let's face it, women always do.

Perhaps if you look at and connect with yourself as a woman, you may be more willing to look at and connect with other women.

True. I do feel more comfortable with men. I just find some women to be too jealous, emotional, sensitive, and all they want to do is talk about their feelings. Does this mean I'm forever going to have male friends. And I think its true I attracted these women at some stage of my life which was a reflection of who I was at that time. But now I have evolved and grown out of it and no longer want anything to do with them. You're right. Now that I have changed, hopefully I will attract the right women. Although maybe I am more like a guy and cannot handle all of the whinging and wining and drama.

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Originally Posted by nicolii

True. I do feel more comfortable with men. I just find some women to be too jealous, emotional, sensitive, and all they want to do is talk about their feelings. Does this mean im forever going to have male friends. And i think its true i attracted these women at some stage of my life which was a reflection of who i was at that time. But now i have evolved and grown out of it and no longer want anything to do with them. You're right. Now that i have changed, hopefully i will attract the right women. Although maybe i am more like a guy and cannot handle all of the whinging and wining and drama.

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I just think you're attracting the wrong sort of person - perhaps you expect women to be like this and that's what your dynamic with them creates!

Be aware that there may be some unacknowledged part of you that is jealous, emotional and sensitive. Once you acknowledge that part of you, you may attract different friendships. Otherwise your friendships will always reflect back to you what you don't acknowledge in yourself.

Relationships are a mirror.

From your posts I do detect a negative notion and negative expectations connected with females/women in general.

This might also color your view of the females/women in your life.

Of course when it comes to the girls you refer to in you OP (original post), it seems that you might have a very good reason to push them out of your life... why keep negative people in your life, who only give you negative feedback and energy? Right? So I fully back that.

As for the parties and events where you are faced with these people; I don't know how you handle this, but one way to handle this is to

1. be polite
2. you don't have to talk to them more then what's necessary.
3. spend time with people at that event (etc.) who you are more comfortable with.

As for your uncle, could you tell him to let it be? If you can't tell him this, then you have to suck it up and just ignore it. Some of the uncomfortable things in our day to day life can't be avoided... but you can let go of it

Let go of what you can't control! Bumping into these people from time to times seems to be inevitable on some level = you can't control it every time = let go of it and try and find a way to deal with it.


As for suggestions as to have you can meet new women: do you have any hobbies? Are there any classes or causes that interests you?

Hope this was of some help.

Roxy

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Originally Posted by nicolii

I am 25 and still find it hard to get rid of bad friends i know are dragging me down. As in when im evolving and growing in life with my relationship and my career, their jealousy gets in the way and they start playing mind games. I try to let them go by ceasing contact or telling the i have no interest. But then my friend (i only have 2 good ones) i do like will have an event on occasion to occasion that will have those few girls around that i know are bad for my health. Or i'll have my uncle on my back as to why im not friends with such and such, trying to join us together again even though were not compatible. Most of my friends have always been guys cos theyre simple, easy to talk to and do not have this emotional sensitivity that most women i know have. Plus some people start thinking my male friends are my lovers which is difficult. But i want good female friends so i can get in touch with my feminine side time to time. Where can i find them.

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Hello all,
I am a new member of this community . I had come across this community while looking for the answer to my questions.Well to state my problem... I have become a hapless victim of one sided love.The girl I love is already committed to someone else.I love her passionately... its been a week or so before I had proposed to her... and she rejected my proposal .she said that she is already seeing someone.My problem is that.. even though I am trying to FORGET her.. I can't do so,I really can't.. it seems impossible for me to do this!! Every time I see her online I just want to talk to her... everytime I see her before me,my heart just longs to get to her... she is seemingly concerned about my situation but she shows indifference on face.. If we come across each other then we both try to ignore each other... though my heart cries. I think I can't live without her but I also know that she is unreachable... this feeling of helplessness is just killing me... plzzz can anyone help?? I have even stopped talking to her and I am taking steps to forget her... BUT I CAN'T.. I REALLY CAN'T... wht to do plzz advice?? I am literally on the verge of breakdown... I don't want to fall in this death trap of depression... plzzz tell me how to forget her and how to tackle this situation... I don't find solace anywhere... I am even distanced from my friends and parents!! I hate this state of mine... but I just can't stop thinking about her... all my hrs of the day are preoccupied by her thoughts... and the situations get worsened if I see her... I just can't forget her... I love her sooooo very much

Hi I'm not sure about this matter however I'm in trouble with a gul

Hey it's a fact ultimately

:):):)

BECOZ this is the age to get attracted to guls... control yourself

I feel you. I had the same problema dn still do. It sucks having very insecure friends that hate your guts and are dramatic about it. I just ignore it. I can't tell you where exactly to find good female friends but all I can say is ls let them come to you. For now bare with it and just keep short with them but not in the way that will make them suspect anything. Just humor them for now. You have your 2 true friends anyway. Besides women are difficult to understand to the point that other women can't understand them either!lol

Very true sand storm. Its like as soon as there are too many friends in the group, some women seem to form sides against others to feel powerful, secure, and because they have nothing better to do. When I look back in my life, the best times were when I only had one or two friends. And that's enough. The more I have the harder it is to be there for absolutley everyone. Some people say they love having lots of friends in the same group but I've noticed those are the same people who have most problems with their friendships because there are just too many people to deal with.Thanks for your comment. Ive decided to accept and be happy with two friends.

Some people are more comfortable in groups. Some are content with a few close friends.

A friend once asked me if I rather have 1 truly best friend that I can completely trust or 10 good friends. To this day, I still can't answer that question. The point is, everyone has their own comfort zone. I think the key is to find our own comfort zones in terms of friendships.