I am going through a very hard time now and even though I deserve the emotional pain, I would like some advice. I met this man online and I was only seeking someone to talk to you. I lied in the beginning about my age (not by that much), my name, and where I live, only because I was being precautious because people on the internet can be creeps so I didn't want him to find out my information. I also did it for self esteem issues as well. Anyway, I made a horrible mistake doing that and it was the stupidest thing ever. After talking we just clicked, and after a few months I fell in love and so did he. Problem is I never had the guts to tell him the truth. So time went on and the relationship proceeded. We had our ups and downs for 1 year. We finally met after I had the guts to meet him and we had an amazing few days, but right before he had to leave he found out everything about me. Now, I never expected to go on lying and I also did fess up to a lot of things. Honesty is foremost the most important policy in a relationship and I feel so terrible for what I have done. I don't even know why I did it. I really loved this guy and still do and now I have an eating disorder and moderate depression. He dumped me and said he doesn't know if he can ever trust again. I feel so bad for him and want him to be happy. Deep inside I know I am not a bad person. I made a stupid decision and it was a big one, but in the end I am not a bad person. I feel for him and my heart aches for him. I know I need some help to deal with myself esteem issues and my depression. I need to finish up school and start taking control of my own life not just for others but for my sake. However, I love this man deeply. He is amazing and unique and I can never love anyone like him. I know sounds childish but I mean it. Therefore, I want to know if sometime in the future I can show him through actions through change that I have changed and that I am capable of being the girlfriend he thought he had. He said he doesn't know me anymore and that I was fake and yes I lied about a lot, but to be honest I never pretended to be someone I was not with my personality. I lied but was me. He doesn't seem to get it and I guess it sounds wrong when I explain it. So I just want him to know the REAL me one day. I know deep down he won't be disappointed. Do you think he'd give me that chance one day? If any of you are guys what would you do. Is there a possibility?

HARSH OPINION

I'm a guy, what would I do? First, I wouldn't be looking for a relationship over the internet... but that's just a preference. I like actually knowing a person so things like this wouldn't happen.

I don't blame him for how he feels, or that he might walk away and never look back.

Honestly?

This one's up in the air right now. Will he ever take you back and things be perfect again? Maybe. It really depends on him and how he feels, considering if he thinks it's worth it or not.

The best thing for YOU to do, is to leave him alone and let him think things out for himself. Him coming back to you or not cannot be persuaded by you or any of your actions, he has to want it himself with no influence by you.

How old are the two of you anyway? And how old did you say that you were?

You made the mistake of lying in the first place. It is entirely his decision whether to forgive you. You admit that you were wrong, and that is good; but ultimately, he has to decide for himself if you are worth trusting again or not.

You need to learn from this experience and move on. You may have lost a great opportunity, but you can still learn about yourself. Why did you lie in the first place? Are you sure it's because you wanted to protect yourself from a pervert, or perhaps you wanted to be someone or something other than yourself?

I hope you realize that if a person is really worth your love, they will accept you no matter what, with all your faults and other quirks included.

Now you just have to accept yourself ;)

~ Tee