I am seriously considering a divorce and want to tell my wife the real reason I want out. I am concerned that by telling her, it will affect the divorce and custody of our child in a negative way towards myself. We live in South Carolina and I can't find any information one way or the other. I think she will understand and accept it, but maybe not. Just in case, I want to be sure.

I am sorry that you are in this predicament. I don't think there is ever going to be an easy way to tell your wife the truth, but she deserves to know.

I hope that your wife will accept you as you are, but I suspect that it will come as a shock, unless she already suspects. Even at that, divorce under the best of circumstances, regardless of the reasons, is upsetting to everybody. This just may make the journey more difficult.

But, this is your child, and you have rights as her father, no matter where you live. Your lawyer, and her lawyer will hammer out the details of visitation and child support, and it will eventually be as routine as any divorced couple.

Being gay in itself should not be a negative factor, in getting through the process.

I don't know how old your child is, but if your child is very young, the transition will be easier.

For the legal issues you may have, and/or to set your mind at ease, why not visit a divorce attorney, and just ask him.

It will not affect the legal aspects of the divorce in any way. As a matter of fact, its not even allowed to be brought up in the divorce and custody hearings.

How it affects how hard she fights things... that can go either way... if she understands, maybe she will be more amicable.

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Originally Posted by chasguy

I am seriously considering a divorce and want to tell my wife the real reason I want out. I am concerned that by telling her, it will affect the divorce and custody of our child in a negative way towards myself. We live in South Carolina and I can't find any information one way or the other. I think she will understand and accept it, but maybe not. Just in case, I want to be sure.

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Well welcome to the club. There are probably more men out there like yourself and who have been through this than you realize.

As the others have said, being gay should have no impact on the outcome of a divorce.

Well, I think the above advice is good, but there are some realities to face as well. Discrimination based on sexual orientation has no place in the courtroom, or anywhere else for that matter.

That will not prevent it from happening. It is quite likely that the admission that you are gay won't have any impact at all legally, but seeing as how you've kept it secret this whole time, I don't think spilling the beans while you have pending legal matters to resolve isn't a good idea.

Generally speaking, if you have to ask yourself whether it's allright to mention something in regard to a court proceeding, it's probably best to keep it zipped.

Just my opinion.