Hello there my girlfriend and I have know each other for almost 3 years and been together for just over a year she is my first love we are both 18 and were born 2 days apart I find her so annoying most of the time but I just couldn't picture her with anyone els, we had miscarrige at the start of the year which was a big let down because even know we are young we were happy to go through with it. Since then I have metured greatly and have almost finished my schooling she always asks me to marry her and I always just laugh and say yep one day, but never really thought about asking her, but I never thought we would be together this long I am ready to prepose but want to buy her a ring first how do I spend and how will I save the money. Lol I in bit of a pickel I rolled my car two weeks ago and I in bit of debt but it is working itself out slowly. My accident got me thinking how could I propose how much should I spend on the engadgment ring please send me your thoughts . Thank you

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Originally Posted by doin jr 91

hello there my girlfriend and i have know eachother for almost 3 years and been together for just over a year she is my first love ..

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That's where I stopped reading.

The answer is no.

Sorry it's a no.

She's your first love. This means you don't have any real experience when it comes to relationships or have had time to grow.

Sticking to the first person you've ever been with is hard, even if your Amish. Actually that's not even true even the Amish know that you need to GROW up, live your life, learn, THEN marry.

Have you lived your life? No your only what 20 something? Have you learned enough about relationships? Nope.

I'm not asking you to go out and date 324 women in order to get experience but you do need to get out there.

The first person is the first love. The hardest love. It hurts to break up.

I smell a messy marriage if you do end up marrying each other.

Well that's just my opinion.

Sarah

No such luck, Sarah.

18, a miscarriage already, still in school, can't afford to repair a car much less a ring, I have only one thing to say:

SLOW THE HECK DOWN!!!!

Finish School. Get a job that will pay for an apartment. Get her through school. Use contraception. Get a life before you get a wife.

As has been said, slow down.

Stop and ask yourselves what the big rush is. It isn't waiting for marriage to have sex. The miscarriage (and I am sorry for your loss) took care of parental responsibilities.

The accident may have put the fear of not living long into you, but that should only be a wake-up call to be careful and treasure the time you are here. It shouldn't be an excuse to rush into anything that could end up harming a lot of people.

Did her desire to get married become stronger after the pregnancy occurred and then the miscarriage? Until then was she willing to "live" together? If yes, has she (or both of you) gotten counseling after the miscarriage? I would be worried that it isn't romantic love as much as fear of losing another person.

I stopped reading when you said you'd rolled your car.

Sorry, but if you think marriage would work with someone that annoys you, you've got rocks in your head. Just imagine, if you can, how much more she will annoy you in 5 or 10 years time.

Of course you can't picture yourself with anyone else, you're only 18 for christsake!

I think that the miscarriage, although unfortunate, is actually a blessing in disguise. Take it from me that the success rate for teenage marriages is EXTREMELY low and a child is the last thing you need at the moment.

Put the engagement ring on hold. Tell her that you love her but that you don't want to get married at this point in time. Get out and do some other things - finish school, travel, meet new people, have some fun - you have a lot more maturing to do and a lot more living.

You need to live life and get some experience before you can make a serious decision such as marriage.

So much has happened already. You need to SLOW WAY DOWN. Just keep enjoying the time that you spend together. Keep moving forward and strengthen your relationship. Only then will you realize whether you two can take the next step, i.e. marriage. But until you have a much stronger relationship, slow down your thoughts on marriage.

You have to understand that marriage is a huge commitment and you need a very strong relationship before you take that step.