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-   -   She wants to be friend, but I want more. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=395849)

  • Sep 12, 2009, 05:35 PM
    Gravak
    She wants to be friend, but I want more.
    First post so first off, hi ^^

    basically, about a week and a half ago I asked a girl out who comes into where I work to chat, her and her brother come in and will sit and chat for up to 5 hours every time they come in easily about pretty much anything and everything.

    what followed I've tried to summarize a little below

    few week back kate (a woman I work with) and me were talking about it, how I liked her and got on well with her - then kate and helen (another woman I work with :P) took it upon themselves to get me this girls number from her brother, which I thought was kind of weird, so when I got it I thought I'd ease into it, told her I'd left the dvd's in work for her and she could grab them when she was next in (as I was on holiday this week from work) she went in on the Tuesday, and kate let slip then continued to explain that I liked her, I asked her out for a drink that week without knowing this, she said "just as mates if thats ok?" then explained how she was enjoying being single after her break up with her ex a year back and wasn't looking for anything at the moment, then after texting one another for a couple of days she made me promise to her, I wasn't just being her friend 'expecting' something somewhere down the line, so I said I wasn't I liked her and wanted to be friend if she wanted it

    does this mean that there is the possibility of something happening but its up to her? Or (due to the short time we've known one another) she doesn't know me enough to want to commit to anything in the off chance it fails - she only knows the 'work me' and wants to get to know the 'me me' (put stupidly :P)

    we went out tonight as friends (me, my brother, her brother and her) for food and to see a movie, and had a good time

    any input from you guys would be great :D

    thanks in advance
  • Sep 12, 2009, 06:25 PM
    I wish

    There's always the possibility that she could see you as more down the line, but don't expect it from her. She made it clear that she only wants a friendship.

    So if you can handle a friendship without expecting something more, then talk to her more. But don't set it as a goal to get her, otherwise you will be setting yourself up for disappointment.
  • Sep 13, 2009, 12:45 AM
    Sweet_Guy23

    There's no interest here buddy...

    You're just in the friend zone.
  • Sep 13, 2009, 04:39 AM
    Riot

    Becarefull

    I was lead down this same road expecting 'progess' too but it drained me over a 2 month period
  • Sep 13, 2009, 05:01 AM
    redhed35

    She really has been straight with you,you know where you stand.

    Its your head that playing games with you,looking for more.

    Don't expect any romance here,if things develop so be it,but,she also said,not to be her friend in the hopes something will happen at a late date.

    Take her word for it.
  • Sep 13, 2009, 05:22 AM
    amicon

    Had to spread the rep but I agree with redhead-the girl s been very honest with you.
  • Sep 13, 2009, 05:31 AM
    Gravak
    Thanks for the advice guys :] much appreciated, helped quite a lot :D
  • Oct 14, 2009, 10:32 AM
    Gravak
    Is she just teasing me?
    about a month and a half ago I posted about a problem with this girl I liked

    basically, I asked her out and she wanted to be friends and told me not to 'expect' anything in the future, which I was perfectly fine with after I came to terms with it

    we've been pretty good friends the past month and a half, always texting, going out places together etc. and its been great, obviously there are strands of the feelings that remain but nothing I'd act upon as I'm enjoying the time spent talking and doing things.

    the only problem is, something occurred today which I thought was a bit 'off' to say the least...

    I work in a bookmakers, taking bets all day behind a counter, and when its slow and they're around town her and her brother (who I'm good mates with also now) come in and talk with me mainly, and of course whoever I'm working with to some extent. We were talking for about 30minutes easily, and randomly (even my co-worker said it felt a bit weird even hearing it said as he knew I liked her) she said "You know Gav.....I love you.....as a friend" then smiled...

    Am I completely tapped in the head and thinking the worst of it, or would you say it's a bit out of line?

    Thanks in advance :]
  • Oct 14, 2009, 10:43 AM
    I wish
    Please keep all questions regarding the same issue in the same thread so that we can follow your story.

    You're putting too much emphasis on the "I love you" part. Need I remind you that she added the "as a friend" part to remind you that nothing more can happen. She just really likes her friendship with you. But you're right, she could be more sensitive towards your feelings seeing that she knows that you see her more than a friend.
  • Oct 14, 2009, 10:45 AM
    Gravak

    I probably didn't convey it enough - I know she just wants to be friends

    It was the say she said it "Gav......i love you"

    Then a longish pause, followed by "as friends..."

    As if to get a reaction out of me

    And sorry for the extra post :]
  • Oct 14, 2009, 10:50 AM
    I wish
    Don't let her mess with your mind like that.

    Think about it this way, she already knows how you feel about her. If she wanted more, she would let you know. She doesn't need to test you to see what kind of reaction you would give her.
  • Oct 15, 2009, 07:46 AM
    talaniman

    What part of as a friend is it your confused about? Its you allowing your mind to play tricks on you. False hope and wanting more, will do that. Back off, and balance yourself with more friends, and activities you enjoy, as you're to invested in her. Your to available buddy.
  • Oct 17, 2009, 04:52 PM
    Gravak

    Had a talk with her about it, and a few other things the other night over a drink

    We got talking about all sorts and it seems as though something is going to happen, we were both flirty and got to the point where we were holding hands

    Hopefully it'll carry on and develop :D
  • Oct 17, 2009, 07:02 PM
    paxe

    Don't hope for everything, you just want to go out and meet some new people, this is how you meet someone.

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