Ask Me Help Desk - I Changed my phone number after breakup, Now I feel AWFUL

I Changed my phone number after breakup, Now I feel AWFUL

Ey everyone,

Im fairly new to this site, and I have few questions... My girlfriend and I have had a rocky relationship for 5 years, and there is no doubt that I love her and she loves me. WEe've been breaking up and getting back together often recently, and the last time we broke up, I slept with someone, and I was devisted when I found that she did the same thing... Since then we got back together, but this past week I said some off the wall means things because I felt she didn't want to hear me vent about the day I had at work... I posted some hurtful things on Facebook that my cousin who is her best friend relayed back to her. I;ve since then deleted my cousin as a friend, just for stirring up the drama even more. My cousin is in an abusiverelationship with her husband so I figured she wanted to rile things up.

When I apologized the next morning she just said she wants me out of her life because she is tired of this stressful pattern(in which I can understand). This incident happened on Tuesday 8/25/09. She told me she was through on Thursday. We have a history of this and getting back together I will tell you now... Since that time She's blocked me from facebook(she wasn't my friend on there to begin with) & blocked calls from me/sent me to voicemail frequently... It is very hard for me to sleep, I do keep busy at work and at the gym... this works, but there's the long nights... All I can imagine is her being sexual with someone else due to what happened the last time we broke up.

Thursday- Sunday she has not responded to my texts and I can't get through as it goes to voicemail. On Friday night she did send me a text saying she did not get back to me on thursdays because God was dealing with her and she was praying. After that, I've been texting, and when Ive ben calling, its gone str8t to voicemail. Because I can no longer sit and wait for her response, I decided out the blue to change my phone number so that I wouldn't have to wonder if she is trying to call me. I;ve given the new number to all my relatives that she is close to so if she really needs to reach me she can go through my relatives. I do feel bad for changing the phone number... The other image that gets me is when we got back together 2 weeks ago and she cried on my shoulders quite a while saying she missed me.

I know they say to keep busy, and that's what I've been doing. There is someone else that REALLY likes me right now, but I still can't seem to get over her, although technically its only been since this past Friday with her last text. Im thinking of taking sleeping pills to help me sleep at night...

I am stuck, I feel like texting or giving her my new number, but if she doesn't respond, then I will be back to square one... Any suggestions would be greatly aprreciated...

I must add that I did tell her on Thursday that I needed to work on myself because I do or say things sometimes without thinking first and I admit that

So do just that-work on yourself.this isn't a relationship it's a rollercoaster ride to nowhere.too much drama-a lot of growing up needed

Hello,
Perhaps this time an extended time apart will give you and her more perspective on the relationship.

You were both emotionally abusing each other,you both had sex with other people when it had just finished the last time,if it was really that gut wrenching to end,how easy it was to have sex with someone new.

She does not want to hear from you,as you said if she wanted to she easily could.

If in a few days you do talk and start this pattern again,think about what has happened this last week,and ask yourself is this relationship worth this?

Just one more thing.. you told her you needed to work on yourself for a while,that perhaps cooldude is exactly what you should do.

Thank you for your replies, I understand that. And I am going to work on myself. I feel that I lost someone good. And I can't get those Images of who she is having sex with now, especially what I found out the last time we broke up... Im not sleeping. I can literally look at the ceiling for hours during the night which is why I'm taking sleeping pills

My only thing was how I changed my number dramatically. I felt like I just cut her off with no explanation

Keeping busy does work, but u STill will have those moments... Even though you are in a bad relationship and u KNOW it was bad, you still miss that person a lot

I also feel bad for telling off my cousin(her best friend) who leaked that information to her from Facebook. I will see my cousin on labor day during our family function, so maybe my cousin and I will be back on good terms

This relationship sounds Toxic , constantly breaking up and getting back together shows that you obviously don't learn from your mistakes and it sounds like she's finally had enough.

Give her some space and spend your energy on trying to work out why you keep breaking up , that way if you do get back together down the track you may be able to make the relationship work.

Quote:

Originally Posted by CoolDude48323

I do feel bad for changing the phone number...Any suggestions would be greatly aprreciated...

I've had a number changed on me, and it may have even been warranted if that's possible; I'm still undecided. But, I do know it wasn't cool, dude. If you truly feel sorry about it, man up and give her an apology in person or by letter, email, text if you think in person would be explosive. Doesn't have to be fancy, just say "I'm sorry, you didn't deserve that and I just wanted you to know." Feel free to add anything else you're sorry for and let it stand by itself. Do not ask her to contact you or anything else. If this is the last communication you two ever have, at least you won't have any loose ends that you could've/should've done and that will go a long way toward peace of mind and a restful night.

It's a roller coaster of a unhelathy relationship.Do yourself both a favor and move on. Your both at fault, you slept with different people, that isn't love. People learn from there mistakes.

Just let it go buddy, to many things have happen between you both for them to ever be the same. Its time to move on to the next faze of your life.

You will have many feelings like this to deal with after a break up. It has happen to us all, at one time or another, so don't feel like this is only happening to you. In time we overcome those feelings, and move on. That's what you need is time to deal with it, and get over it.

Read the stickies at the beginning of this forum.

Dude "NO CONTACT" is the best thing you can do.

This relationship is over dude. That's fact!

You are supposely in sooo in love. But you are constantly breaking up and both of you cheated on each other?

This relationship was over a long time ago.

Move on dude.

NO CONTACT... work on yourself...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scleros

I've had a number changed on me, and it may have even been warranted if that's possible; I'm still undecided. But, I do know it wasn't cool, dude. If you truly feel sorry about it, man up and give her an apology in person or by letter, email, text if you think in person would be explosive. Doesn't have to be fancy, just say "I'm sorry, you didn't deserve that and I just wanted you to know." Feel free to add anything else you're sorry for and let it stand by itself. Do not ask her to contact you or anything else. If this is the last communication you two ever have, at least you won't have any loose ends that you could've/should've done and that will go a long way toward peace of mind and a restful night.

One thing though... She didn't answer my calls or text for the last 7 days... Why should she even care or get upset that I changed my phone number?? My Aunt who happens to be best friends with my Ex and who also lives across the hall from my ex has my new number. I explained to my aunt that I would contact my Ex eventually, but that right now I just needed to work on myself. For the last 7 days I had no clue what or who she was doing, because look what happened last time we broke up...

Part of me wants to give her the new number, and BELIEVE me, I get the urge CONSTANTLY. The other part sinks in and says if she cared, she wouldve responded in one way or the other...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sweet_Guy23

Dude "NO CONTACT" is the best thing you can do.

This relationship is over dude. Thats fact!

Yall are supposely in sooo in love. But yall are constantly breaking up and both of you cheated on eachother?

This relationship was over a long time ago.

Move on dude.

NO CONTACT...work on yourself...

I wouldn't call that cheating... We were broken up... How is that cheating? Just curious to know... I see some of you see as that

Thank you for all of your replies by the way... Belive me, I appreciate them... I will tell you that my nights are the Hardest to get through...

Time is the greatest healer!

You had enough dramas already, learned enough lessons, and it is time for you to move on. You did the right thing, and do not update your ex with your new number to start over the drama again. It is over. There is no future with your ex, and you need to accept it.

When you meet a right person in future, please do not repeat the on-and-off dramas again. Good Luck!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sweet_Guy23

Time is the greatest healer!

Would u still call that cheating if we were broken up but then got back together within a month's time

Quote:

Originally Posted by winding200

You had enough dramas already, learned enough lessons, and it is time for you to move on. You did the right thing, and do not update your ex with your new number to start over the drama again. It is over. There is no future with your ex, and you need to accept it.

When you meet a right person in future, please do not repeat the on-and-off dramas again. Good Luck!

Thank you wing ding... I needed to hear that!

I think it wasn't explained right... the cause of the break up last time was not cheating, its never been that...

We both slept with someone else when we broke up and got back together within a months time

You need to step back from this get your life back on track and move on.this is toxic.let it go-for your own sake.