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-   -   A relationship I don't understand (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=393224)

  • Sep 3, 2009, 02:48 PM
    lovingmonkey14
    A relationship I don't understand
    K so there's this guy and we have a thing and that was like a couple weeks before school started, we were actually excited for school to start because then we could see each other all the time everyday. But it's just the opposite, school has started and now we never talk, and sometimes like when I don't see him and he sees me wouldn't u expect that he should come and like say hi or talk to you... well not in my situation, he thinks I always hve to come to him. And like one time I was talking to some other guy and I didn't see him and he got really mad at me, he obviously gets jellous when I talk to other guys and not him. So that where it leaves me now, he's mad and I don't know where I stand with him. I really really like him a lot but he just doesn't seem to get that, and he doesn't really say what he wants he's just always like k, OK, yup, I'm like can you say some else for once. So I need help!! Please.
  • Sep 3, 2009, 03:27 PM
    Scleros
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by lovingmonkey14 View Post
    I really really like him alot but he just doesn't seem to get that...so I need help

    No, actually, he needs help or at least maturation. I think you're doing OK, although you may have your work cut out. If he is just really dense or shy and consequently unsure of where he stands with you, take him aside and say "look, I really like you but I'm getting tired of doing all the work and communication. Plus, the jealousy thing, soooooo not cool. Get your act together, ok? we're good." Things that are obvious to you may not be obvious to him.

    You also have one thing working against you with some guys your age as far as the communication goes. Nothing will chase away an intelligent coherent thought faster for a guy than having the hottie he's interested in talking to him and looking at him longingly with your deep [insert color] eyes. *POOF*, the thoughts just evaporate and the poor guy is left standing there dumbfounded with an empty mind and maybe slightly drooling. Please, wield your power responsibly and compassionately.
  • Sep 3, 2009, 03:37 PM
    lovingmonkey14
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Scleros View Post
    No, actually, he needs help or at least maturation. I think you're doing ok, although you may have your work cut out. If he is just really dense or shy and consequently unsure of where he stands with you, take him aside and say "look, I really like you but I'm getting tired of doing all the work and communication. Plus, the jealousy thing, soooooo not cool. Get your act together, ok? we're good." Things that are obvious to you may not be obvious to him.

    You also have one thing working against you with some guys your age as far as the communication goes. Nothing will chase away an intelligent coherent thought faster for a guy than having the hottie he's interested in talking to him and looking at him longingly with your deep [insert color] eyes. *POOF*, the thoughts just evaporate and the poor guy is left standing there dumbfounded with an empty mind and maybe slightly drooling. Please, wield your power responsibly and compassionately.

    Well no, he knows I like him but just cause I talk to one of my guy friends then he like for some reason thinks I like the other guy I'm talking to. He's like insecure or something, and I'm really trying hard to make things work but he makes it like impossible. Like right now were not talking because he doesn't know if he still mad and because I don't know where I am with him, even though I asked him if we still have a things he just says I don't know. So I'm very mixed up right now. What should I say to him?
  • Sep 3, 2009, 11:57 PM
    Scleros
    If it were me, I'd tell him I wanted a strong confident man who knows what he wants and not some sensitive sissy who runs off and pouts every time I talk to another guy. But I have a talent for pissing people off, so maybe that wouldn't be the best for his fragile sensibilities. He is who he is. You either need to accept him as-is or make it clear that his behavior is a major turn-off for you and hope he is motivated to change. Also some folks, when upset need alone time to sort themselves out. Pestering him to define your relationship may only push him farther away. If this is his nature, relax and go with the flow. Let him know you're available to talk if/when he's ready and then leave him be. Does your school have a counselor you or he could talk to? His brooding behavior will not serve him well in the years to come and if there is a deeper reason for it it should be identified and addressed.

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