Ask Me Help Desk - Incest Fantasies

Incest Fantasies

The other night my boyfriend and I were just chatting, kind of using foreplay to get ourselves in the mood, so I told him that I was attracted to his sister, which I am, because she is lovely and she very much reminds me of him. He said that I should tell her and do something with her. AT first I was like, uugghh that would be strange for you wouldn't it? He said no, he wouldn't care... long story short he asked if I would want a 3some with him and his sister (she's a year or two younger than he). I answered honestly, yes and I said would you? He then answered maybe. This turned me on a bit, I know its wrong of him to think about that, but I'm not kin, and he did ask. I would usually be jealous if he wanted to have a 3some with another woman, but for some reason thinking about him, his sister, and It sparked no jealousy. Obscure I know. So I continued to ask him questions like, what would you want us to do, blah blah, and if he would like certain things. About 20 minutes into it he got mad, apparently and didn't want to talk about it anymore. I was confused. But the thing is, he and his sister are like extremely close, they talk to each other about things I wouldn't even talk to my best friend about; and when they were younger, he was around 11 or 12 he basically coerced her into jerking him off. I know guys will have their random thoughts, just because their guys, and now that he told me sometimes he would think about doing stuff with his sister, do u think it has to do with that? Also why did he all of a sudden change his mind or something? He said I made him feel ashamed, and disgusted. But I didn't start it though. He did. Last but not least, I feel badly for making him feel "ashamed" yet the idea still turns me on very much so... am I wrong... what should I do? What is going on in both our minds?

I think he and his sister should get professional counseling

In most cultures throughout the WORLD incest is forbidden.

Freud would say we all wanted to have it on with our mothers and fathers.I think not.

I think it would be psychologically damaging to get into a scenario such as this and I find it disturbing.

Pedophile behavior often starts with the sexual abuse of a close family member.

It's a red flag!

I would be concerned and I would probably run like the wind from this guy.

Well this is a bizarre question. While I think that this is strange and obviously uncalled for. There could be some things to explain this. I guess you could say Im less interested in the issue with you and him and more about him and his sister.

Are they blood?

As for being ashamed, he has to realize that he did bring it up and can't get mad at you for responding and digging deeper.

But I agree with the above poster, it is wrong but like I said maybe it can be exaplined. I don't know!

Rick

Brother and sister and sex.. are NEVER to be used in the same sentence. I think that it's a pretty sick fantasy, if my boyfriend said that I would be kicking him to the curb. He should feel ashamed and disgusted with himself, bottom line no one in their right mind wants to sleep with their sibling.

Quote:

Originally Posted by j_ely823

his sister (she's a year or two younger than he).

...and when they were younger, he was around 11 or 12 he basically coerced her into jerking him off.

Counseling should be just the beginning. For everyone concerned.

Incest fantasies are actually pretty common.

Emphasis on the word "fantasies".

This is NOT something that you should even THINK about doing outside of your own brain.

How do u delete a post?

Quote:

Originally Posted by j_ely823

how do u delete a post?

You don't.

Look, although sex between siblings is taboo in our society, I don't think it's unusual for siblings to participate in sexual play as adolescents. The reality is, that as adults some siblings are attracted to each other, although it is only the few that take it one step further.

Having said all that, you are no longer adolescents and you're capable of thinking about your situation. I don't think that you should encourage him in his 'incest fantasies' and I think that you should absolutely take the thought of doing something sexual with his sister out of your mind completely. It has the potential to blow up very badly in all of your faces.

I would not talk to him about it any more, and I would tell him that it was just a silly fantasy and a moment of madness on your part.

He's probably embarrassed that he ever mentioned anything to you. My question is have you been sexually abused? Please don't feel insulted... I ask because sometimes people that have been molested will have strange fantasies and will attract others with weird tastes. I personally would not be involved with this guy.

If you guys go further and act on this fantasy, you will regret it. Try to get some counseling so you don't keep attracting the wrong guys and stick to fantasies that aren't quite so taboo.

Well actually, I hadn't thought about it like that. I try not to. I don't want to and I don't like telling about the situation because I couldn't quite understand it or reason what it was, but yeah when I was younger aroung 7/8, an extended family member coerced me into doing things... but I wouldn't ever do that to anyone in my family, or think about it, and he disgusts me, in actuality most men that remind me of him disgust me... why would that have to do with this though?

Quote:

Originally Posted by j_ely823

why would that have to do with this though?

Sometimes we don't realize how much events and people in our early lives affect what we think and do today. Sometimes, those effects are positive like enjoying the scent of certain flowers. Sometimes, they are bordering on negative behavior such as being attracted to an abuser. Those are just examples from opposite ends of the spectrum.

Your boyfriend seems to still be dealing with what happened years ago. He may also be getting defensive because he didn't give you the full story. That's okay. It's his story to tell. However, he may be holding in guilt and other more complex emotions that would probably be better handled by a person trained to deal with what's going on in his head.

I think they crossed a line a long time ago with the Tug-O-war game.

Fantasies in most cases should remain fantasies... seems like this one was one that hit a little close to home being a line was crossed a long time ago. Things were said that in retrospect likely shouldn't have, and went places they shouldn't have gone and he got defensive when he realized it.

Its hard to draw lines of distinction onm the conversation, they will vary from person to person. As has been mentioned you have seen this is a minefield laden topic. Best to give it a wife berth in the future.