Hi, I have been seeing a woman that fell in love with me for the past three years. She was maried when we started seeing one another and she wanted out of her marriage as it was abusive. I was there for her but never interfered directly in the marriage as she had to make her own decisions. Four months after filing for divorce she tells me she wants a break from our relationship so she can find herself, but she told me she wasn't intrested in finding someone else but wasn't ruling it out as things could happening while we apart. She told me she still loves me and always will, but wasn't sure what she wanted in life and that she is going through a lot and needs "me" to sort her mind and what she wants out. She did say she didn't know how long it will take. My questions is do I wait for her and do you think she will come back to me?

We have no idea if she's going to come back to you. That's her decision. She might feel something today, but after some time of reflection, she might feel something else.

So instead of worrying about what she's going to do, focus on yourself. In other words, don't worry about the things you can't control, focus on the things that you can control.

If she comes back to you, then great! But in the meantime, start moving on with your life. So when you know that she's moved on with her life, you're in a better position to recover from the breakup.

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Originally Posted by mrgreg

Hi, i have been seeing a woman that fell in love with me for the past three years. she was maried when we started seeing one another and she wanted out of her marriage as it was abusive. i was there for her but never interfered directly in the marriage as she had to make her own decisions. Four months after filing for divorce she tells me she wants a break from our relationship so she can find herself, but she told me she wasnt intrested in finding someone else but wasnt ruling it out as things could happening while we apart. she told me she still loves me and always will, but wasnt sure what she wanted in life and that she is going through alot and needs "me" to sort her mind and what she wants out. she did say she didnt know how long it will take. my questions is do i wait for her and do you think she will come back to me?

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Yes, you did interfere with her marriage directly. You were having sex with someone else's WIFE. Now that she has filed for divorce she wants you out of the picture. Can you you really trust someone who was cheating on their spouse? No. Next time you fall in love, make sure she's not married.

Do you hink she is telling me in around about way that she wants it over? Then why tell me its over?

Nor matter how you look at it, it's no good:

1) She has a history of cheating. So how do you know you can trust her in the future?

2) Right now, she's keeping her options open. She tells you that she's not looking, but in fact she's not committed to you, so if another guy comes along, she can hook up.

3) If it doesn't work out with any other guy, she always has you as the backup plan, because you allowed yourself to be her backup plan. She knows that you will always be waiting around for her.

Start moving on with your life. If she wants to be with you, make her earn your trust and work for you. Don't be such an easy target.

But if you want the harsh reality, then find someone else who isn't a cheater.

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Originally Posted by mrgreg

do you hink she is telling me in around bout way that she wants it over? then why tell me its over?

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People always soften the blow by saying things like" let's take a break", or " I need to find myself", or " It's not you it's me, I love you, but......" Don't hold your breath. She has new found freedom, and wants to play. She didn't respect her vows made to her HUSBAND, so I doubt she cares much about how you feel. Sorry, but that's what happens when you have an affair with someone who is married. The world is full of nice, honest, single girls. Go find one.

Give her the space she needs and move on with your own life. She's got a lot going on right now and probably isn't ready for a hot and heavy relationship. Will she come back to you? Nobody can really predict that. Maybe she will, maybe she won't. But don't live your life as if she will ; live it as if she won't. Then if she does, it's a bonus. And if she doesn't, you haven't lost anything.

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my questions is do I wait for her and do you think she will come back to me?

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I think she used you to get out of her marriage, and now that she is out, she doesn't need you any more, as she is ready for enjoying her freedom.

That's what you get for trusting a lying cheater. Not that you were much better, to be honest.