Is it possible to become the number 1 person to your partner?
My girlfriend of over 3 years just told me that whe feels the only way to save our relationship is for us to take time apart to see how real it is. I'll explain, first off I'm now 34 and this is/was my first real committed long term relationship. We knew one another five years before we started dating from work. I had a crush on her then, but never approached her, she was in a another relationship. I left the job straightened out my own personal life and 5 years after I last saw her without any contact I randomly bumped into her in a coffee shop. We started dating and began a beautiful relationship and friendship. We had so much in common and loved spending time with one another. We were "in love" our parents loved her and me and all our friends thought we were going to be a perfect fit for the long run. I felt this as well. Through out the relationship though there were moments when I felt like I wasn't the most important person in her life. I understand family and friends are important, but the biggest issue in yhis relationship was this factor. I felt too much like she would choose her sisters feelings before mine. I think we were both in denial and thinking that it we would work through it and since there wa such a common bond that this couldn't be enough to break us. As our relationship grew we decided to move in together. I felt she was reluctant about it and it turns out she was, but we went ahead with it and turned out to be great. Things are still "good" but for the idea of taking the next and getting married she says her gut is telling her be reluctant. She says after being where we are in the relationship, then way doesn't she feel like taking the next step doesn't feel right. She says she's felt this for awhile, but hasn't brought it because she was afraid of hurting me and to see if this feeling would change. So here we are 3 yrs later and it has come up. She feels that something with us is missing and she needs time off to figure out how much she values aour relationship. She knows that I am ready to be with her forever and that she is the one for me, but she is still unsure for herself. She's acknowledgged that I have been great and there wasn't anything I did to cause this.she says there is a connection missing when we kiss and maybe a lack of passion. There were lulls in our sex life that get better.I on the otherhand have realized that I took too much for granted and might have gotten complacement. Even though I was always there for her as a friend I might not have always been there for her as much in romace and intimacy. This could be in part to my fear that I would be rejected or it would go unwanted. There are ways that I acted that could have turned her off from me, even though throughout she seemed as if everything was fine. I ask now if you think it's possible after some time off to try and romance her again slowly and maybe make this relationship complete. Thank you
