I'm 18, I deeply love a girl who is 26.

She already has her boyfriend whom she's been dating for 4 years, who she deeply loves but she's been going on bad terms with him still they will be getting engaged in October.

The love she had for him decreased since.. She still loves him.

I've already told her my feelings. I think she loves me too but our age difference, perhaps that's why she doesn't want to tell me.

I'm willing to spend the rest of my life with her.

The way she's been bahaving with me, caring for me, feeling jealous of other girls who talk to me, it seems so. I really love her a lot. I don't know what to do.

She told me before that she wished that "Why I weren't older or she younger"

Please people help me!!

She's off limits. She is a woman taken. Her wedding is in October. If the wedding doesn't take place for whatever reason, you may be in the picture.

But, in all honesty, it sounds like she is talking to you on an older sisterly level.

No actually.. its her engagement!

Please help me out!!

You already know the answer... she said it to you! Obviously the age difference is something she wouldn't be able to handle, even if she was single.

Regardless, she is taken, engaged, and to be married in a few months. So back off, let her be with her fiancé and get married... there really isn't anything you can do. You already spoke of your feelings and she shot you down.

Sorry I wish I had better advice, but I highly doubt you'll get any that tell you to continue pursuing her.

I understand it's HER engagement. But she is off limits to you. She is engaged

She's about to be engaged so she's off limits, plain and simple. Your arguments about her "going on bad terms with him" and "the love she had for him decreased" carry no weight in rationalizing any other decision. Now if she breaks things off with him clean and final then she's fair (if not wise) game, but not before.

I think you should look for new love someone your own age. On the other hand age is just a number, but by what your saying she clearly not interested in you. Being a relationship with a older woman has it's good and bad point. Good point is the maturity level, bad point is fighting over petty bull all the time. My girlfriend is about nine years my senior, and my dad was at least 20 yrs. Older than my mom. They had a stranger relationships toward the end of his life but there was no doubt they love each other. I don't want to make up your mind for you, but just wanted to give you a bit of both sides. Hope this help, at the end of the day it's your decision.

Even if you were older or she was younger, she's dating someone, she's marrying him.

She has no business leading you on, she wants to have her cake and eat it too. I would expect more from someone her age, she's acting very immature.

Forget about her, not only because you can't have her but because you can do better.

I don't think that this will go anywhere and I suspect that you're grasping at straws in an effort to create what you desire.

She's marrying someone else - whether she loves him or not is no-one's business but theirs. However, she has no right to be leading you on if she's with someone else.

I think that she's playing with you because you're an affectionate puppy looking for the crumbs she offers you as affection. It's flattering for her to have you playing around her feet.

Difficult though this may sound, I would stop having contact with her. She's with someone else. She's unhappy. You're unhappy.

You need to experience more of life before you can make an intelligent decision about who you want to spend the rest of your life with. Let her sort out her own problems and get on with living a real life, not a pretend one in her shadow.

Terry, please stop starting new threads. This leads to confusion. Please keep all of your responses here. All other threads have been removed and the responses have been merged.

She obviously has a hang up about the age thing so even if she broke it off with this guy it seems she still wouldn't go getting involved with you.
Unless she has some thunder and lightening striking her as a sign to get with you I doubt it will ever happen.

I agree with everybody here, she's taken, not available, and about to be engaged to her long time boyfriend.

I think if you were more mature, you would realize that she is playing you because she probably likes the attention of being adored. It is a cruel way to treat someone that way that you know is head over heals for you, and you also know a relationship will never happen.

I would say that even if your ages were identical, she does not indicate that she is a woman of good character to be keeping a man on the side, and stringing him along.

Women like this don't deserve a good man, and maybe this is a blessing in disguise for you.

Thanks a lot..

We work together, I'm not feeling to be a player, but I don't lack girls.

She knows it as well but I don'tknow why I chose her.

The way she's be behaving with me.

Feeling jealous when others talk to me,giving me all the mighty importance that she needed to give boyfriend.

If you had witnessed all these, the conclusion would be SHE LOVES ME !

She doesn't want to tell me because of the age.

She did told me once, "you're still young, you're cute, handsome, you'll get loads of girls".

"what would happen tome if afterwards you have someone else in your life"

I was supposed to date 2 girls this week, she came to know it.

She told me "Why you waiting for the very day, go right now".

I've already told her, on her engagement day, I'll suffer the most.

Told her to keep her distance from me, 'cause I don't want to get more closer to her. But she insists on!!

All the advice that you've given are help, I do really appreciate but my heart doesn't understand each time she comes before me!

I just want to know, she loves me or no, that's all !

But how should I get the answer??

Often people 'go after' what they can't have because it feels appealing and challenging.
She wants your attention but not your affection.
No she doesn't love you she loves the attention and how it feels that you are young and it makes her ego feel better to have the attention from you.
If she loved you she would be having second thoughts about going through with marrying her boyfriend.
You don't have to understand the reasoning of why some people do the things they do. The main importance is what is going to come from what they do... NO good is going to come from her behavior towards you. So it is best to keep telling her that you do not appreciate flirting with someone you know you can't have or else learn to ignore her.

The answer is you're an ego booster for her.

She does not love you.

In fact, she may be unaware that you love her. To her it is probably playful bantering.

I do think that at some point she crossed the line from innocent behaviour, to behaviour that she knows gets a rise out of you, but her responses and communication with you, is not love.

It's a nasty game. She likes it for some reason, and sounds to me a few taco's short a combination plate to keep the game going. I know if I were in the presence of both of you, I'd be wondering why her head is not on straight.

Although she is the older person here, and supposedly wiser, you will have to be the bigger person, and realize nothing is going to happen between the two of you.

Don't respond when she's flirting, just keep busy, and don't engage in any way with her. I think if she finds herself not getting a rise out of you, she'll stop.

Harshness warning

It doesn't really matter how she feels anymore. Whether she loves you or not, she's planning to marry another person. She's off limits.

It sounds like she cares about you a lot, much like an older sister, but she doesn't love you in the romantic way. If you feel that she's treating you more than that, then she's being unfair to her fiancé, which doesn't make her a very special person.

It's better to keep as much distance from her as possible so that you can get over her. If you keep talking to her, you will over-analyze all her actions and signs. It's very unhealthy. Nor matter how much you analyze, the bottom line is she's marrying someone else. So she's OFF LIMITS.

Sending me texts messages EVERYDAY, she would call me and we would TALK for hours.

We work together, I take all my breaks with her, or I should say she does!

She likes me a lot, keeping on praising me at home and with others, even with her boyfriend.

Once she told me, “You said and did things that my boyfriend didn't do during these past years"

"Wish I were younger or you older"

"Some day I'll tell you something, but only if I'm drunked 'cause you get kind of guts when you booze"

2 weeks ago was her birthday, she boozed a lot 'cause of the problems she been having with her boyfriend, I called her on my friend's cell, I heard her saying,

"Terry doesn't love me, he already has his girlfriend working there, and that’s why he is willing to quit this job".

"My boyfriend doesn't love me"

This made me feel confident about her answer!

I told her that I love her but don't know I didn't ask her for any kind of answer.

Days after while talking she told me,

"Even if I hadn't anyone in my life, I wouldn't be dating you, 'cause of our age difference"

But still she takes all her breaks with me!

She told me that I'm still young, handsome and I will surely find someone.

But when other girls talk to me, she tells me, "Don’t talk to her!! "

Several girls had a crush on me, asking me to go on a date with them but when I told her, she told me

"Why you waiting for the very day? Go right now!! ”

SO WHY ARE YOU JEALOUS WHEN I TALK TO OTHERS?? WHY YOU TELL ME NOT TO DATE ANYONE??
WHY IS SHE LEADING ON ME IF SHE'S WITH SOMEONE ELSE??

She's texting me right now, I'm feeling like uneasy, amn't replying her!!

She got support when she needed, taking me for a joke!

Every time I tell her that I love her she says "Yes”!

Yes what??

What she's taking me for?? >!!

You don't want to tell me that you love me or not??

So why you're playing with me! >>??

Please help me, something strong!!

She's already said her piece she won't date for the age difference,everything else is just warped..
Maybe she likes your attention
Maybe she wants to make the boyfriend jealous<beware>
Regardless she said she would never date so be friends or tell her your not comfortable with the situation because you have stronger feelings.
Can you answer two questions for me?
Why do you want this older woman?
Why do you want someone that has to use a substance i.e.alcohol to say something she may be feeling?
Lots of red flags here my friend not to mention you WORK together.

Wow, that was a nightmare to read.

Anyway, how old are you two?
If she isn't going to date you because of the age difference you can't do anything about that. She's right to say you'll find someone else.

Get away from her. I doubt you truly love her, or even know what it means. Get yourself a girlfriend. Go out with a girl, and don't tell her about it. Get away from her because you can't have her and you're only hurting yourself emotionally by trying to have her anyway.

You DO NOT need to post multiple threads. If you have more information to share, add it in a reply, it is unnecessary to do it like this, and just clutters up the forum.

Anyway:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by HelpinHere

Wow, that was a nightmare to read.

Anyway, how old are you two?
If she isn't going to date you because of the age difference you can't do anything about that. She's right to say you'll find someone else.

Get away from her. I doubt you truly love her, or even know what it means. Get yourself a girlfriend. Go out with a girl, and don't tell her about it. Get away from her because you can't have her and you're only hurting yourself emotionally by trying to have her anyway.

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I stand by what I said in your other thread. You are still growing, still maturing. Whether you like it or not, she already has her life planned, and it doesn't include you.