Ask Me Help Desk - Baby's mama

Baby's mama

OK this is my problem my husband has a baby girl... the mother is not me duh but she woint let him see her and he has to pay child support... I understand that but doesn't by law she has to let him see his child?. she talk sh*h about him and wants the money but she won't keep up to her end of the deal... and we have had some trouble paying this month but we are getting through this but now allover town everyone is saying that he is a dead beat dad and all this and if you ask how and were there are getting this imformation from they all say hmmm I don't know that right there has her writing all over it... and me being who I am I just want to knock the fu*k out of her its not even funny... somebody help me and show me thed light at the end of the road... what should I or he do I am all out of ideas... help me...

He has a legal right to see his child unless some court has decided otherwise, i.e. like he's been using drugs, or has a sexual addition problem, not that I am saying he does but you know, presents a danger to his child. He has that right even though he might not be paying child support. You say he is paying but it's not relevant, period he has a right to see his child.

She is endangering the child but the court won't do anything about it till there is a custdy hearing and they won't give him one till feb of next year so she is going to keep not answering the phone and running her mouth

Support him, but calm down and let him handle his own business. Stay out of it.

I understand your situation cause I'm in a similar one. If she doesn't want him to see his child then leave her, just do the court procedure and let them handle it. She probably have her own issues and you don't deal with it for her, let her sort herself out. U could get in a lot of trouble, she's just jealous of you. We know that its his right to see his child and he will, just tell him give it some time. Tell him that he is doing great by playing his part as a parent and don't study what others say or think. I give him nuff props for that, cause there is not so many good fathers out there. Leave it to time and the court to solve the problem of her not allowing him to see his child and continue being the smart ones.

Has a visitation order been established? If not then your husband should take her to court and get one established, and of course mention to the judge that she has refused to let him see his daughter. If there is one and she's not honoring it then he should take her to court as well and have her charged with contempt of court. While there, ask the judge to order her to stop making disparaging remarks about him to your neighbors ; his business where his daughter is concerned is just that ; his business (and that of the mother's) ; nobody else's. Surely these nosy neighbors of yours that are calling him a deadbeat must know what a bit_h she's being in not letting him see his own child ; that's a two-way street.

I think something's fishy here and you don't have your facts straight.

Quote:

Originally Posted by bugaboo21

she is endangering the child but the court wont do anything about it till there is a custdy hearing and they wont give him one till feb of next year so she is going to keep not answerin the phone and running her mouth

Is the court aware that she is endangering the child? Do you have substantial, concrete evidence to support this? If so and the court won't respond then he should contact whatever agency in your state oversees child protective services. This will get the court's attention and will get her removed from the mother's home. Your husband could then get temporary custody and that could pave the way for him getting permanent custody.

Quote:

Originally Posted by bugaboo21

ok this is my problem my husband has a baby girl...the mother is not me duh but she woint let him see her and he has to pay child support....i understand that but doesnt by law she has to let him see his child?....she talk sh*h about him and wants the money but she wont keep up to her end of the deal....and we have had some trouble paying this month but we are getting thru this but now allover town everyone is saying that he is a dead beat dad and all this and if you ask how and were there are getting this imformation from they all say hmmm i dont know that right there has her writting all over it....and me being who i am i just wanna knock the fu*k out of her its not even funny......somebody help me and show me thed light at the end of the road.....what should i or he do i am all out of ideas.....help me.......

Well I just want to let you know you are more then welcome to take her to court if he has a stable home and stable job, and there are no problems in the house hold and he is paying he should have no problem getting weekend custody, or even set up schudule, for him to have her 3 days on 4 days off type deal, if I were you I would scare her and say we need to set up an agreement as adults because this is a child involved and we do not with this child to be brought up the wrong way, don't be mean to her there is a motive for her madness ! Just trry to make her feel comfortable with you so she will be comfortable leaving her child with him! I think that will be the best way! I actually have a low life father for my daughter, but the only reason he deosnt see her is because he doesn't make an attempt! He always makes excuses so just be careful and make her happy so the child satys happy!

Quote:

Originally Posted by bugaboo21

ok this is my problem my husband has a baby girl...the mother is not me duh but she woint let him see her and he has to pay child support....i understand that but doesnt by law she has to let him see his child?....she talk sh*h about him and wants the money but she wont keep up to her end of the deal....and we have had some trouble paying this month but we are getting thru this but now allover town everyone is saying that he is a dead beat dad and all this and if you ask how and were there are getting this imformation from they all say hmmm i dont know that right there has her writting all over it....and me being who i am i just wanna knock the fu*k out of her its not even funny......somebody help me and show me thed light at the end of the road.....what should i or he do i am all out of ideas.....help me.......

Wow I went an even still go through this. Let me just tell you The courts always favor the mother which sux. I want to beat my boyfriends kids mom up to but I never would I couldn't do that to his son hurt his mommy. I don't know but good luck hope things get better I feel for you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by He_comes_with_baggage

Wow i went an even still go through this. Let me just tell you The courts always favor the mother which sux.

Yes they do. What's worse is there are a ton of great fathers who would love to spend time with their kids and the courts and mothers team up against them, never considering the welfare of the child.

I am in a situation that hasn't gotten to that point but I fear it will because she wants to be with him. What if he is more laid back and doesn't and I just want to make sure it never gets to that point.

Quote:

Originally Posted by talaniman

Support him, but calm down and let him handle his own business. Stay out of it.

The thoughts, actions, and feelings, of another, you can't control, but your action,s when life throws you curves, is something you can control.