Ask Me Help Desk - What's going on?

What's going on?

OK so my girlfriend of two years said that she wasn't in love with me so she dumped me. But many times she has said how much she loves me and that she was in love with me and that I make her happy. She's my neighboor, and today she asked me to come take care of her cause she was sick and I ended up helping her with her homework too, we were cuddleing the whole time. She keeps saying that she's not going to get back together with me. I have a feeling that she is scared because we were so good together and her last boyfriend of six years left her high and dry out of the blue with a paragraph in an email. Maybe she is leaving because she is afraid that I'm going to just leave all of a sudden like her last boyfriend did. We've broken up many times and gotten back together for the same reasons, I don't know what to do. Should I wait it out and wait for her to come back? I know she's in love with me but I think she's just confused. This story is a lot more complicated but this is the down and dirty summary cause the real story is waaaayyyy too long.

She doesn't want to be in a relationship with you because if she did, she already would be. Sounds like she is using you and treating you as friends with benefits. You need to sit down with her and discuss it further.

Do not wait it out or for her to come back period

Every time you see her its on her terms.

Let me tell you it sucks to let go of somebody you love and want to wait for. Sucks period.

It can hurt like hell.

But u must move on and let her go. You have to be number one in your life. Love yourself and find someone who will love you equally, otherwise your doing damage to yourself that will be harder to let go of and heal from later.

Read the stickies and get to work,

This isn't a joke, its your life.

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She keeps saying that she's not going to get back together with me.

I would believe her if I were you.

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I have a feeling that she is scared because we were so good together and her last boyfriend of six years left her high and dry out of the blue with a paragraph in an email.

Maybe your right, but you still are dumped for whatever reason.

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Maybe she is leaving because she is afraid that I'm going to just leave all of a sudden like her last boyfriend did. We've broken up many times and gotten back together for the same reasons, I don't know what to do.

Disappear from her life, and stop letting her use you for an emotional tampon, tampons are always thrown away when they have served their purpose.

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should I wait it out and wait for her to come back? I know she's in love with me but I think she's just confused.

That's your version, and you would have to be in shock and denial to even make up all those excuses for why she dumped you. Its closer to the truth that when you get dumped you do wait around until she changes her mind. Boy, your very well trained at this point.

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This story is a lot more complicated but this is the down and dirty summary cause the real story is waaaayyyy too long.

The real deal is she doesn't have to take you back, because your still there to meet her needs anyway, no matter what she says or does to you.

Talaniman Rule- When you get dumped, have the courtesy to leave, and disappear from their lives, and get a better life for yourself.

Talaniman Rule-Never hang around for fun, and games, after being dumped.

Talaniman rule_ If your a man, don't let a female put a collar around your neck, and teach you new tricks. Especially if she is an ex. UGH!!

My advice, is for you to leave her alone long enough for you to realize the reality of your situation, or learn to roll over, and play dead, and speak on command.

If an action is wrong, then there is no excuse for it. You don't need to say more, it is all we need and from what you say we can all see she is using you BIG TIME. You are probably in pain, but you are not the only one, you need some time alone and you need to start No Contact yesterday.

She is cuddling you and telling you at the same time you are not getting back together? That's a big No No. Trust me, I have been there. There is only pain down this road and if you really want to get better, leave her and start healing.

Yeah. You're probably right, it's just really hard because she lives next to me. It sucks because I always know when she is home or not because her car is there.

Don't let it bother you if she s at home just stay away from this-ignore her-forever.

OK so I found out why she dumped me. She says she hasn't felt romantic with me since one particular night when I crossed some serious boundaries. I didn't rape her or cheat on her or anything but I kept trying to have sex with her way after she said stop and no so that really freaked her out and she hasn't felt the same towards me since then. I really want to earn her trust back, even if we don't get back together.

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Originally Posted by gladiator30022

i kept trying to have sex with her way after she said stop and no so that really freaked her out and she hasnt felt the same towards me since then.

Makes sense.

When she says no, it means no. Don't ever do that again.

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Originally Posted by gladiator30022

ok so i found out why she dumped me. she says she hasn't felt romantic with me since one particular night when i crossed some serious boundaries. i didnt rape her or cheat on her or anything but i kept trying to have sex with her way after she said stop and no so that really freaked her out and she hasnt felt the same towards me since then. i really want to earn her trust back, even if we dont get back together.

That is obviously not a good way to get a girl to have sex with you.

Best way is to make yourself unresistable to her and let her come onto you.

The fact that you say you want to earn her trust back, means you want to get back together with her. If you don't want to, there is no point in earning her trust back.

You need to talk to her.

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Originally Posted by DerelictHerds

Makes sense.

When she says no, it means no. Don't ever do that again.

Thanks for the advice...
So today she told me she loves me and she misses me. I know she still is in love with me, but she just has to learn to trust me again. What's the best way to get her to trust me again?