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-   -   I'm torn between two guys, what should I do? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=394681)

  • Sep 8, 2009, 07:20 PM
    Kubanprincess19
    Im torn between two guys, what should I do?
    Im 19 years old and I consider myself pretty mature for my age, but Im in a situation that Ive never been before. OK here goes: When I started working where at my current job, the day after I started I met my manager's son, at first I didn't think anything of him because he was just her son to me(and the fact that he had a girlfriend at the time). Well month's after like I would say 5 or 6 months later he started to have problems with his girlfriend and we started to text each other. After like a few weeks that we started to go out on dates we did "it" (my first time) and I really wasn't looking for anything serious bcause he was still with his ex at the time. But then I started to get feelings for him and really falling in love with him, knowing that he was just in it for th sex. After like 5 months like that, I met a one of my bests friends brother and we started talking and getting to know each other. Now Guy no one, I feel is being more cosiderate with me and not treating me like his personal wore anymore. So now I'm getting to know this wondeful guy and I really like him, but every time that I see guy no one I forget about guy no2, and vise versa. Ive never been in this situation before and its killing me becase I feel like Im cheating on both even though I've never been "out" with them oficially. Am I a bad person or is this normal to have feeling for two guys at the same time?. Help what should I do?:confused:
  • Sep 8, 2009, 08:07 PM
    jimseekinadvice

    The fact he slept with you while he was still with his ex is reason enough not to pursue a further relationship. If he can do it to his ex he can do it to you as well. Your not a bad person to have feelings for two guys, its normal to be attracted to more than one person. Deciding on one person to pursue, and not stringing both along and playing them off each other is where the character judgement is applied.
  • Sep 8, 2009, 08:22 PM
    samuelvista
    Having feeling for more than one guy at a time is not bad and it is normal for every human being. But having relationship with more than one at a time is certainly bad. I won't blame the first guy as everything happened because your negligence. You realise very well that he is with you only for sex. Then why should you lose yourself to someone who is using you as a Sex machine.. So, if you feel that the 2nd guy values relationship and is really in Love with you, be honest to him. Because the foundation of Love is Trust and don't break the foundation.
  • Sep 8, 2009, 11:41 PM
    amicon

    Take time out and date neither.find some balance within yourself and be happy with who you are.
  • Sep 9, 2009, 06:01 AM
    I wish

    Guy #1 is a cheater (emotional or physical), so he's got an uphill battle. How are you able to trust him? How do you know he won't do the same to you? Can he really earn your trust?

    Guy #2 is still new. Keep talking to him and see where that leads.

    If you can't make a decision yet, then don't. But STOP HAVING SEX with guy #1! That complicates all matters. Just treat both guys as regular friends and keep getting to know them before you commit. As long as you don't commit to anyone, you're not leading them on. But eventually, you'll have to decide on one and cut the other one loose. But right now, you're not committed to anyone, so it's fair game. But again, STOP HAVING SEX with guy #1.
  • Sep 9, 2009, 06:20 AM
    MsMewiththat

    I would add too that it is probably not a good idea to have a casual relationship with your bosses son. At least while you are still emplpyed there. That could make things uncomfortable. I'm curious? If he was your first why did you choose him?
  • Sep 9, 2009, 10:34 AM
    talaniman
    Break off the friends with benefits relationship with the bosses son, and give yourself a lot of time to heal, and get perspective on your own actions, that allowed this behavior in the first place.

    Do this before you get involved with any one else on that kind of physical level. Your inexperience, and lust, will lead you down many paths that are not good for you, and will make many obstacles to being able to love yourself, and someone else.

    Intense feelings may not be love, no matter how good they feel. Its not unusual to be attracted to many people, but what you do about it is what's important, so don't be so hasty with jumping in the sack, just because your attracted to them.

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