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-   -   Girlfriend troubles (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=391836)

  • Aug 30, 2009, 11:47 AM
    mcflyo
    Girlfriend troubles
    Hi my girlfriend and I that have been going out for almost four years just broke up. :( She says she loves me but only as a best friend, I have no idea what that means. Does she just not like me anymore? Or is it more complicated? Advice would be much appreciated.
  • Aug 30, 2009, 12:17 PM
    talaniman

    You both are young aren't you? Her feelings have changed, and she likes you as a friend, but the romance has died.

    It happens all the time with young couples. You just have to accept it, and move on. Its hard since you have been together so long, but things have changed.
  • Aug 30, 2009, 01:33 PM
    amicon

    This is part of growing up I'm afraid. Hard as it may seem right now you need to move on and find out what you want to do with your own life.
  • Aug 30, 2009, 02:25 PM
    redhed35

    Perhaps she felt the relationship was getting too serious and didn't want to settle down, your guess really is as good as mine,the fact is she said its over.

    She said she loves you but only as a friend,honestly that the nice way to end things,perhaps I'm wrong.

    Really now you have to pick yourself up and keep busy,don't call her,leave her alone,try and get on with your own life.
  • Aug 30, 2009, 02:27 PM
    jmjoseph
    Yes, it IS more complicated. Typically when people break up, they try to soften the blow of splitting by saying that they want to remain friends, or that they need space, or need time to grow. Usually, the best thing to do is try and suck it up , and move on with your life. I know it's hard, and we've all been there, but life is full of highs and lows. Right now, you're just at a low point. You'll be just fine. Good luck to you.
  • Aug 30, 2009, 02:42 PM
    paxe

    She either cheated on you or she is with someone else now and she is not telling you. Sorry to sound harsh but I'm betting it's that.
    You need to take care of yourself now. There isn't one love for everyone and it happens in life. You'll understand that it's one of the best thing that ever happened to you.
  • Aug 31, 2009, 07:25 AM
    TheAnswer001

    During a close relationship you often become best friends with your partner, as its someone you trust, talk to and share a lot of your life with. It sounds to me like the romance (in her opinion) has died, there is no 'spark' anymore and she wants to try something else.

    You probably are still her best friend, but you have to leave her to it now. Just cut her out your life for a while, but the important thing is don't let her use the 'best friend' line to her advantage. The truth is you will probably get hurt, as soon as she finds someone else you will be forgotten about.

    Leave her alone, don't call, text or e-mail her and if she wants you back she will come to you. Just be wary of the 'best friend' thing, she will want someone to talk to and help her get over you, but remember you will be just easily discarded as soon as the next guy comes along.
  • Aug 31, 2009, 07:28 AM
    s_cianci
    Quote:

    She says she loves me but only as a best friend, I have no idea what that means.
    I really don't know what it means either. For whatever reason the spark is just no longer there for her. Time to move on with your own life and go on to bigger and better things.
  • Aug 31, 2009, 07:28 AM
    kctiger

    The other posters are right. I don't keep my ex girlfriends as friends... it ain't working that way. For whatever reason her feelings have changed and as hard as it is you have to man up and accept that. The biggest step right now is for you to cut all contact with her out. Make yourself and coping with your own feelings the priority here, not her.
  • Aug 31, 2009, 07:38 AM
    amicon

    Kc is right-dont keep exes as friends- too much history in my opinion.
  • Aug 31, 2009, 08:16 AM
    I wish

    It's just another way of saying that her feelings have "changed". Accept and move on.

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