Ask Me Help Desk - Did I make a mistake?

About two weeks ago my girlfriend of a one year mostly long distance relationship broke up with me. She and I had been fighting a lot about contact, and that I felt we hadn't been talking enough. She had just moved into an off campus dorm, and gotten a lot of new friends, and is taking more classes. Although I do feel like part of the problem was her feeling pressured and repressed, I should also mention that she's easily distracted and overcome by outside influences. Anyway, she broke up with me, saying that she couldn't spend as much time with me anymore. I was very hurt by this, and initiated no contact with her, thinking that I didn't want to keep knowing someone who doesn't prioritize her friends.

Since then I've semi forgiven her, but she keeps calling me now. Even though she's supposedly very busy, she calls me often, always chats to me when she sees me online. I've always ignored her, because I wasn't really ready to talk to her yet. But last night, she kept calling me again and again. Thinking something was wrong, or there was an emergency, I picked up. She wanted to talk to me, I guess. She said it was weird not talking to me so much. I told her that I was unhappy, just in general (which I am), and that I was confused.

With so many things to do in her life, she doesn't have a particular reason for calling me. I can only assume that she's doing so cause she cares. Although she too admitted that she was confused, if she wanted me to be with her again, I'm sure it wouldn't be too difficult to say so.

I'm sorry for trying to answer my own questions, it's a bad habit of mine that comes from asking advice from too many people who don't care about my problems.

The mistake I'm wondering if I made is should I keep ignoring her? I don't even know if I want to be with her again, after being left like that, but somehow I sense that if I did, the best thing would be to talk to her again, and show her... something. And also, I'm just not the kind of person who feels comfortable constantly annoying someone who's simply trying to talk to me, and not asking for anything in return.

As hard as it is to go through this I feel it best to ignore her for now. Anything other than that is confusion and that just isn't fair. Once you break up with someone you don't get the pleasure of calling them whenever you feel the need... don't give her that pleasure and prioritize yourself to focusing on what really matters, your education.

She didn't care about your feelings when she broke up with you, you shouldn't care about hers when you decide to ignore her calls. If you are not ready to speak to her, then don't speak to her, don't worry about whether that hurts her. Her feelings are no longer a priority.

Even if you are unhappy, don't give the person the benefit of hearing it. Instead, you're strong, and fine, and doing just dandy as far as she's concerned.

I say do NC for yourself starting... yesterday :).

You say you don't know if you would want to be with her ever again. You need some to not contact her, so you won't be confused anymore because with her around it would only cloud your thoughts. What ever you decide later, it should be the best for you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by slough

About two weeks ago my girlfriend of a one year mostly long distance relationship broke up with me. She and I had been fighting a lot about contact, and that I felt we hadn't been talking enough. She had just moved into an off campus dorm, and gotten a lot of new friends, and is taking more classes. Although I do feel like part of the problem was her feeling pressured and repressed, I should also mention that she's easily distracted and overcome by outside influences. Anyway, she broke up with me, saying that she couldn't spend as much time with me anymore. I was very hurt by this, and initiated no contact with her, thinking that I didn't want to keep knowing someone who doesn't prioritize her friends.

Dude you never argue with a woman! You'll never win... don't do it.. Dude quit rationalizing her actions. The bottom factor is that she loss interest... bottom line. Look at reality.

Quote:

Originally Posted by slough

The mistake I'm wondering if I made is should I keep ignoring her? I don't even know if I want to be with her again, after being left like that, but somehow I sense that if I did, the best thing would be to talk to her again, and show her...something. And also, I'm just not the kind of person who feels comfortable constantly annoying someone who's simply trying to talk to me, and not asking for anything in return.

Dude this girl is a loony... she's pulling out so many mixed signals its crazy! Go NO CONTACT WITH THIS GIRL...

When a girl has high interest in you, they don't confuse you... they help you!!

No Contact will end your confusion, since you can't be honest with her, or yourself.

I agree with tal. No contact will give you the time and space to get yourself together.anything but complete N C only adds to the confusion and it slows down your own ability to heal.