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-   -   How do you get your 20 year old to leave home? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=397102)

  • Sep 16, 2009, 08:13 PM
    oreillyc
    How do you get your 20 year old to leave home?
    I have a 20 year old son who is very acts likes a spoiled brat, he is verbally abusive, does not work and sleeps all day onlly to stay up all night and sometimes he invites his friends into the house when we are sleeping. All the advice I read says apply "tough love", set proper limits and then kick him out of the house if he does not apply. Much easier said than done.

    So I guess I am at the point of kicking him out of the house, but to where?? Can I really do that, kick him out of my home only to become a burden on society, or perhaps he will finally grown-up. My biggest problem, if I told him to leave, he probably wouldn't, then what do I do?? Call the police, how embarrassing, more for my husband and I. Oh and by the way I don't think my husband would allow it, too nice, part of the problem.

    Any suggestions? Help?
  • Sep 16, 2009, 08:19 PM
    artlady

    Join the club.
    I am 55 and I have a 22 yr.old who is spoiled and does not work.

    SPOILED! :eek:

    He was spoiled as a child because of no Dad and then some medical problems but that is over now! He is a healthy and smart but somehow... ENTITLED man. EXCUSE ME ?
    When you find out the secret ,let me know!
    Call me clueless until then :)
  • Sep 17, 2009, 07:14 PM
    jenniepepsi

    Hi 'original poster'
    And artlady :)

    Time for some tough love ladies.
    I don't know where I would be if my mom had not told me 'get a job within the next 6 months, or get the hell out'

    I was 20 at the time. And I didn't do as she told me.
    So I had to leave. And live with friends. And they certainly didn't put up with it either.
    Eventually I pulled my head out of my and did what I had to do.

    Now I'm 25. And at moms house again. But this time, its because I am getting a divorce from my abusive husband and I'm going to start going to school. My mom told me 'go to school or get a job or find somewhere else'
    And I'm taking her seriously this time.


    Good luck ladies :)
    Its hard to let our babies go. I experienced this to a much lesser degree, but still the same subject sort of. She started kindergarten this year about a month ago... ive been a SAHM almost all her life. I only worked until she was 1... its HARD lol.
  • Feb 2, 2011, 09:12 AM
    yonne
    I was going through the same thing with my son. And I understand what you are going through. But in my case, I have been telling him for awhile that he needs to get a job and take care of himself. So since that he didn't want to listen to me, he decided to move with his father. Even though he thought that it was the right thing to do but his father won't tell him to do anything!

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