My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years... he has a very bad temper and I'm not an angel either... but when we get I fights its bad... I don't know if I'm in an abusive relationship and making excuses for it... or if tis is normal somehow...
Yesterday we got in a fight.. my boyfriend doesn't have a car... he waned to go out with his friend to have a drink but I didn't want to stay at home ( because I had to give him my car)... he did have a very bad week t work... apparently whe we were aruing in the moring ( because I invited people over and I didt clean the house,, I'm kind of messy I have to admit but I don't know why it's a huge deal)... he told e either I rent a car and leave or I get your car to go out... I tought he meant with me so I was like fine just take my car... we go to ikea because he wants to buy something for the house on the way back I ask where we are going that night , he flips out says he is going by himself and how selfish I am, he calls m names and I just look ou the window trying to keep cool and avpoid a bigger fight.. we get home I lay on my bed trying to chill out... he comes and tells me if I want him out( its my apt) I say your that I would take himo his parents.. he flipped out so bad that my little puppy on himself and started running around like crazy... he didn't touch me... but he started punching the door ( now he says hell buy a new one).. I took a couple xananax and went to sleep... I don't even want to leae my bed... he is still here... I can't tell him to leave I don't know why I love him, I know I should ask him to leave but I don't know what is wrong with me!>!>!. :o

Also.. he says its my fault because I provoque him.. and that I know that I'm going to gett hat reaction.. that has happened with his exes before and he sad their were to blame... ( never touchd them.. just brocken ojbects.).. is it really my fault?

I can't really understand with your spelling and poor sentence construction but it appears to me that yes it is abusive on both fronts. You and him both have massive issues to sort out.

Leave this guy and work on becoming a better person because whilst your with him you won't and nothing will change!

You need to get away from this guy before it is you not a door.

And as a past police officer, had a neighbor called us to the house and we say damage to a door, or a wall or a broken lamp, someone is going to jail, in GA it was a law, if you are called on a domestic argurement and you see any damage to the home or to a person, the person we believe to be the aggressor has to go to jail.

This relationship is sick and dangerous and should be terminated right now. Get Professional help.

Sorry, I wasn't trying to be rude. I was telling the truth.

Maybe if you exaplined that englkish is your 6th language in your post then I would know and understand..

But in this instance I had no idea.

Sorry to have offended you.

My advice remains the same. Leave this guy. He is scum!

Yeah - leave ths guy - he seems like massive trouble for - and it's brewing to be more!

That isabuse. But you alos need help with your anger.

You need to leave as soon as you can. There are major red warning lights flashing here. I know it may be hard emotionally, but it will only get worse the longer you stay and it maybe you next time and not the door. Your dog has even noticed his dangerous behavior. Please get out of this relationship for your safety.

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Originally Posted by alfonsina7

also.. he says its my fault because i provoque him.. and that i know that im gonna gett hat reaction.. that has happened with his exes before and he sad their were to blame... ( never touchd them.. just brocken ojbects.).. is it really my fault?

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Your fault? That is what my father said every time he beat my mother. NO, he has a choice to walk away and calm down before confronting you. That is his choice not your fault.

No it's not your fault. You are in an abusive relationship. Don't ask him to leave; pack his things, throw them out in the hall and change the locks. Then go to the police and get a restraining order against him. His behavior is typical of abusers ; blaming others for their outbursts, getting in a rage over minor things (i.e. inviting friends over and not cleaning up), bullying you into giving him your car (if he works full time, why doesn't he have his own car?), the list goes on and on. He uses his temper to try and control through intimidation. Please don't put up with it any longer.

I've been with my husband for 7 years he started throwing stuff at first, then he punched holes in the walls, and then about 4 months later he started hitting me up till I was 4 months pregnant. He has broke my nose once, my finger twice, and put a lot of big bruises all over my body. After 3 years of abuse I couldn't take it anymore. I left him for 6 months until he came crawling back. I've been back with him the past 4 years and he hasn't hit me yet. So, all I can say is follow your heart and any man can try to change if they love you enough.

I agree with what everyone else is telling you - first he hits the door - second he will hit you. Just a matter of time, sooner than later most likely.
You need to leave this relationship. You also would benefit from some counseling yourself - you say you have your own issues. Two unhealthy people together make for a horrid relationship. Also when a healthy and an unhealthy person get together - it really is no better.

This is not very good for him or u. u could get seriuosly hurt and u need to get out of there. Skell is right nothing can change.. except u u aren't throughing things or pucnhing doors out. U need to make sure that he dsnt negativly effect u and leave.