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-   -   How much space do I give my girlfriend? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=395124)

  • Sep 10, 2009, 08:19 AM
    billybob748
    How much space do I give my girlfriend?
    Me and my girlfriend have been dating for almost six months now. Everything seemed to be going great. We spent almost everyday together and were happy. Then before I was leaving to go to work on the road. She told me she needed time and space to think and see if she could be happy on her own. We sat down and talked about it and seemed to resolve the situation. Six days after I was gone she hit me with the same thing. At first I flipped out and text, called, and e-mailed her and think I pushed her further away. Then I finally said I agree and have been giving her space. Is there any hope she will come back? I love her so much and am so confused as what to do. She said we were on a break but not single and that she still loves me.
  • Sep 10, 2009, 08:35 AM
    talaniman

    You leave her alone, until she gets all the space she needs, (no telling how long that will take ) and has thought for as long as she has to (that could be forever ).

    Talaniman Rule-Disappear from the life of someone who is confused about being with you.

    Quote:

    She said we were on a break but not single and that she still loves me.
    It is unacceptable for you to agree to sit and wait in limbo. While someone is figuring things out about being with you. Your going to feel really foolish when you get all the facts about this break, and trust me, she doesn't seem to be confused about NOT being with you.

    Disappear from her life. Get your own, and love yourself enough to not let her put you through this misery and pain, as obviously you need her too much, but she doesn't need you at all.

    Read my signature very carefully, and check the stickies link, it should give you some insights into what's going on, and a plan for you to deal with your situation.
  • Sep 10, 2009, 08:50 AM
    I wish

    We have no idea if she will come back, but she asked for it and you have to give it to her.

    Focus on yourself for the time being. Focus on moving forward with your life. Don't put your life on hold for her. If she comes back, then great! If she doesn't, at least you will be in a better position to move on with your life.

    She's obviously feeling really confused and her feelings for you might even have changed. There's nothing you can do about that, because feelings cannot be forced. All you can do is accept her feelings and go from there.
  • Sep 10, 2009, 01:58 PM
    Aaren92

    I'm sort of in the same situation, I'm really sorry to hear about that, I know exactly how you feel. It sucks giving her space, but show her that you want to be with her, show her that you'll do anything to be with her, and you really do love her. If that doesn't work hopefully giving her space will make her miss you and she'll realize what she's lost and that she needs you. I know it's hard to move on and do other things, trust me I know. But don't force her into anything. Just show her you care, show her you love her, and she'll come back :)
  • Aug 24, 2011, 04:24 PM
    live_it88
    I hear yah billy! My girlfriend of a little over 5 moths just said the same thing recently. We had some rough patches mostly dealing with a little jealousy on both our parts but everything over the past 2 weeks has been pretty good. I v'e grown to love this girl. She told me this just last night and I'm still tore up about it. She said that she doesn't want to break up right now but that she wants space because she wants to figure things out because out of nowhere she started 2nd guessing things in her life. Me included. I talked to her today and she said that she just wants a few days to think over things. As much as I want to think she'll come back to me I'm unsure at this point. In my eyes I couldn't go without seeing someone I love you know? I can't tell you what you should do but I can tell you what I've decided I'm going to do and that is to give her the space she asked for. Things chased run instinctively whether its in the physical world or in this case mental. It hurts like hell but I feel that if I don't give her the space she wants ill lose her for good. 6 months is also when people feel the need to move forward in a relationship to the next stage. Feelings become more strong and come on stronger because now when you look at the girl person you love. You are starting to intergrate that person into your life and you feel the need to contemplate plans for the future. Can I marry this person? Will I have kids with this person? Will they leave me in the future? It's scary stuff bro. I would be lying if I told you I have not cried or felt helpless. The girl you have come to love beyond a shadow of doubt has expressed some sort of doubt. You must let her have her space because whether she's interested in someone else, doesn't want to hurt you by breaking up, has done something that she knows would hurt you, or if she's really just wanting sometime to think about things because she really loves you and is scared and unsure of the future, There is nothing we can do about it. That's painful for a man to accept. The fact that he is powerless and at the feet of another living thing. I have read a lot of these things and have come to the conclusion that I am going to give her the space she wants. I am not going to call her or text her. I'm still contemplating whether I'm going answer her next phone call but I'm sure ill find an excuse to do so. Keep your head up! Let's keep talking on this page that helps as well

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