Hello. I have a small problem, I am 20 years old, I have never had a relationship or physical contact with a women other than my mom my whole life. The biggest thing is that I am completely afraid of women there are 3 reasons. One 99% of women don't look at me very how should I say pleasantly. Second I am completely afraid of any sort of legal action taken by women any sort of sexual harassment suit, complaint or anything will ruin my career, I know a few people who have been screwed over by women who think the best way to deal with men is to take them to court. Third I never wanted and I never want to have a dating relationship with women, the most interaction I want with women is conversations and sex. I know most women don't want that so that builds on my fear of legal action being taken against me.

Thing is I don't have the time, money, and desire to have kids, a wife or anything more than a casual or platonic relationship. This compounds on the fact that I have no personality, social skills, and I don't have good looks.

What should I do with myself, every year I feel worse about myself and I have no idea what to do.

How old are you, and why do you feel that you aren't attractive.

It's in the post, and I know I am not attractive, because I don't "attract" anyone.

Why don't you just concentrate on making friends with someone. Other than worrying about sex or legal problem. You also should have more confidence in yourself. If it's something about yourself that you don't like work on changing it. Only you can do that. If it's your teeth then get them fixed. If it's your weight talk to a nutritionist and start walking. You need to surround yourself with positive people that are going to lift you up not tear you down. People are very superficial, but then to you shouldn't be so focused on having someone for specific reasons. They could just be a good friend , and down the line grow in to something more.

I am in peek physical condition, I have a six pack, I can do 87 push ups in 2 minutes I can run 2 miles in 12:34. My teeth are a straight as can be, I have no acme, if I had a better shaped bone structure then maybe I would look good, guess I am going to have to get a lot of surgery.

I have never had friends I wouldn't know where to start to get a friend. I will always worry about our idiotic legal system regarding interacting with women, it scares the out of me and if something happened I would be useless has a member of society. Like I said I have no personality.

Another major reason I forgot to add was the fact that I don't want to interfere with peoples lives. I used to talk to girls all the time when I was a freshman in high school, but for some reason everyone one of the had a boyfriend and didn't want to be seen with me or they might get in trouble, I cannot count how many times that has happened. I have no problem with myself, I think I look good and I like the way I am. However, women seem to disagree and my life is wasting away. Like I said I think I look good but I know for a fact that I am unattractive because I have never been able to attract anyone, simple cause and effect. Positive attitude doesn't change reality.

Contrary to your beliefs. Yes it does. Then if you don't have any physical problems you must have some problems with in. and judging on the way you talk about yourself you do. First off girls can sense when your not confident in who you are. And with you second guessing yourself that is not very attractive at all. Women want to be with confident man, the smart ones do . Has someone in you life made you feel unattractive. Lets say a family member. If so that's probably the root of your problem. You need to find out why you feel the way you do. Also know that you don't have to believe that no one wants to get to know you. I'm sure you have something good to offer. There's some one for every one, but how will you ever get to know that someone if you don't open up. Did something happen with you and the legal system.

As far as the legal system is concerned I live vicariously, I have know three people who have had their lives destroyed by women for things that didn't warrant it. The only people who made me feel unattractive is the women I have tried to talk to. I am confident with who I am my ability to do my job but when it comes to women I am tired of the same old stuff all the time the same old fear and rejection.

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One 99% of women don't look at me very how should I say pleasantly.

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Are you sure this isn't just your imagination? Has a woman ever told you she doesn't think you're attractive? Also, realize, most 20 something girls are vain, looking for the hot guy with the fancy car and expendable income. Not all, but most. As you get older, meet older women, this will not be as big an issue.

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Second I am completely afraid of any sort of legal action taken by women any sort of sexual harassment suit, complaint or anything will ruin my career, I know a few people who have been screwed over by women who think the best way to deal with men is to take them to court.

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Are you sure that these guys didn't deserve to be taken to court? Saying that the women screwed them over is your version of the events, or the guys that claim to have been screwed over. No one ever admits guilt, they're always the victim. So be careful who you believe.

Don't commit sexual assault or harassment and you should be fine.

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Third I never wanted and I never want to have a dating relationship with women, the most interaction I want with women is conversations and sex. I know most women don't want that so that builds on my fear of legal action being taken against me.

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If you all you want is to talk and have sex, you're going to need a lot of luck.

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Thing is I don't have the time, money, and desire to have kids, a wife or anything more than a casual or platonic relationship. This compounds on the fact that I have no personality, social skills, and I don't have good looks.

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I don't think your looks have anything to do with it, it's more likely your attitude.

I don't know why you're so jaded, but you are. If you're only looking for sex, no commitment, it's unlikely you're going to find a girl.

Good luck.

Well of course you don't attract women.

You're afraid of them, and they can sense that--women prefer men with confidence.

And---you've openly admitted that you want to use a woman for what YOU want, with no regard to what she wants. No woman wants to be used.

See a psychiatrist. You need professional help with these issues.

What kind of relationship did your mom have with your dad? Other than talks with guys who had relationship problems, who have you listened to or observed?

Saying that you are "this way" and that's how it will be forever is living life blindfolded. Things change, even you change, every minute.

What you are looking for is friends with benefits. Make friendships first, benefits may follow naturally with the right women. Without building friendships, you are looking for a whore. Hooking up with a girl you need to pay is fine as long as you protect yourself from diseases and the places where it is illegal to do so.

The fear of litigation is a huge problem. Learn about what constitutes illegal behavior. That way, you know exactly what to avoid. Counseling directed to your fears is my best recommendation. That includes fear of wasting time and risking your career on interpersonal relationships.

You have put up a lot of barriers between yourself and women. Maybe part of the problem is that you cannot control them. Is this one of the reasons that you may justify them as money grubbing, screwing over men by taking them to court, robbing you of a career? You have an impression that is upside down, wrong, unjustified, and without truth.

You don't have time, money, or the desire to have kids, or a wife, or a solid loving relationship because that complicates your life, and God forbid you don't keep up that six pack, and the career path.

Your excuses for feeling the way you do because others have had bad experiences, or you are just too busy, or you have a lousy personality, are all things that can be changed, if you wanted to.

I get the impression that you are probably better off on your own, rather than bring your prejudicees and pre conceived notions of women into a relationship right off the bat.

I don't hear you saying you want to change, but you feel, as you said, worse about yourself, every year.

What are you prepared to do to change your reality, and accept women in a different, equal light.

I'm a bit concerned that you essentially blame women for your so called predicament.

Have you ever heard the expression that you attract what you give out? Well, you're not giving out much except fear and misogyny, so I doubt that you're going to attract anything worth having into your life if you you continue this way.

I'm not surprised that you're unhappy and feel bad about yourself. Ask yourself if this is the way that you want you life to be? Would you like to love and be loved, would you like to not feel afraid?

Then seek some professional help to explore the fear that consumes you. If you don't it will end up corrupting your life and your day-to-day connections with people.

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Originally Posted by Kalpesa

I never wanted and I never want to have a dating relationship with women, the most interaction I want with women is conversations and sex. I know most women don't want that so that builds on my fear of legal action being taken against me.

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I suggest hookers... or maybe one of those fancy dolls (think "Lars and the real girl"). Sex, no conversation, no law suits.