Ask Me Help Desk
Page 1 of 2 1 > Last»
Show %1$s post(s) from this question on one page

Ask Me Help Desk (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum.php)
-   Adult Sexuality (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=370)
-   -   Husband sexually frustrated so need info! (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=391511)

  • Aug 28, 2009, 09:26 PM
    newlywed801
    Husband sexually frustrated so need info!
    Hey every one I am a newlywed I am eighteen and his nineteen yes were are young but we can't help when we fell in love! And no I'm not pregnant lol. We have a little problem though my husband wants sex every day and some time twice a day.. and I don't get in the mood that much and am super tired... I feel so guilty! I don't try as hard as I should but he just wants to come in and have sex right when he gets home and it makes me frustrated because he excepts me to just drop every thing and be in the mood then at that point I don't want sex at all :( I must sound like an awful wife but sometimes I get sore after we have sex and I'm not a little women I'm 5'7 and weigh 145 it hurt at the begin and sometime we finish anyway and it leaves me sore all day and sometimes into the next day! With these two thing my husband gets sexualy frustated at me.. he is not all about sex don't get me wrong he is a great guy! Please help me out you
  • Aug 28, 2009, 09:36 PM
    Alty
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by newlywed801 View Post
    hey every one i am a newlywed i am eighteen and his nineteen yes were are young but we can't help when we fell in love! and no im not pregnant lol. we have a little problem though my husband wants sex every day and some time twice a day .. and i dont get in the mood that much and am super tired ... i feel so guilty! i dont try as hard as i should but he just wants to come in and have sex right when he gets home and it makes me frustrated because he excepts me to just drop every thing and be in the mood then at that point i dont want sex at all :( i must sound like an awful wife but sometimes i get sore after we have sex and im not a little women im 5'7 and weigh 145 it hurt at the begin and sometime we finish anyway and it leaves me sore all day and sometimes into the next day! with these two thing my husband gets sexualy frustated at me.. he is not all about sex dont get me wrong he is a great guy !! please help me out yall
    What does he say when you tell him you're sore?

    Also, he's 19, at his sexual peak. That doesn't mean that he can demand sex whenever he wants.

    You need to talk, compromise, that's what marriage is all about.

    Good luck.
  • Aug 28, 2009, 09:42 PM
    newlywed801

    When I tell he it hurt or I'm sore he understands and stops asking but he still wants it and I feel like I am not fulfilling his needs! And is it normally for it to hurt at the begin and be sore?
  • Aug 28, 2009, 10:01 PM
    Alty
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by newlywed801 View Post
    when i tell he it hurt or im sore he understands and stops asking but he still wants it and i feel like i am not fulfilling his needs! and is it normally for it to hurt at the begin and be sore?
    Yes it's normal for you to be sore and feel pain the first time, and sometimes a few sessions after that. I don't think that's your problem though.

    How many times a day do you have sex? How stimulated are you? How gentle is he?

    In my experience most 19 year old boys don't have the patience to properly stimulate their partner, they're more concerned about getting themselves off. Also, if you're new to sex, doing it a few times a day is going to leave you sore, especially without proper stimulation.

    Sounds to me like he's just too rough, not properly preparing you to accept him and not really understanding how a woman's body works.

    As for fulfilling his needs, how about fulfilling your own? Do you know how your body works? Do you masturbate? Do you enjoy sex?
  • Aug 28, 2009, 10:12 PM
    newlywed801

    Yes I enjoy sex and no I don't masturbate.. he is very gently we always start super slow because I stay "tight" and it is painful.. we have had sex numerous times we have sex once a day sometimes twice
  • Aug 28, 2009, 10:19 PM
    TJ17

    Your best bet is to communicate better I think, tell him about all your thoughs about this continual sex wantings of his.
    Hey I'm 18 and I want sex all the time to but I wouldn't dream of continuing to do it if it was hurting someone I love.
    There are plenty of other ways of making him get his rocks off without it hurting you in any way.
    My thoughs are that maybe he's just thinking of his own needs in this and not yours, and yes he might be a great guy and all that but when it comes to sex, most guys don't think with there main brain and so forget about the other person they love and only thing of themselves.
    And maybe both of you need to go to some sex counsellor or something because personally I feel he needs some coaching on how to please a woman, and not just himself.

    Well that's my 2 cents worth... good luck.
  • Aug 28, 2009, 10:24 PM
    morgaine300

    In addition to agreeing with everything Alty says (but have to spread the rep), if you think you're being a bad wife because of this, you're going to end up very unhappy in this marriage. You seem to have a low opinion of yourself, as though you and your needs don't matter. That's one sided. You need to be understanding of his needs, sure, but it's a two-way street and he has to be understanding of you also. And if you're sore, you're sore, and continuing to give in might just keep making things worse.

    There's nothing wrong with giving in occasionally when you're not in the mood, but again, it's a two-way street. Sometimes he also has to be the one to give -- that is, not getting it sometimes when he wants it. Tell him to go masturbate if he needs it that badly.

    My concern is your attitude that somehow you're the bad one in this. Sex is about two people who give to each other, not one person always giving in to fulfill the other person's needs. It's not your job to be ready and waiting every time he wants it. I feel like you'll just end up unhappy and giving in to him the rest of your life if you don't think about yourself here.

    Males that age are generally immature. But you're going to have to find a way to talk to him and make sure he respects that you are half of this marriage.

    In other words, I don't think the main issue here is sex.
  • Aug 28, 2009, 10:28 PM
    Alty
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by newlywed801 View Post
    yes i enjoy sex and no i dont masturbate .. he is very gently we always start out super slow because i stay "tight" and it is painful.. we have had sex numerous times we have sex once a day sometimes twice
    Masturbating can teach you many things, the most important thing is how your body works, what stimulates you, what you like, what you hate.

    You say you enjoy sex. What do you enjoy about it?

    How can you hope to tell him what you like when you don't even know?

    Sex is something that takes practice. Nobody becomes a pro the first time out. But, there are things you can do to better the experience. It's your body, you're in charge of your own pleasure.

    You're still young, so is he. Talk to him, tell him how you feel, don't make him guess.

    Also, sex isn't the only way to give someone pleasure. ;)
  • Aug 28, 2009, 10:40 PM
    newlywed801

    What I enjoy in sex is the bonding experience but other then that I am not sure your right...
  • Aug 28, 2009, 10:57 PM
    Alty
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by newlywed801 View Post
    what i enjoy in sex is the the bonding experience but other then that i am not sure your right...
    You're not sure I'm right about what?

    Which part?
  • Aug 29, 2009, 01:14 AM
    simoneaugie

    Have you ever had an orgasm?
  • Aug 29, 2009, 10:05 AM
    newlywed801

    No no I might that I'm not sure what else I injoy... and you are right!


    And yes I have orgasm don't during sex though

    OOPS meant to say not during sex though
  • Aug 29, 2009, 10:29 AM
    Alty
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by newlywed801 View Post
    OOPS meant to say not during sex though
    Then when?

    You've already stated you don't masturbate.
  • Aug 29, 2009, 10:53 AM
    newlywed801

    He fingers me sometimes and I finish then...

    Would that be consider masturbating?
  • Aug 29, 2009, 11:25 AM
    Alty
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by newlywed801 View Post
    he fingers me sometimes and i finish then...

    would that be consider masturbating?
    No, that's not masturbating.
  • Aug 29, 2009, 01:07 PM
    newlywed801

    Sorry I'm am pretty uneducated in this typic
  • Aug 29, 2009, 01:08 PM
    newlywed801
    That's why I'm asking for help!
  • Aug 30, 2009, 12:39 PM
    Catsmine
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Altenweg View Post
    No, that's not masturbating.
    Yes Alty, it is masturbating. He masturbates her to climax. Newlywed, try doing it to yourself, it will enhance your experience. Mutual play can give you a break to let soreness subside, too.
  • Aug 30, 2009, 12:46 PM
    Alty
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Catsmine View Post
    Yes Alty, it is masturbating. He masturbates her to climax. Newlywed, try doing it to yourself, it will enhance your experience. Mutual play can give you a break to let soreness subside, too.
    I don't consider someone fingering you to be masturbating. I guess it depends on your description of masturbation.

    OP, how about oral sex?
  • Aug 30, 2009, 12:52 PM
    Catsmine
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Altenweg View Post
    I don't consider someone fingering you to be masturbating. I guess it depends on your description of masturbation.

    OP, how about oral sex?
    I always thought it referred to any manual stimulation.

    Masturbation - Psychology Wiki

    Newlywed, do the two of you indulge in oral stimulation, as Alty asked?

    • All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:04 AM.
    Page 1 of 2 1 > Last»
    Show %1$s post(s) from this question on one page