Do you think I can change his mind sometime in the future?
I am going through a very hard time now and even though I deserve the emotional pain, I would like some advice. I met this man online and I was only seeking someone to talk to you. I lied in the beginning about my age (not by that much), my name, and where I live, only because I was being precautious because people on the internet can be creeps so I didn't want him to find out my information. I also did it for self esteem issues as well. Anyway, I made a horrible mistake doing that and it was the stupidest thing ever. After talking we just clicked, and after a few months I fell in love and so did he. Problem is I never had the guts to tell him the truth. So time went on and the relationship proceeded. We had our ups and downs for 1 year. We finally met after I had the guts to meet him and we had an amazing few days, but right before he had to leave he found out everything about me. Now, I never expected to go on lying and I also did fess up to a lot of things. Honesty is foremost the most important policy in a relationship and I feel so terrible for what I have done. I don't even know why I did it. I really loved this guy and still do and now I have an eating disorder and moderate depression. He dumped me and said he doesn't know if he can ever trust again. I feel so bad for him and want him to be happy. Deep inside I know I am not a bad person. I made a stupid decision and it was a big one, but in the end I am not a bad person. I feel for him and my heart aches for him. I know I need some help to deal with myself esteem issues and my depression. I need to finish up school and start taking control of my own life not just for others but for my sake. However, I love this man deeply. He is amazing and unique and I can never love anyone like him. I know sounds childish but I mean it. Therefore, I want to know if sometime in the future I can show him through actions through change that I have changed and that I am capable of being the girlfriend he thought he had. He said he doesn't know me anymore and that I was fake and yes I lied about a lot, but to be honest I never pretended to be someone I was not with my personality. I lied but was me. He doesn't seem to get it and I guess it sounds wrong when I explain it. So I just want him to know the REAL me one day. I know deep down he won't be disappointed. Do you think he'd give me that chance one day? If any of you are guys what would you do. Is there a possibility?