Hello I am 24 and 1 Year in my Relationship. I have really big trust issues and fear of lost. When I met my boyfriend, I made a bad experience with him. We only new each other for 4 weeks, but we went out together and I went home (his home) and he didn't came back in that night, he came in the morning and told me he kissed and touched another girl. I was very sad, but we both recognized that we like each other very much and we went in a very nice relationship. But I still can't deal if he would go in town... even when he drinks with his friends it makes me so crazy. I am afraid to loose him, but there is no reason? Who has Tipps to build trust and come over this fear of lost ?

This man s already given you every reason not to trust him-by staying out and by his own admission having had sexual contact with someone else-how and why on earth SHOULD you trust him? Please see this.He s not worthy of your trust.Id walk away from this asap.

I'm going to pilfer from another members byline,sorry can't remember who it is..

No trust-no relationship.

What if you decide to marry?
Have kids?

What then.
Either deal with it or move on.

Its up to him to build that trust back,not you.

What kind of a guy brings a woman to his own home in his own bed and then goes out and gets with another woman?? That is madness.

You see what kind of a guy he is and you have every right to feel these trust issues. If I were you I would be gone. That is just total disrespect on his part... at least he did you the favor of letting you know his character before things got too serious (although it seems that flag was ignored).

He broke your trust. If he can't repair the trust, then why continue to suffer?

If you're dissatisfied with his progress, when continue to live in misery?

1 year is more than enough time to try to fix these two aspects.

Without hard work to repair the trust or progress, you're just heading to a brick wall. Learn to see the signs on when to call it quits.

After the first time my xboyfriend broke up with me for really no reason at all, I was awfully heartbroken , because I trusted him not to hurt me, he did not cheat on me (I don't give 2nd chances to cheaters), a month after that breakup I took him back, I gave him another chance. I thought everything was great and he was great with me, but deep inside I always had the feeling that if I felt he wasn't going to catch me or that he was going to hurt me again, I truly didn't trust him completely again. He broke up with me again 6 months later, and this time I was even more heart broken.

The thing is that once trust is broken in a relationship things would never be the same, you can forgive your partner but you will never forget the betray. Some people do let go after a while, but others.. like me, just cant. If you are having those feelings you should let go of him before you get hurt again and again. Don't be afraid of being alone, you probably aren't though, I am sure you have lots of people that loves you deeply and that will help you get through the heart break, it was super hard for me because all of my friends and family are in another country ,and my ex was the only one I hanged out with when I came into the US, big mistake though. The break up really knocked me down, till just a few days ago I decided that he was just not meant for, that someone much better would come, and that its time to focus on my, not him. To love me, not him. I back slided and broke NC, like a million times, I kept making the same mistakes over and over again. That obviously didn't help my wound to heal. I'm still not totally over him, but I know I will,and you will too. Times heals all wounds

Thank you for all your help. He only looses it when he gets drunk, probably 8 Weeks ago. I went in bed early and woke up at 11pm and he wasn't there... I got panic something happened or what ever, so I run around the house and then I hear him talking. He was totally pissed at the neighbors house and he didn't left me a note or anything. And I went so angry and he was always saying " I can't even go to the neighbor" NO YOU can't IF YOU ARE NOT OLD ENOUGH TO LEAVE ME A MESSAGE! And then I think I am maybe to hart to him. I don't want him to think I won't to control him. I am just worried - that he forgets everything when he gets out... Maybe I should let him more freedom ?

Let him have total freedom by leaving him.sorry but this relationship is toxic.

There are many times the actions, or habits, of our partners gives us insecurities, and we react to them. That's more them, than you, and I think that's what your going through. Its up to you to let him know his actions make you feel a certain way, so he can make adjustments himself.

In this case a simple note, or message can help you get over his actions, when he just ups and is absent, or disappears without notice.

As I told you in your other posts, you both moved very fast in this relationship, without establishing boundaries of good behavior, thru honest communications. If that doesn't happen, your wasting your time with this relationship, because your not working together to resolve your issues.

It's a big red flag, when one partner cannot, or isn't willing, to resolve your issues to the benefit of you both. So try not to panic, or over react, but do communicate, and express yourself.

Then you will at least know if its worthwhile to stay, and work on things.