Ask Me Help Desk - Should I break up with my girlfriend?

This is going to be long, so I apologize in advance.

Okay, I'm a 17 year old guy who is dating a 15 year old girl. I feel very affectionate towards her and everything. I love being around her and I can spend hours with her and it feels like minutes. We talk on the phone every day and every night. We fall asleep on the phone together all the time. I think she is beautiful, smart, funny, and caring. We talk about everything. We've both told each other "I love you" millions of times, probabaly every day. Sounds like a great realationship right?

Well, wrong. I put up with a lot of . A lot. First of all, the guys. There is a seemingly endless supply of dudes that call and text her all the time. We will be on the phone and she'll say "Oh, Eric is calling, I'll call you back, or "Oh Evan," or "Oh Jonny is txting me hold on" etc. I don't know what they are calling about but it's annoying. I had her phone once and she got a txt from a guy named Arron. The txt said "oh baby I'm so horny" ? I confront her about it and she says dont worry about it, the kid is 14 and has a girlfriend. Well then why the hell is he txting you?! Then theres Kenny, a kid that she says shes never met, who wont leave her alone. She leaves her phone at my house,he txts her, I txt back pretending to be her, and we get into an argument, and he says "if you don't leave me alone I will put those nude pics you sent me on the interent" WHAT THE HELL?! Lets not forget about Eric, who she ALWAYS hangs up on me to talk to. She says that she's just concerned about him because he is really emotional and she doesn't want him to do anything stupid. And this guys has never met me but I've heard from about 4 or 5 people that he wants to fight me? What about Abdul, some guy that she said forced her to give him a blow job in a movie theater? Or the 19 year old guy that she dated for a while who she says keeps bothering her. I could go on and on but I won't.

But the guys aren't the only problem. She's bossy and controlling. She littlerally tells me what to do when we are together. There usually isn't any asking. Its "Bryce, do this"Bryce, do this"Bryce, come with me to do that" etc. And everything has to be done perfectly, to her standard. If its not done right she gets really irritated and won't calm down. She gets really why if I don't do what she says, but if I just force myself to do whatever she wants she's fine. Its annoying as hell.

She's also unbelievebly needy. I mean I like it in a weird sort of way because I love being with her and talking to her and stuff, but there is a limit. I will be with my friends, and she'll call and say she just needs to talk to me. About nothing. And if I tell her I'm busy and I will call her back she gets all pouty, and once or twice even started crying?! She keeps me on the phone all night almost every night, and I don't usually mind it, but school is starting and I can't stay on the phone till 3 and get up at 6. It just can't happen.

And then last but not least there is sexual party of our relationship, lets just keep it short, I have to do all this stuff for her, but I pretty much never get anything in return.

So, my question again is, should I break up with her? I mean, I love her company, and she is by far the prettiest, hottest, most good-looking girlfriend I've ever had. I love her personality when she's not being y, and I think about her all the time. I honestly sometimes feel like I love her, but I don't know if its worth it. HELP!!

Your question was, "Should I break up with my girlfriend", and my answer is, "Yes, for all the reasons you've provided in your post."

Yes you should break up with her.

Too many RED FLAGS...

Case closed, Mystery solved...

Good luck

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she is by far the prettiest, hottest, most good-looking girlfriend I've ever had

OK, fair enough. But, what about

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She's bossy and controlling. She literally tells me what to do when we are together.

? And, also

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everything has to be done perfectly, to her standard. If its not done right she gets really irritated and won't calm down

And let's not forget

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She's also unbelievably needy

That could explain why she has all these guys texting her all the time. In my opinion, the bad far outweighs the good here. I won't tell you to break up with her, you need to decide that for yourself. But to me, the choice would be obvious.

I guess I am just writing this because I am better at expressing how I feel on paper rather than in words. I’ve always had a gift and a talent when it came to writing, which is why I chose to write this out and let you read it rather than having me just tell you in person.
First of all I want to let you know that every time I have told you I loved you I truly meant it. I honestly have fallen in love with you. I know it sounds stupid and immature of me to say, I mean…after all we are only teenagers. But I believe that you can experience love at any age. So just know that when I said I love you, every time I knew what I was saying, and I meant it.
Here’s the thing though. Just because I love you, doesn’t mean that I’m afraid to lose you. I’m not. I don’t want to lose you, but I’m not afraid to lose you. And recently the way that you’ve been treating me has caused me to question whether I should stay with you.
There are so many examples and situations that I could bring up as proof of how stressful being with you has become, but I really don’t feel like making a list. This letter isn’t meant to be rude; it isn’t in any way an angry letter. Rather, it is a letter outlining the feelings about you and me that I’ve been having over the past few weeks.
Firstly, you’re criticism. The way that you talk to me without even realizing it. The things that you say. It’s hard to think that you aren’t doing it on purpose. Telling me what other people say to you about us, seems like a roundabout way to make me change.
Telling me the stupid things that people say about me makes me feel like . I mean, I can think of plenty of things that people have said to me about you, but I keep them to myself because I respect you’re feelings. It’s just…the way that you talk about me, like I’m you’re property. Like I’m something you own. Telling me what to do, how to dress, how to walk, what way to wear my hair…its overwhelming. Last night on the phone you crushed me and I don’t even think you realized it. Like I said, no detailed examples, but if you can’t figure it out then there is something wrong.
Then there’s the way that you treat you’re dad. It honestly pisses me off. I don’t know much about him, but you treat him the same way you treat me. Like you’re property. When you ask him to do something, if he does it there’s no problem. But the second he challenges you, you turn into a complete and total . It’s a trend and I hate it. You do the same thing to me. It’s no wonder he gets annoyed with you and tries to avoid you. I’m considering doing the same thing and I’ve only been with you three months.
Then there are all the guys. All the guys that are constantly calling and texing you. It seems endless. Eric, Ron, Kenny, Abdul, Mark, Aaron, Connor,… on and on and on... I mean, I don’t believe that you cheated on me, I honestly don’t. And I don’t judge people by their past because I have a messy one myself, but when all the guys from you’re past can’t seem to leave you alone, there’s a problem. Believe it or not I have girls that I’ve been with before that still try and talk to me, and I tell them over and over that I’m taken and they should move on. It gets irritating when I’m with you and you get txt messages from three different guys while we are together. Or when we are on the phone and you switch over to take a call from another guy, or stop to txt some other guy. It makes me feel like you are bored with me, and if you are then we shouldn’t be together.
I know I’m not the most gorgeous thing to grace the earth, but honestly neither are you. I think you are beautiful, but you aren’t god’s gift to earth from heaven. I don’t need you to complain about how I look or dress, just like you wouldn’t like me to complain about the way you dress or how you wear you’re makeup. If you have a concern then just mention it, like the slouching thing, and I’ll work on it, but the way you do it just makes me feel like you don’t think I’m attractive. And again, if you don’t think I’m attractive then we probably shouldn’t be together.
Like I said, I’m not upset at all. This isn’t a break up letter, unless you want to break up after reading it. It’s not even a letter saying that we should take a break, or anything of the sort. It’s just my thoughts on paper. You might think of it as a wake up call though. Because I’m letting you know that I’m not going to stay with you if you keep acting the way you have been. I know I have some work to do myself, and I am trying to change, but this letter isn’t about me and what I need to work on. It’s about you. Keep the memories of us you have, because if things don’t get better soon there won't be many more. I really want us to work, I really do, but if things don’t its not going to be the end of the world. I’m not going to sit around and wait to see if you are going to change. I love you, and losing you would nearly kill me, but…truthfully I’d survive. Call me if you want to talk.

Hey man.

Please don't send this letter. Firstly, your telling your girlfriend how you feel by writing her a letter? Communication is a big thing in relationships and so it is obviously means something is amiss in that category.

You repeatedly say that your not angry or upset. Sure, that's why you wrote the letter, your overcome with joy and happiness.

Mentioning she is not the most attractive girl in world is not something I'd say to an enemy let alone my girl.

Saying you don't think she's cheating on you but listing all the reasons one would think she is cheating on you is neither smart nor advantagous to your position.

I could go on but really, talk to her. Also, when you talk to her it may help to not go into too much detail, tell her your upset with certain things and you'd like to work them out. Honestly, I doubt she even accused herself of being God's gift to the world yet you belittle her to show your modesty?? Pick the main things that upset you, leave out the little things you can get over and see how it goes.

All the best.

P.S. Save your writing skills for a letter in which you can express how much you care and lovesomeonerather than writing creatively on how someone irks you. I'm sure it will be good.

Okay, so I've posted here before asking if I should break up with my girlfriend. Most of you all said yes. But I decided that I couldn't do it and I would tough it out and it would get better. I thought that my girlfriend would go ballistic if I broke up with her.

But now she's saying that SHE wants a break! I couldn't believe it. Here's the thing though, I don't want to take one. I mean, for a while I considered breaking up with her, but now that she wants to take a break, I'm down and out about it. She says that she just needs some time and when we get back together that our relationship will have its spark back and if it doesn't then it wasn't meant to be.

I told her that I would do whatever it took to make us work, and that I didn't want to take a break, I just wanted her to give me a chance to prove it could go back to the way it was without a break. And she said that only thing that I needed to do to make us work, was to be there for her when when we get back together. That's it.

She said that she is with 100% certainty going to get back with me, she just needs some time away. I just need some advice. I want to call her like... every second of the day, but I force myself not to. I've called her once since our break (about three days ago) and we talked for about 2 minutes.

I just don't want to be strung along, and/or feel this crappy until we get back together. Help!!

A break in a relationship is a break up!

If your not working on the problems together,and go your separate ways to 'sort your head out'.. its a break up!

She said she'll come back,maybe she will,if she sees that the relationship is not for her,will she still follow through with her 100% guarantee?

You can't make people stay with you,and you can't make them love you.

No reason why she could not work on the problems while she was with you, she wants a break because she does not want to see you,or be with you,right now anyway.

Please keep all questions regarding the same issue in the same thread so that we can follow your story and give you appropriate advice.

It's not about what you want. She asked for a break, so you have to respect her decision.

Leave her alone and do your own thing. She already knows that you want to work things out. Remember, a relationship takes hard work from both people involved. So if she doesn't want to put the same effort, then there's nothing you can do. So give her time and space to figure out whether she wants to put the same effort as well.

She won't come back to you most probably. She is asking you to wait for her. That is just insane and so selfish!

My ex asked the same thing, to wait and wait and wait, while she enjoyed herself with other guys while I didn't know about it. In the end she went with someone else without thinking two seconds about me. Is that what you want? Waiting for month and then getting really dumped? I doubt that.

It is over. Look at all the threads all situations looks similarly. You should move on and heal from now on and not wait for her. You deserve someone much better than her.

I'm in the same situation as you, my friend. I spent much of the past few months wondering if she was the girl for me and whether I was wasting my time. Then out of nowhere, she's the one who wants the break and I'm torn apart about it. I want to spend the rest of my life with this girl and as bad as it sounds, I didn't really realize it until she was no longer mine. I know there are many skeptics out there saying that it's just the shock and I should get over it etc etc and to be quite honest, that would be my advice to my friends as well. I can't do it though. I really want to be with her but I, like anyone else, don't want this to drag out longer than it has to. She says she needs time to heal from the garbage I put her through which is why I'm giving her the time she needs. We still talk from time to time and we see each other once every two weeks or so just to hang out. I'd rather not be dragged down by her so despite the fact that it's only fair that I give her time, I do have to put a limit on that for my own well being. So my advice is if you REALLY think she's going to want you back and you're REALLY sure you want her back, then wait it out man and it'll be worth it in the end. You just have to find stuff in the meantime to fill that void. I joined a gym! That all being said, don't just let 6 months go by. If you're being patient and doing what she wants, you deserve a progress report of sorts every month or so just to see how she's doing and to see what steps she's making as well. If you think at any point she's not doing her share and you don't like where it's going, get out. If not, be patient and when you think about it, what's a few months off if it means you can spend the rest of your lives together?

In any case, best of luck to you. The good news is, no matter what our respective women do to us and put us through in these situations, it's a learning experience and it'll help us in the future, with or without them.

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Originally Posted by Apunasatapulo

There is a seemingly endless supply of dudes that call and txt her all the time. We will be on the phone and she'll say "Oh, Eric is calling, I'll call you back, or "Oh Evan," or "Oh Jonny is txting me hold on" etc. I don't know what they are calling about but it's annoying.

This is all I needed to read. I read some of the other responses and her being needy, she probably wants you there all the time day in and day out right? When you want to do something with your friends she wants to tag along or constantly sends you messages while you are with your friends? Perhaps she doesn't because she is talking to other guys. Either way it goes, if you both have an understanding that you are in a monogamous relationship and she is talking to other guys at the same time, well then you need to get out. She won't stop, I mean she is only 15 and not thinking about marriage I promise you.

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Originally Posted by Apunasatapulo

First of all I want to let you know that every time I have told you I loved you I truly meant it. I honestly have fallen in love with you. I know it sounds stupid and immature of me to say, I mean…after all we are only teenagers. But I believe that you can experience love at any age. So just know that when I said I love you, each and every time I knew what I was saying, and I meant it.
Here’s the thing though. Just because I love you, doesn’t mean that I’m afraid to lose you. I’m not. I don’t want to lose you, but I’m not afraid to lose you. And recently the way that you’ve been treating me has caused me to question whether I should stay with you. .

LOVE is commitment. THIS is not love. You are a teenager yes, and teenagers CAN experience love if they are serious and committed... but if you aren't in this relationship for the long haul (yes, I mean marriage) then you will break up. The truth is, if you're not planning on getting married, assume you are planning to break up. Most teenagers are in it just because they have the hottest girl or guy, because they want to be popular, or because there's so much pressure on our generation to have a girlfriend or guyfriend (I'm only 19... just a couple years older than you, but I know most high school relationships are a joke.) a total of 4% of high school relationships end in marriage- that means most of them won't.
You need to break up with this disrespectful, immature girl- and wait to date again until you are ready to be serious, and have a relationship with another person that is serious as well. (also, you should probably get to know the girl BEFORE you start dating. If you had known this girl had 10 trillion dudes after her, and she was trying to please them all, and that she is so high-maintenece, would you have even considered dating her??
My point exactly: get to know girls as FRIENDS before you decide to date. Had you done that, you wouldn't be about to break up, should you decide to.

Well buddy we are in the exact situtation read my question and you'll see how fimilar it is.well you see if you really love this girl you should fight for her like I don't know tell her you don't want her talking to those guys.you do everything for her the least she can do is listen to you cause if my girlfriend tell me that dudes rr doing all that to her wooo boy I'd leave her cause damn that's really messed up after all you do ylshe treats you badly don't stand for that I'd say leave her but if you deeply love her and want it longer you should talk to her and try to fix it

Ok first of listen to what you wrote.. put yourself in another person's shoes reading this.. what would you tell them? Your question; should I break up with my girlfriend? Yea I do think you should break up with her no matter how strong you feel for her.. I went through this experience with a guy of course and I had to learn the hard way to let go and it will take time. If you don't want to keep going with this and she drives you nuts then why are you still with her? You are still young and you can find somebody better than her. And don't be dumb, about the nude pictures, That's JUST WRONG!