My situation is kind of weird. I live with my best friend, I love her dearly and really do not want to disrespect her in any way. The reason I say this is weird is her current bf( in which she has a child with) I dated briefly... very briefly so it doesn't even matter. She hooked up with him and than we became super close friends. Now that being said. A former flame of hers has come into the picture. They have been friends for a very long time, while I knew they had a past we began chatting online, I casually mentioned it a few times, and she never seemed to care. Now things are somewhat progressing and I am starting to develop serious feelings for him. I have talked to her about it. And one minute she seems OK with it and the next she is flying off the handle. Mind you I can't say for sure what will happen if things will work or not (we do live 6 hours away from one another) We are both interested in each other and just hope and pray she will lighten up on it. Is it unrealistic to hope she will? Is this going to kill my friendship? Should I just walk away? They dated for 2 years... mostly high school... They have been broken up for over well over two years. Just today she turned to me and said" if things work with you guys... look out for ...." no now she seems OK with it? I don't know. Someone told me to trust my gut. I love her to death, but I care for him too now. She is adamnet there is no unresolved issues between them. What do you think?

I think d main questions u need to ask yourself is :-

Who is more important to you?
and
Who do u value the most out of the 2?
and
put yourself in her shoes and how would u seriously feel?

I agree with Krs on this! Also... how long did this guy (you are interested in) and your best friend date? Were they ever serious?

Shoud I date my best friend's ex?. no.

Its called respect, loyalty and sensibility. Unless you hang with a crowd where y'all hold little value for your own feelings or each others?

You ask this of your friend in light of the fact that there are many many many other people to date and make yourself look unworthy of friendship in the process.

Its awkward, isn't it? There is the answer. But then again I am like Miss Manners if she were like an aging hippy :rolleyes:

Take heart to the comments others are telling you... I have done this once before... and even though I asked her permission( which it doesn't matter anyways) This is TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE, you will feel horrible after the fact and wish you could reverse the situation. If I had the chance to do it all over again I would NEVER even think about it. Have respect for yourself and others. By the way that relationship I destroyed my friendship for is now over. I lost both ways. This was about 7 years ago.
Currenlty in a new relationship with whom I love very much... and would be livid if any of my friends even thought about touching him. I am very sorry I did this to my dear friend still today... If I can save one person from the pain... I will tell you from experience... NEVER Date any of our friends ex's EVER... Take care of yourself and make the right choice.

In the end be prepared to lose one of them. If you hook up with him she will leave you as a friend. If you choose her, he's going too. It's a sticky situation so you have to decide who is more important to you.

U know what if you feel a lot for this guy and believe that he feels the same then go for it cause if she is truly a friend she would understand and you said they have been broke up for two yrs guess what it is selfish for her to act like a little high school girl. But why sit there and wonder if this guy might have been the right guy for you u won't cause your are too afraid to take the chance. If all goes great then you have the love that everyone is looking for if not well the friendship is there if it is true just be preparede to hear I told you so. So go with your heart take a chance and remember. A chance not taken is a chance that will haunt you for the rest of your days of wondering maybe if I would have done it?

I know it is cliché, but it is nothing but truth: Friends first in a situation like this.

She is not okay with it. If she was, there wouldn't be mixed signals. It might sound neanderthal, but her ex is of limits if she exhibits ANY lingering emotions attached to him - which she does. Otherwise, she would not be acting territorial.

My advice? Put an end to the progressing relationship with the guy. It will be hard at first, but will get easier with each passing day. The best part? You will be living your life with integrity.

My mama always says:
Boys come and go but friends are for a lifetime.

Is this friendship something you want to risk?

First of all it depends on how long they were together, seeing that she did the same to you and had a baby with dude... you didn't get upset did you? Also, it shouldn't matter because she is already in a relationship and as you being her friend she should be happy for you, the only issuse you are going to have is that if it doesn't work out with dude then she might be there doing the told you so dance instead of giving you support..

Is he the only guy in town or what?

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Is he the only guy in town or what?

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If so, I'm moving to that town!

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Originally Posted by leeleeflash

My situation is kinda weird. I live with my best friend, i love her dearly and really do not want to disrespect her in any way. The reason i say this is weird is her current bf( in which she has a child with) I dated briefly.... very briefly so it doesn't even matter. She hooked up with him and than we became super close friends. Now that being said. A former flame of hers has come into the picture. They have been friends for a very long time, while i knew they had a past we began chatting online, I casually mentioned it a few times, and she never seemed to care. Now things are somewhat progressing and i am starting to develop serious feelings for him. I have talked to her about it. And one minute she seems ok with it and the next she is flying off the handle. Mind you I can't say for sure what will happen if things will work or not (we do live 6 hours away from one another) We are both interested in eachother and just hope and pray she will lighten up on it. Is it unrealistic to hope she will? Is this gonna kill my friendship? should i just walk away? They dated for 2 years.... mostly highschool... They have been broken up for over well over two years. Just today she turned to me and said" if things work with you guys... look out for ...." no now she seems ok with it? I dunno. Someone told me to trust my gut. I love her to death, but i care for him too now. She is adamnet there is no unresolved issues between them. What do you think?

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Hello Leeleeflash OK this it what I think is you should never put a man between friends because your friend is some one who is there for you she's like a sister. If she says its OK its not. For whatever reason her and this guy broke up she could have been really hurt. My brother was between two girls who were best friends since forever Ashley was dating a man named Phil and she had a baby with. Well k was dating my brother for three years and broke up cause Kay wanted to be with phil. Well now my brothers with Ashley. Its too much drama. Kay and Ashley both hate each other. So don't cross that line called friendship. Trust me. He's probably not worth it. If your friends is your best. Who you tell everything thing to then its not worth the risk. You don't know if you and this guy will last. But your friendship with your friend is suppose to be 4 ever.Good luck.

Talk to your friend about ti and see if she cares or whatt she has to say and if she doesn't care then go for it but if she does then back off there is no reason to loose a friend over a boy

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Originally Posted by leeleeflash

My situation is kinda weird. I live with my best friend, i love her dearly and really do not want to disrespect her in any way. The reason i say this is weird is her current bf( in which she has a child with) I dated briefly.... very briefly so it doesn't even matter. She hooked up with him and than we became super close friends. Now that being said. A former flame of hers has come into the picture. They have been friends for a very long time, while i knew they had a past we began chatting online, I casually mentioned it a few times, and she never seemed to care. Now things are somewhat progressing and i am starting to develop serious feelings for him. I have talked to her about it. And one minute she seems ok with it and the next she is flying off the handle. Mind you I can't say for sure what will happen if things will work or not (we do live 6 hours away from one another) We are both interested in eachother and just hope and pray she will lighten up on it. Is it unrealistic to hope she will? Is this gonna kill my friendship? should i just walk away? They dated for 2 years.... mostly highschool... They have been broken up for over well over two years. Just today she turned to me and said" if things work with you guys... look out for ...." no now she seems ok with it? I dunno. Someone told me to trust my gut. I love her to death, but i care for him too now. She is adamnet there is no unresolved issues between them. What do you think?

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Dating a friend ex---can be extra trouble!! Also, too much excitement from your friends can be exhausting! Sometimes you need to exit and examine your feelings... You might need to exercise your mind to look for someone else!! ;)

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Originally Posted by leeleeflash

My situation is kinda weird. I live with my best friend, i love her dearly and really do not want to disrespect her in any way. The reason i say this is weird is her current bf( in which she has a child with) I dated briefly.... very briefly so it doesn't even matter. She hooked up with him and than we became super close friends. Now that being said. A former flame of hers has come into the picture. They have been friends for a very long time, while i knew they had a past we began chatting online, I casually mentioned it a few times, and she never seemed to care. Now things are somewhat progressing and i am starting to develop serious feelings for him. I have talked to her about it. And one minute she seems ok with it and the next she is flying off the handle. Mind you I can't say for sure what will happen if things will work or not (we do live 6 hours away from one another) We are both interested in eachother and just hope and pray she will lighten up on it. Is it unrealistic to hope she will? Is this gonna kill my friendship? should i just walk away? They dated for 2 years.... mostly highschool... They have been broken up for over well over two years. Just today she turned to me and said" if things work with you guys... look out for ...." no now she seems ok with it? I dunno. Someone told me to trust my gut. I love her to death, but i care for him too now. She is adamnet there is no unresolved issues between them. What do you think?

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Dating a friend 's ex---can be extra trouble!! Also, too much excitement from your friends can be exhausting! Sometimes you need to exit and examine your feelings... You might need to exercise your mind to look for someone else!! ;)

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Originally Posted by leeleeflash

My situation is kinda weird. I live with my best friend, i love her dearly and really do not want to disrespect her in any way. The reason i say this is weird is her current bf( in which she has a child with) I dated briefly.... very briefly so it doesn't even matter. She hooked up with him and than we became super close friends. Now that being said. A former flame of hers has come into the picture. They have been friends for a very long time, while i knew they had a past we began chatting online, I casually mentioned it a few times, and she never seemed to care. Now things are somewhat progressing and i am starting to develop serious feelings for him. I have talked to her about it. And one minute she seems ok with it and the next she is flying off the handle. Mind you I can't say for sure what will happen if things will work or not (we do live 6 hours away from one another) We are both interested in eachother and just hope and pray she will lighten up on it. Is it unrealistic to hope she will? Is this gonna kill my friendship? should i just walk away? They dated for 2 years.... mostly highschool... They have been broken up for over well over two years. Just today she turned to me and said" if things work with you guys... look out for ...." no now she seems ok with it? I dunno. Someone told me to trust my gut. I love her to death, but i care for him too now. She is adamnet there is no unresolved issues between them. What do you think?

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Dating a friend 's ex---can be extra trouble!! Also, too much excitement from your friends can be exhausting! Sometimes, you need to exit and examine your feelings... You might need to exercise your mind to look for someone else!! ;) A GOOD EXAMPLE: ( I LOVE HER TO DEATH)... (BUT I CARE FOR HIM, TOO!) Love is more powerful than CARE!!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by leeleeflash

My situation is kinda weird. I live with my best friend, i love her dearly and really do not want to disrespect her in any way. The reason i say this is weird is her current bf( in which she has a child with) I dated briefly.... very briefly so it doesn't even matter. She hooked up with him and than we became super close friends. Now that being said. A former flame of hers has come into the picture. They have been friends for a very long time, while i knew they had a past we began chatting online, I casually mentioned it a few times, and she never seemed to care. Now things are somewhat progressing and i am starting to develop serious feelings for him. I have talked to her about it. And one minute she seems ok with it and the next she is flying off the handle. Mind you I can't say for sure what will happen if things will work or not (we do live 6 hours away from one another) We are both interested in eachother and just hope and pray she will lighten up on it. Is it unrealistic to hope she will? Is this gonna kill my friendship? should i just walk away? They dated for 2 years.... mostly highschool... They have been broken up for over well over two years. Just today she turned to me and said" if things work with you guys... look out for ...." no now she seems ok with it? I dunno. Someone told me to trust my gut. I love her to death, but i care for him too now. She is adamnet there is no unresolved issues between them. What do you think?

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Dating a friend 's ex---can be extra trouble!! Also, too much excitement from your friends can be exhausting! Sometimes, you need to exit and examine your feelings... You might need to exercise your mind to look for someone else!! ;) A GOOD EXAMPLE: ( I LOVE HER TO DEATH)... (BUT I CARE FOR HIM, TOO!) Love is more powerful than CARE!! You can't excuse it!! They have a child together!!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by leeleeflash

My situation is kinda weird. I live with my best friend, i love her dearly and really do not want to disrespect her in any way. The reason i say this is weird is her current bf( in which she has a child with) I dated briefly.... very briefly so it doesn't even matter. She hooked up with him and than we became super close friends. Now that being said. A former flame of hers has come into the picture. They have been friends for a very long time, while i knew they had a past we began chatting online, I casually mentioned it a few times, and she never seemed to care. Now things are somewhat progressing and i am starting to develop serious feelings for him. I have talked to her about it. And one minute she seems ok with it and the next she is flying off the handle. Mind you I can't say for sure what will happen if things will work or not (we do live 6 hours away from one another) We are both interested in eachother and just hope and pray she will lighten up on it. Is it unrealistic to hope she will? Is this gonna kill my friendship? should i just walk away? They dated for 2 years.... mostly highschool... They have been broken up for over well over two years. Just today she turned to me and said" if things work with you guys... look out for ...." no now she seems ok with it? I dunno. Someone told me to trust my gut. I love her to death, but i care for him too now. She is adamnet there is no unresolved issues between them. What do you think?

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I think you should do what ever you think is right , you should ask yourself ,and I think it would be easier if you tallk with your best friend about it

I don't think it would be the right thing to do, unless your friend is OK with it. If she still has feelings for this guy then don't. You should talk it over with her and if she thinks so then go ahead. Don't push it, just wait a little more(if she's not comfortable). Things take time. All because you like him doesn't mean you have to go out with him. Just wait and when the time comes it will happen.