Hi,We were together for 14yrs and one night we made passionate love and the next night it was all over. Told me she still loved me,but there was no passion,then I found out that she was seeing another guy while with me and falling in love with a guy on the internet,and then chasing another guy. The third was married with 2 young girls 5-8yrs.
In her mind she has yet done nothing wrong or out of the ordinary,she has lied for a while and still is lying to her friends,parents,me. She is 38yrs old. I have made mistakes with her,checking up on her,smoothering her,not being active enough,not taking enough interest in her hobbies,and lied about stupid man stuff,money. Never was unfaithful. I still am in love with her and would love to have another chance with her. She is now with the married man who has moved in 5 months after I leave. He has left his wife. What do you think is her problem or if she has one or is it me. We have two kids.She broke up her family and just broke up another one,she has no problem with that.Do you think she will change her mind?

Dude... man that hurts. Sorry.

Really there is nothing you can do. She is going to go her own way and the harder you try the farther you push her away.

I realize you have kids together but your best bet is to back of from any non-children communication. Let her see that you're not there for her anymore. She may come back, she may not. Let's say she does... are you willing to be her second choice? Can you trust that she won't do it again?

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Originally Posted by daewoo340

Hi,We were together for 14yrs and one night we made passionate love and the next night it was all over. Told me she still loved me,but there was no passion,then I found out that she was seeing another guy while with me and falling in love with a guy on the internet,and then chasing another guy. the third was married with 2 young girls 5-8yrs.

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Your entire post baffles me. You want her back after all of this? She broke up a marriage while with you and this is the type of person you really want? 14 years may be a long time, but don't let it fool you into thinking you need to settle for a person with such low character. Be thankful she is out of your life. Raise your two children, be a good man and father and pray that she NEVER comes back into your life again... I hope at the least she is being a responsible mother, but somehow I doubt that. Her actions don't make you a poor partner or father. Do what you have to do for the children and mend your heart, no matter how much it may hurt.

How can you ever trust her again? She was 3 timing you and those are the ones that you know about. What are you expecting from her? That she will stop cheating and come back to you and everything will be normal again?

Your focus should be your children. You should be acting in the best interest of your children. A cheating mother and an unhealthy relationship with her is definitely NOT in the best interest of your children.

I'm sorry that she cheated on you. But at least you know the truth, instead of being lead on. Let her go. Move on with your life. Again, focus on your children and act in their best interest.

Why would you want this Succubus back?

She probably has some issues that stemed form her childhood; seems to me she has a problem with intimacy and commitment. She needs help professionally before your relationship with her will change in anyway. Its not you. Many women can handle what you've done. Cheating is a violation and should be treated like a crime. I feel that she made the excuse of there being a lack of passion, so as a way to break the ties, instead of saying she doesn't want to be with you anymore. A coward, I'll say. She has no remorse for her actions and shows no interest in the potentiality for her kids to either hate her, hate you , or themselves, since most kids blame themselves... focus on your kids right now. At least they are under you authority, your wife needs counseling.

I'm sorry. She's a bad woman. Yes, you spent a looooong time together. She, unlike you, does not respect that.

Look to yourself now. Live for YOU and YOUR KIDS. She's a lost soul...

I know it hurts. Been there, done that. I feel for you. Seriously... suck it up. Chin up... lets move forward. She won't expect that. Say you agree... wasn't working... Put her off her game. When she comes sniffing around... slap that beyotch in the nose and say NO!

Good day eh.

Ciao.

A three-timer. Sheesh. And you want her back.

How could you trust her again? Particularly since she is justifying her actions. And, actions speak louder than words - she lied, cheated and now she's moved on.

She's not coming back, and why would you condone her actions by having her back? What sort of example does that set for your children?

I'm sorry, I know that 14 years is a long time, but she's walked away from it. I think you should too.

She is a slut and always has been, and you were her oldest victim, but not the only one.

Sorry guy but let that chapter of your life be over and get the child support from her.

I feel bad about the kids and hope you don't let them suffer.

That's like putting spoiled milk back into the refrigerator saying "mmm maybe it will be OK next week".

Break away, and live a happy life. The last thing you want to do is let her know that you even care about her or her lies.

Good luck.