Hi the problem that I am basically is that my husband does not find me beautiful . He was married before and he said the reason why he married her was because she was very beautiful . I was also married before and I had a child with my first husband ,I was very sexy ,I was thin ,the perfect body not to say that I am very fat now .I just can't lost the weight after I gave birth . I still look after myself and I try my best to look good for my new husband .but the fact that he told me that his first wife was beautiful works on me and I think to myself ,what am I ,Im I not good enough for him ,I try my best to make him happy ,he comes home to a perfect house and everything ,all I ask for is just for him to show me that he loves me and that I am beautiful.when I ask him why he married me he says that I cook very well and I am a very nice wife . I hate looking at myself .I feel ugly and fat all the time . I cry every day what must I do ,can someone help me please .

How do you know that your husband does not find you beautiful? Has he actually said so?

His first wife may very well have been beautiful, but he's not with her anymore is he? He's with you and he chose to marry you.

It sounds to me as if you are depressed and lacking confidence because the shape of your body has changed since birth. It also sounds to me as if you are insecure about your husband's feelings for you and are focusing on 'your beauty' as the issue rather than having a good think about what the real issue for your unhappiness is.

You know that beauty IS in the eye of the beholder, and that being a good loving person is MUCH more important that being beautiful - whatever that means.

If your husband is not as loving as you would like then you need to speak to him about that and try to understand if here is a real basis for your insecurity.

It sounds like you are beautiful inside, which is much more important than skin-deep beauty. Perhaps changing your hair style and makeup routine or getting advice about your clothing would help you feel better about yourself.

Even if your husband married his ex because she was beautiful, he didn't stay married to her. Did he ever tell you why they split? YOU are the one he chose because you give him a stable and comfortable home life. Beauty doesn't provide that.

Sounds like you have some self-esteem issues. Why do you feel as long you have to live up to his expectations? You should be yourself and he should be able to appreciate you for who you are. There's no reason for you to change just for him. If he doesn't like you for you, then he doesn't really like you at all.

We change as we get older, have children, deal with day-to-day stresses, and live. The ideals of beauty change too. I am very certain that he doesn't look the same as when he married his first wife. She probably doesn't look the same either.

I found some words of wisdom in another thread that I think may help if you truly believe them (yes, I did do a slight edit):

"hi i had the same problem like you but i learnt one thing in life ,you need to believe in yourself and trust yourself ...when you look in that mirror ,tell yourself all the time i am beautiful and no one can take that away from me . believe thats all" https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/beauty...ul-292239.html

Believe in yourself as you told that other person to believe in herself.

There is nothing more beautiful in the world than a woman who believes she is beautiful.

There is nothing more beautiful than someone with self confidence. My wife's sister is almost 300 lbs, but I find her sexy because of her self confidence and she is just a blast to be around.

Also, if you feel like you need to drop a few pounds, it isn't as hard as you may think... I would recommend getting a heart-monitor type watch and setting it up to 50-85% of your max heart rate... that is the fat-burning to cardio target zone. A few 20-minute walks around the block with the baby during the week with your heart within that target zone, and the weight will fall off right before your eyes! Promise! Hope this helps...

Some people are just shallow, seems like you married one.

How does HE look? Is HE magnificent?

Besides, true beauty is on the inside, when you understand THAT, the little things are irrelevant. You are beautiful to a homeless person, a neglected child, a lonely elder.

Why spend your life trying to figure out whether you are worthy of your partner's adoration?

What, will he trade you in for another if you fall below his standards?

A person with confidence exudes beauty. Find a way to feel good about yourself first. You have to love yourself the way you are, in order for someone else to. Then he if doesn't feel that way too, find someone who can appreciate you for who you are.

OP,

First of all, did he say so?

Anyway, I don't think you need to improve yourself for your husband. You need to improve yourself because you want to, because you want to be at a healthy weight, because you want to look in the mirror and be comfortable with yourself. What has happened in your marriage that he is treating you this way? Do you feel you are overweight? Does a doctor say you are overweight? Just cause your husband says you are ugly doesn't make it true.
The real first step you need to make is to see a counselor on how to cope with your husband and the situation you are in. Next, if you think you are overweight, go to a doctor. See what they say and have them help you with a diet and exercise plan.

As far as your looks, if you are uncomfortable with your appearance, next time you are scheduled to get your hair cut talk to you hair dresser, or go to a Belk's, JCPenny's, Merle Norman. You can get a make-over or make up tips for your skin type for free at these places usually.
If you noticed though, all my suggestions are dependent upon how YOU feel about yourself. Take care of yourself before him, emotionally and physically.

Besides all that... does he look like Brad Pitt? George Clooney? Will Smith? Is he some gorgeous man? Does he have a six-pack? What is his job? Think of his situation and what he is before you get too down on yourself. Also, connect with your best girlfriends that you trust and have them help you.

P.S. As a woman, you always need to take care of yourself, go to the gym and eat healthy, no excuse for not doing so!