Okay, I am 4 months pregnant. There are two possible fathers to my child and I am unsure who is the biological one. One of the guys, I haven't spoken to in over 3 months, and the other is set on being the father, he has taken me to doctor appointments, he wants the baby to have his lastname and be on the birth certificate. We aren't together (boyfriend/girlfriend) but we are working together for the baby. He doesn't want a parternity test, so can he legally sign the birth certificate? And, I haven't told him that there is another guy in the picture, because I know that he will be a great father, and I don't want to crush his dreams of being a dad. So I'm in a pretty tight spot, any help or suggestions would be great.

Rather than lie - and it is a crime in most (if not all States) to misrepresent the father of the child - you must wait for the child to be born and then have DNA testing. It is also unfair to the man who THINKS he's the father to have him sign the birth certificate and accept responsibility for the child until the age of majority.

It doesn't appear you were terribly honest with the man who thinks he's the father during your relationship with him but it is terribly dishonest to make him think it's his child when perhaps it is not.

If DNA testing shows he's the father, no problem and whether you "confess" is up to you. If DNA shows he is not the father, then you have to explain and pursue the birth father for support.

To lie is unfair to the child and both fathers. Maybe one or both men will walk away - only time will tell but you can pursue one for child support.

Good luck - you're in a bad spot.

I did tell the other guy that there is a possibility of him being the father. He wants nothing to do with me or the baby. He said he would deny having any relations with me or even the knowledge of knowing me, so he wouldn't have to pay for a DNA test.
I know I'm in a tight spot, but I don't have much support from anyone to make these big decisions.
Question: How is it a crime if you don't know if the man is the father, he is willing to give his name to the baby and sign the certificate. There isn't any child support being paid either? Just curious.

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Originally Posted by Katie_43

I did tell the other guy that there is a possibility of him being the father. He wants nothing to do with me or the baby. He said he would deny having any relations with me or even the knowledge of knowing me, so he wouldn't have to pay for a DNA test.
I know I'm in a tight spot, but I don't have much support from anyone to make these big decisions.
Question: How is it a crime if you don't know if the man is the father, he is willing to give his name to the baby and sign the certificate. There isn't any child support being paid either? Just curious.

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If that lie worked in court, there would be no such thing as a paternity suit. He doesn't get to decide not to submit to the test. He doesn't have to pay for the test anyway.

The crime is perjury. Falsifying a government document. And just because there is no child support being paid now, that doesn't mean there won't ever be.

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Originally Posted by Katie_43

I did tell the other guy that there is a possibility of him being the father. He wants nothing to do with me or the baby. He said he would deny having any relations with me or even the knowledge of knowing me, so he wouldn't have to pay for a DNA test.
I know I'm in a tight spot, but I don't have much support from anyone to make these big decisions.
Question: How is it a crime if you don't know if the man is the father, he is willing to give his name to the baby and sign the certificate. There isn't any child support being paid either? Just curious.

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Since you asked. How is it a crime ? Lets take a look at what your not looking at. Lets say the bio dad family has a history of heart deformity.. cancer.. etc. You put anyone's name on there. Later when your child is in trouble and they need questions answered well mommy picked the wrong guy so now you will never know. Could be that someday your child may look into their family tree and find out their great uncle was charlie manson instead of charlie sheen. Putting the correct information down is an absolute must. Lets take another example. The bio dad goes on to have children from another woman. Then later through school or activity the children meet. Hey look we don't share a dad according to my birth certificate. Yeah all kinds of things can go extremely wrong by not putting down the correct father on a birth certificate. That's why it's a crime.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Katie_43

Question: How is it a crime if you don't know if the man is the father, he is willing to give his name to the baby and sign the certificate. There isn't any child support being paid either? Just curious.

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It's a crime to the father who becomes emotionally attached and financially obligated for your sin and lie. You aren't in the position to make this choice for either of them. He is excited in partcipating in his child's life because your dishonest actions have lead him to believe that he is the only possible father.

Yes, it is embarrassing to have to admit to this person that you are not sure. It is humbling that you will have to do the right thing here, but it also an important lesson in parenting.

You are gambling with everyone's emotions, even your future child. Get yourself out of a 'tight' spot and do what is right for both men and your child.

If there is ever a time in your life when you are unable to work and you need help from the state,they will come after the man on the BC.
Or you need temporary food stamps,the State will come after the father who is on the birth certificate.
Is it fair for a man to pay for a child who is not his?
Do you really want to bring an innocent child into this world under such a dark cloud of deceit?