How do you "un-focus" on your significant other?
Hello:
Me and my boyfriend have been together 13 months. We have great communication, we laugh together, we respect each other, we genuinely love to be with each other. We have never had a serious "fight" only mild arguments or times when one hurts the other, and then we talk about it. We have had issues, mostly regarding each of our spiritual walks, but overall we have an awesome connection and partnership.
Lately we've been talking about marriage, and I've been kind of pushy about it, talking about getting married next year , etc.
He sat me down and told me he really isn't ready to get married. That he needs time and he just simply isn't ready.
(I realized I need to stop being the "man" and talking about marriage)
Now I am 100% okay with this, really, it made me very happy and relieved he talked to me about it. But for some reason, the discussion of it kind of destroyed my happy little plan I had made in my head, and I realized that I really don't have any kind of plan for myself or for him. I was just planning on getting married and him being my everything.
Which I know is NOT healthy.
He has been my strength, my peace, the person I go to with problems, the person I get my comfort and love and acceptance from.
And I'm just wondering, now that I've realized how unhealthy this is, that I really need to explore myself and let God and myself be my comfort and strength, that I need to accept and love myself without needing others to affirm this, that I need to explore my own path in life and develop myself and STOP making him the point of it all...
How do I go from him being #1, the reason I do what I do, to bringing it down a few notches so he is a very important part of my life, but not what I hinge my everything on?
I hope this isn't too confusing hehe.
I just really want to develop mySELF, and a healthy life of my own, and strength and peace on my own, while STILL keeping this relationship and loving this man.
I have no interest in breaking up with him.
Any tips for how to go about this? :p