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-   -   Trying to improve my social life (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=397439)

  • Sep 17, 2009, 09:15 PM
    EverybodysFool
    Trying to improve my social life
    Hey everybody,

    My problem is I have never been a really social person. I have a couple good friends and that's about it. I would like to improve my social life and I have been trying really hard. I try to talk to people more but only people I have reason to talk to like workers when I buy food and stuff. I have always been a really shy person.

    I usually wait for people to start a conversation with me but after the ice is broken, I actually talk a lot. I have problems approaching others like in class, in my building if they don't talk to me first. I don't know what my problem is. I guess I'm not that confident of a person because I shy to be around places where there is people. I've been wanting to join a school basketball team because that is my favourite sport but ill just feel weird showing up to tryouts.

    Just today, I was practicing my music and the neighbours came over and politely asked me to keep it down and I apologized and kind of closed the door. As I'm not a very experienced musician, my stuff sounds horrible and I think they heard all of it. Now its just even more awkward being in this building.

    Anyway I need help, advice and suggestion? Thanks.
  • Sep 17, 2009, 10:32 PM
    mudweiser

    Pretend your confident.

    In class, say hi to the person next to you. Start with something basic like :Nice shirt where did you get it? OR So how are you liking this class?. something easy. Let the conversation flow naturally.

    Act confident, people won't know the difference.

    Confidence is being able to say Hi without pooping your pants. Confidence is NOT being snobby. Sometimes people get that mixed up.

    Be positive, even fake it, soon enough it'll come to you. If you think positive, things will come out positive-- I can guarantee it :)

    SARAH
  • Sep 18, 2009, 06:16 AM
    kctiger

    It seems a life long mission for one to be happy in their own skin. Once you are comfortable with who you are it changes everything. I would suggest practicing everyday at talking to people. Say "Hi" to five different people a day. Don't worry about what others think of you... if you are proud of who you are then nothing else matters. Chin up man!
  • Sep 18, 2009, 06:39 AM
    I wish
    If you're the shy type of person, then it's not easy to get pushed out of your shell overnight. I suggest that you begin by reading some self-help books: The Guide to Self-Help Books – Recommended Self-Help Books - Self-Help Book Reviews

    Once you feel more comfortable with yourself, try talking more with people are you are close to, since you already have some familiarity with them.

    Once you have the habit of talking more, then it will be easier to talk when you approach new people.

    Another suggestion is to take a public speaking class.
  • Sep 27, 2009, 09:32 AM
    roxypox

    I absolutely think it's a good idea to act confident and say HI to people as a start... that way you give the impression that this is how you feel and also you start with the basic of a lot of social activity; to say Hi.

    Are you involved in any activities or have any hobbies?
  • Sep 27, 2009, 06:40 PM
    summer7

    The best is to be involved in activities that you like and feel confident doing. Then the conversations will flow and you will meet like minded people that you will connect with immediately. Clubs and groups are great. It will be easier practicing being confident when you are involved in areas you are comfortable in.
    Good luck!
  • Sep 28, 2009, 12:42 AM
    Sylvanta Sybil

    You said you play music, so I'm sure you're an artist of sorts... Join a band? Approach only the people who seem to like the same things you do (others might make fun of you, or think you're weird. Not that it should matter what they think, just don't overdo the "hi" thing if it doesn't feel natural).

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