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-   -   How can I find my father if I don't know where he is? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=394849)

  • Sep 9, 2009, 10:37 AM
    Daryls_daughter
    How can I find my father if I don't know where he is?
    I'm looking for my birth father, obviously *points at username* his name is daryl but all I know is he left before I was born, my mom won't tell me if he's on my birth certificate, I can't get to my birth certificate and his last known where abouts were Texas and his mom may or may not still be living in Oklahoma
  • Sep 9, 2009, 12:44 PM
    justcurious55

    How old are you? And why can't you get to your birth certificate?
  • Sep 9, 2009, 12:45 PM
    ohsohappy

    I was going to ask the same thing.
  • Sep 9, 2009, 12:46 PM
    Fr_Chuck

    First you go get a copy ( order it online even) your birth certificate and you will know, since you say your mom won't show it to you, means you are well under 16 my guess and most certainly under 18.

    Have you asked aunts or uncles, other family friends about him
  • Sep 10, 2009, 09:46 AM
    Daryls_daughter

    Truth is I am 16, I've tried asking my family but since my father left before I was born they don't like the idea of me trying to find him, I can't really get to my birth certificate just yet because my moms been getting irratated with me asking about him, she thinks because she's over him I should be too
    Your right chuck, and because I am under 18 its extremely hard to find anything about him because most find a parent sites make you use credit cards (dont have one) or you have to be at least 18 or older,

    Would I be able to order one online without having to tell my mom?
  • Sep 10, 2009, 03:01 PM
    JudyKayTee

    I am concerned about this thread for two reasons: OP is 16 and policy has been not to assist anyone in finding a parent unless the child is of legal age; OP has advised another poster who has located the parent to keep (basically) harassing the parent who has been very specific about not wanting contact unless/until the parent caves in and makes contact. ("My opinion is that you should try to keep in contact with you or at least the surrounding family of his untill he gives up.") https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family...-394368-2.html

    I find this advice legally foolish (and questioned the age of the person posting it) and am concerned that OP will take that exact route if/when she locates her father.

    OP has also posted that her mother has a boyfriend, is considering marriage. OP does not want contact with the boyfriend now or following the marriage. This may or may not be a "father" issue. https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/other-...ml#post1971774

    This situation is on the legal boards fairly regularly and it is always painful for everyone but some contact should not be attempted until the child is of legal age. If the mother won't help I assume there's a reason - and a reason why no child support was ever paid.

    I cannot think of her name but many regulars will recall the female who sought her father out, contacted him and was rejected big time and ended up in Court arguing harassment and support.
  • Oct 5, 2009, 03:06 PM
    Daryls_daughter
    Thanks for the help everyone. And also thank you whoever sent me that annonomous email it really helped, I did talk to my mom about it, she was a little upset. Turns out my dad did and dealt pot, my mom told me he left because he said we were better off without him, his mother may still live in OK and my mom said she would help me find out if it was something I really needed to do.
    And yeah, thanks for the feedback, even though some of it discouraged me at first I can see the wisdom in it and it was true, I am extremely grateful for the help.
  • Oct 5, 2009, 03:12 PM
    Daryls_daughter
    JudyKaytee,
    I apologize for that message, I was upset and was extremely immature in how I reacted, I was infuriated at the thought of a father wanting nothing to do with his child and I was completely in the wrong. You are also correct in your sayings of "father issues". I did have them and I still do, although now I am relizing that even if others are going through the same thing I should not advise someone until I have made my own way through dealing with my issues instead of giving advice based on the heat of the moment.
    Thank you,
  • Dec 18, 2011, 11:46 PM
    stardust721
    I feel the same way as you, my father left when I was 2. I never really met him. All I know is his first and last name. My mom and grandparents HATE talking about him and I have no clue where my birth certificate is

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