My boyfriend and I live with his mother and step father. They also work together. Well today they got into about a dent that was put in the truck, it was a mistake and his tep father blew up about it. Started cussing him and throwing stuff up in his face about what he was done for him in the last year or so. The "step father" does no wrong he always better. He yelled at me one night because my daughter was crying. And said I wasn't a good mother he has no kids. We call this man one up guy. He better at everything he said he would be great at birth, he wouldn't cry or anything.
He moved out on his own my boyfriends mother didn't ask him to. She can't even run to town alone he has to go or he gets mad and blows up if it isn't done his way he gets mad

How can we deal with this?

If you are old enough to have a child you are old enough to be out in the World on your own. I realize these are rough financial times but you, your boyfriend and your daughter (and I have no idea if your boyfriend is your daughter's father) are living with your boyfriend's mother and stepfather in their home. I trust you are helping to pay expenses but if you are or not, it is their home.

I do note you are having a second child but for whatever reason do not have your own place to live.

You are living in a home that the stepfather provides and complaining about the stepfather? You seem very ungrateful to me. If you are unhappy there, move in with YOUR family.

Or, even better, if you don't want to deal with the stepfather, move out and find your own place to live, support yourself.

It sounds unkind but that's how it works.

How do you deal with this: MOVE

This is how I look at this, from the outside. Tell me if I have it right.

The stepfather married his mom and adopted your boyfriend. They both work together and usually get along well. There was an accident and they had a fight, it did not involve the mother, and he left.

Maybe he needed to cool off. He sounds a bit insecure.

Now, that's said, I think you calling him "one up guy" is rude. You are living with them, not the other way around. If both you and his stepson can make a baby, you can live on your own. He probably resents having to help support you. Of course he's going to give you his advice. You don't think he knows you're making comments about him? Think again.

Seriously, move out. The relationship between your him and your boyfriends mother is NONE of your business.

Look I didn't ask for an smart reply

My boyfriends mother told us to stay. She rather us be here and helping them, and by the way he don't help. He don't even want to be here but he don't want his family to know that he has failed at something. Hell he packed my stuff up and left it outside. It not like we asked to live here.

We're not giving you a smart reply and I'm not trying to start an argument. You are way too involved in this situation to see it clearly.

She may have asked you to stay but did she ask him? It was THEIR relationship, not yours that mattered before.

If you didn't ask to live there, MOVE OUT.

I'd love to know how old you and your boyfriend are.

I think that when things get difficult like this, it's often better to leave before things get worse. From what you describe your BF's step father is difficult. It may also be that it's difficult for him as well, as you have a young child.

Wouldn't you be happier and more relaxed on your own? I know that these are hard economic times but perhaps it's a matter of making a choice - live with him, live with his rules and swallow your resentment or, leave and live by your own rules even if you have less money.

What's the point of creating bad blood? Your priority should be your BF and your children, not worrying about your BF's stepfather.

Start looking at your options to move out and don't get involved in squabbles.

I have read your other posts so I have a little bit of a history here. From what I read your child is NOT your current boyfriend's child (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family...ml#post1974823) but your boyfriend's parents are providing a home for her?

You write about your concerns over getting pregnant at a young age but you are pregnant again - and apparently more than a little concerned about that pregnancy. https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/pregna...ng-395607.html is just one of your threads.

You need to take a deep breath and take a closer look at your situation before you have a third child.

I know you only want to hear what you want to hear - but the fact remains that you have one child, another one the way, and you are criticizing the very people who keep a roof over your head. Answers which do not agree with you are by no means "smart" (if by that you mean sarcastic) - when you post a question, expect a variety of answers.


Again - if you aren't happy, move. At some point be an adult and stand on your own two feet.

First of all he don't support us and the mother calls him one up guy and it don't matter now anyway he packed his things and left but me and my boyfriend moved out today anyway

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Originally Posted by brittanymommy08

first of all he dont support us and the mother calls him one up guy and it dont matter now anyways he packed his things and lefted but me and my boyfriend moved out today anyways

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He wasn't supporting you? Who was paying the utility bills and the mortgage or rent? You were paying your share and also buying food?

So - he packed his things and "lefted" your boyfriend's mother?

I sit with an lady who dying from cancer so I pay
My part and my little girls part. Yes I still have some
Help from my mother and father, for the most I do it on
My own and on top of everything else I'm going to school.
So that's why I think I can say how I feel about everything that
Happens in the home, I'm the one that cooks and cleans. In this house
We have two different families which isn't good but right now
I can't complete make it on my own year and half left of school I will
But I don't ask for anyone help. I'm sorry if everyone feels different about my
Life. Maybe I should have keep my mouth shut. By the way what you guys don't know
This man was yelling at me for my child crying and she sick. And didn't want me to
Say anything. But it's over now he packing his things to leave again. By the way the boyfriend mother didn't want him there anyway. He wouldn't leave. But I'm moving back home while most of you thought I should be. But I still pay for me and childerns own things.

Good - you are self supporting and not dependent. Surprising considering you started the job a day or two ago.

Do you actually read what you post, see how the info conflicts?

Look I had some money coming in that people owed me and I helped clean houses so I always have money it not that. This what I'm doing is steady. I will have it unitl whenever.
And yes I do I have two different kids daddys I'm sorry it wasn't by choice I was on birth control this last time it didn't work for me, I don't know why but i dont have regets i'm trying to make it in this world and it's hard but i have learn from my own mistakes. By the way my ex husband pays child support. And we are divorce which I paid for.

What are you taking in school?

Who's watching the baby while you're in school? The mother?

Yes, my mother does.
I'm going to be an lpn.
Then I'm going on for my RN.
While I work. I have big plans for my
Life. I have realize how hard it is.

You've chosen an excellent career. I wish you the best in school.

One thing you'll learn in healthcare though is that you can't judge people. You are there to care for them and help them, not look down at their situation. You can't control who your patients are, ever. You are their advocate first and foremost.

All I'm saying is, give the stepfather a break. Let the family sort out the situation and try to stay back. It's easy to want to step in and defend your boyfriend, but that's not your place. It's between them.

Again, good luck.

Thanks,
I told his mother when she asked what I thought do what makes you happy, but remember you have one that still needs you not my boyfriend she has a 15 year old daughter. But from what I hear they are going their differents ways. Step father and me just didn't get along. But I did try at times. Anyway
Thanks for everyone's input

Have a great day :)